Great Acceptations (Cross Days)
by ShayOkami
Summary: WARNING! ADULT CONTENT 18 ONLY. NSFW. ALL CHARACTERS ARE OVER 18. What if Yuuki and Roka had been separated for a time? What if Roka had trouble coming to terms with the discovery of Yuuki's secret, despite his reasons behind it? What if Yuuki had discovered something in himself because of this secret? What if Cross Days had not quite ended the way it did?
1. Chapter 1 - Self-Acceptation

**WARNING! ADULT CONTENT 18+ ONLY. NSFW. ALL CHARACTERS ARE OVER 18.**

Plot: What if Yuuki and Roka had been separated for a time? What if Roka had trouble coming to terms with the discovery of Yuuki's secret, despite his reasons behind it? What if Yuuki had discovered something in himself because of this secret? What if Cross Days had not quite ended the way it did?

 **Chapter 1**

I was seated at my desk, feet propped up on it, lime popsicle in hand, and indulging myself in the fancies of an anime I had not seen yet, _Ah! My Goddess_.

It was a Saturday, the time on my phone read 12:34pm and school had ended roughly an hour ago. After talking with a few friends, I came straight home, got changed, and settled in for some hardcore anime binge watching. I had finished up the work for this weekend ahead of time, and I wasn't scheduled to be at the book store either, so I had all of today and tomorrow off.

I didn't have much of a plan, really. It was more like watch a couple episodes, take a one hour video game break, maybe a twenty minute nap and something to eat, and then back to watching Belldandy and Keiichi slowly fall in love, and all the funny stuff in between.

Belldandy was so beautiful. It would be so awesome to meet a girl like her and mutually fall in love... I found that I really love characters like her, because she is so kind and beautiful. A girl like her could accept me for who I am...kind of like...Kotonoha...

When I thought about it, Belldandy was like her in a couple ways, but not entirely. Not after I had learned the truth, though I like to imagine that before, at some point, Kotonoha was very much that type of person...

Urd was beautiful on a different level, and I wouldn't mind getting to know her. Belldandy would be loving and affectionate, but I know Urd would simply treat me like Chie does.

I rubbed my thighs and the balls of my feet together, smiling at the screen. Uh-oh, looks like Skuld was causing trouble with another crazy invention of hers.

As the commotion and funny accusations persisted, I automatically began sliding the green shaft of my popsicle between my lips for a spell, tasting the sweet, artificial lime all over my tongue, before stopping to clamp down with said lips and suck all the syrup out. Hehe~ ^w^

Of course, I never did stuff like this two years ago, and when I first started, I found it erotic in a funny way, I even laughed a couple times at how stupid I must look. But after a while, it became a casual thing I did when I was alone, like a lot of other things. Don't some people like to dance to music they would never be caught listening to when no one's around?

The front door opened, Chie was home from work.

"I'm home~"

I plucked the half green sickle from my lips, "Hey~"

"I brought dinner," she called, "should have it ready in half an hour."

Great...she bought instant noodles and frozen pot-stickers from the convenience store again... =_=

Oh well...

"Sounds good~" I called back, still watching my show.

"Did you take care of the laundry?"

"Yeah."

I heard her walking to my door.

"Oh hey, I almost forgot— _Whoa!_ Okay, might wanna cover that up~"

Chie had been standing in my doorway with her eyes covered, peeking between her fingers.

It took me a moment to realize what she was talking about, and then I saw her finger waving in the direction of my skirt, with the back hanging over the edge of my chair. From my angle, I couldn't really see anything, but from where Chie was standing with my legs elevated on my desk, my butt was pointed toward her and she could see _everything_.

"Ah!" My feet left their lax position and planted on the floor, I jerked down the front of my skirt too.

Sis clutched her stomach, "Hhh- _ha-_ ha-ha!"

The knees of my blue striped cotton thigh socks bowed together and my face felt hot, "S-sorry..."

"Ts'okay, it happens. Nice choice of panties by the way~"

I paused the show on my computer.

"So uh, what did you want to talk about?"

"Well, now that we got that out of the way," she let out another chuckle, "Keiko and Rei were talking with me about going to see a movie. I wanted to ask you if you'd like to invite your friends and come along, or if you'd rather stay home."

This was sudden, but Sis was never good with planning stuff in advance.

I thought for a moment.

"Or~" she brought up, "you could just come with us by yourself and I can, say, use the 'your my cousin from out of town' excuse again~"

"I'm not a fan of playing anything close to the edge, sis..."

"Just putting it out there~ It would be twice the fun~"

"I think I'll invite Taisuke and Kuroda, and go as myself, thank you," I grumbled.

"Those two? Won't you feel like a third wheel?" Chie raised an eyebrow.

"Not if I'm with you and your friends."

"Ahh~ right~right~right~" she nodded and turned to leave, but stopped and looked at me, "You've been eating stuff like that rather often for a while," she grinned at the popsicle.

"What, these?" I popped it back in my mouth to break off the now flavorless ice.

"Is it an image thing?"

She was probably thinking something lewd again... =_=

"Huh, I dunno', I suppose. I just gave them a try and they grew on me."

"Uh-huuh~ practicing?"

She had said this while I was just inserting more of the popsicle between my lips.

"Uh-no!" my fists clenched on top of my thighs with the pop in hand. "I really don't want to know what you meant by that!"

"Sounds like you already do~ Hey, if the slutty image is your thing, more power to ya, just make sure you really like the guy when you go to do the _real thing_ , kay~?"

"I would never do that!"

"Alright, alright, chill out~" Sis eased, "I believe you. Though I have to admit, you're not as uptight as you were before. Seeing your more playful side is much easier to deal with."

I shut my eyes and stiffened my back, "Yeah, sure, whatever..."

"Hmmkaay~ so would the spoiled princess like some tea?"

I still had trouble playing along with stuff like this.

My head turned away, my face felt warm, "It hardly sounds like an offer when you say it like that."

She giggled again, "You can be so tsun sometimes, the guys would really fall for that."

"What did I just get done telling you?"

"Yo _'sis'_ ," she pushed, "I'm seriously asking you. I'm going to be in my room, so I'm making a kitchen run while I'm still standing. Do you want anything?"

"Mmm..."

She always pulled this on me when I least expected it...

I found myself pushing the tips of my index fingers together, "Could you grab a few sodas and cheese strips for me...?"

"Alright, brb..."

"Haah~" I leaned back in my chair, letting my arms hang limp in their green cardigan.

Why was it still so tiring to talk to her? I guess it's true that while things change, some things never change.

I'm sure you find this all pretty strange. The way I dress, my new demeanor, how Chie and I talk now. I'll bet if a friend that new me two years ago had returned and seen how I am now, they would be wondering what happened to the old Yuuki. It might be a hard pill to swallow for them, and my new look might cause them to push away. Just for the record, if this hypothetical friend had indeed gone away two years ago and returned to see me again, I definitely wouldn't be dressed the way you just saw, or behaving the way I was. Save for the otaku stuff, that's always been my thing, haha...

It had been two years ago, my freshman year at Sakakino, I was sixteen then. I met a gorgeous girl named Kotonoha Katsura. She was...everything I could ever hope to find in a girl. She was kind, friendly and considerate of others. She was so nice, you could almost forget that she was that way towards everyone, which I guess was the cause for a misunderstanding on my part. Back then, I had all the same friends I do now, only...there had been some changes.

She was in love with a despicable human being, his name was Makoto Itou, and after learning more of what I could about him, I decided it was up to me to stop him from lying to her and harming her, or anyone else that crossed his path. At least...that had been my plan...

The crossdressing was merely a byproduct of the whole ordeal. You see, Makoto coveted girls. It didn't matter if they were in a relationship or not, if he saw someone he liked, he wanted them and would do anything to have them, no questions asked. I know this first hand, because I became one of 'those girls'. I began dressing as a female student at our school, I gave myself a fake name that was a derivative of my own – Yuu – and began coaxing Makoto to meet with Yuu, when I was dressed as myself. And after Makoto learned that I was the girl named Yuu that he lusted after so harshly, I learned that a girl didn't simply need to be a _girl_ in order for him to desire them. Someone only needed to look like a girl. I guess that's not such a bad thing when I think about it, but the context was what made it disgusting – the fact that Makoto wanted to possess anyone that looked feminine.

I was dealing with a lot, the pain of watching him continue to lead others on, him tempting me to join his brainwashed deranged sex club, having to conceal my plans, along with disgust for myself, simply for what I had pushed myself to do.

It all boiled down to...well...another girl. One I had met around the same time as Kotonoha. She wasn't really anything like Kotonoha, and we had a very rocky start. She said some things that really hurt me, and things were very up and down between us. I didn't know what to think of her at times, and other times, it was like I couldn't get her out of my head. I thought I had been in love with Kotonoha, and I guess I was, or else I wouldn't have done something as crazy as dressing up in disguise, just to risk being accosted by that monster Makoto. But, the more I pushed forward, the more I began to see the other girl, and I began to get worried that Makoto would hurt her too. She even lied to me and said she was in a relationship with him. You can imagine how that made me feel about everyone, including Makoto...and myself...

When I said 'boiled down to', I guess I should have said 'boiled over', which is exactly what happened. You see, because she was also a girl, you can take a wild guess at what Makoto wanted out of her. I guess he became too impatient, because as I was leaving the school to meet with her one evening, I saw him about to do something to her that made my blood run cold, before I...

Sorry, I lost my train of thought...to sum things up, I stopped him from hurting her, but I had still been dressed as Yuu. I guess you could call Yuu my 'alter ego', or at least she was. Kinda' funny, huh? The crossdressing superhero, Yuuki Ashikaga. Anyway, my identity was revealed to both of them, which put me in a lot of hot water. I was facing an atom bomb dropping on my reputation and the Ashikaga family name. However, the girl I mentioned kept quiet. I guess she was about as scared as I was. Makoto made me an offer that created a window for me to bring him down. However, that backfired as well, and I discovered the horrible truth about the girl I fell in love with, Kotonoha Katsura.

I was broken...I never felt so ashamed. When she was the one who had chosen her own future, to be soiled and chained to that vile creature, _I_ was the one who felt shame. Why...why did it have to be her, of all people...and why did I have to be such a fool...

But that was when the other girl came to my aid. She saved me from falling, and I am in her debt. Though this was when things began to take an odd turn. It wasn't your fairy tale romance ending, because she left, and every day that I've seen her, she... It wasn't like she ignored me, but there was trouble. She wouldn't talk to me.

I discovered, shortly after everything, that she had talked with Chie about what I had been doing. I discovered this because Chie told me. So now Chie knew...I didn't know whether to be angry about that or what... Honestly, I was angry, but not with her. That girl needed someone to talk to, someone she looked up to, and because Chie is my sister and her senpai, she thought she would know more about it.

Chie sat down with me, but the conversation wasn't as serious as you might think. She was pretty much her usual self, but when she started it, she did sound a little terse. I wonder if she was messing with me. I told her everything and she mostly expressed that she was thoroughly surprised and impressed. Her 'boring' younger brother had done something outrageous to protect the girl of his dreams, and then turned around and clobbered a guy for trying to harm her kouhai. She even admitted to me, her brother, whom she belts on the head for any reason she can come up with, that she was in my debt. That, however, was not the reason why she keeps my secret. In that moment, everything...all of it came crashing down again for me, and I found Chie holding me tight as I bawled on her shoulder. I guess it was her acceptance and her forgiveness. I had been so scared, so terrified of what she might say... You know what she said? With the only pure, innocent smile I think I've ever seen on her, she said, " _Mom and dad don't need to know. Unless you want to say anything, let's just keep this between you and me, kay?_ " That did it for me. I don't think we had hugged liked that ever since we were very little, and this was just a sign things were going to get better.

Although she called me a hero, sometimes I still don't feel much like she's treating me like one.

Well, things did get better. In some ways, it was how I expected. I went back to the old things I enjoyed doing, like opening a good book, watching my favorite shows, and playing MMORPGs with a new zest, and it somehow felt like I had not done any of them in a long time. It felt good to be back after all the suspense. However...there were other changes too...

I never told anyone this at the time, but I held on to the girl's uniform I used, to pose as Yuu. I don't know what was going through my head, it was a little confusing, and I questioned myself the entire time, but...after all the excitement, I felt like something had awakened in me. It wasn't like a power level in _Persona 3_ or anything like that, I just felt so alive. Winter was upon us, school would be letting out soon, and I felt like a brand new man with a brand new chapter set before me in my life - did I ever mention how I love to read?

I felt how life and all its splendors can be so short, and there are so many things that can happen without warning. Also, I had begun taking a closer introspection of myself, and I realized that for a person who was so young, I certainly wasn't acting it. I guess some of Chie's words had begun sinking in, which frightened me a little. But I think she was right, I was acting too old for my age. Not that what I started doing had much to do with my age. I guess it was more of a _me_ decision.

My first time dressing as Yuu, I felt, well...strange, which would be the best way to put it. I know there are people that wouldn't even think of trying that sort of thing, and that's their decision. Some might try it and find it's not for them. Me, I guess I was too wrapped up in the moment to consider whether I liked it or not. I was very determined and set straight on my goal to lure Makoto away from the others.

It was a bit of a before and after. When I had everything adjusted, the pads in place, lip stick applied, I felt a sort of sensation that was subtle enough for me to ignore it, but it made me curious, which I also ignored for the time. When taking a moment to look myself over in the mirror, making sure everything was convincingly in place, I couldn't help noticing how drafty it felt. I mean, I went all out! Sure, I obtained Chie's old uniform from storage, but I wasn't going to go in there wearing my boxers _under_ the skirt, and I definitely wasn't going _commando_! I wore panties! For the first time ever! And you don't want to know the trouble I went through to get them - they weren't Chie's panties. Crossdressing might be weird to most people, but I seriously wasn't about to wear _my sister's panties._ I got some from a store =_=

The after came _after_ I had managed to test out my 'goods' on Makoto, to see if he would take the bait. I remembered having to get changed back into my regular clothes in the girl's bathroom, and hoping I didn't get caught leaving. While removing everything, even the panties, I felt a little somber. Once I had my boxers, slacks and the rest of my uniform on, it felt...old...stuffy even.

I never thought much about it as I continued to dress as Yuu and persuade Makoto in my direction, until everything was over.

It was a few days after my talk with Chie, just as things were getting more settled for me. I felt right, everything just fell into place afterwards, for a while, but I'll get to that in a few.

One night, I couldn't sleep. I tossed and turned, the whole gambit. I, well, for no shortage of words, had a throbbing erection, pushing right up through my underwear and bed shorts, creating a little pup tent that probably would have been amusing, had it not been concealed by my sheets. I had this because my damn seductive thoughts kept floating back to the girl in the mirror that I use to see regularly for those few weeks, and knowing that that girl was me...

I tried rigorously to replace these thoughts with ones of Kotonoha, but that didn't work, because after learning what I had about her, my fantasies twisted themselves into freakish nightmares involving her, Makoto and that other girl, Sekai. It was bad enough that I nearly wound up in tears for the third time in two weeks, so that was no good.

Just for the record, fantasizing about girls I knew, or girls in general for that matter, was not a regular practice of mine. Back then, I wasn't what you would call a guy with a fully functional libido, because I wasn't very _open_ with myself, sexually. I don't know if it was because I just didn't get the memo - 'Hey kid, you're an adult now! Here's a porn mag! Now go have fun, sport!' Or if it was because of feelings of inadequacy, because, ya know, my height, my build, my penis size - for a short guy, I'm pretty average, I'll have you know, though I didn't really start growing hair down there until I was sixteen, but that's just another secret. Chie still teases me about it though =_=... I guess you could say this explains why crossdressing appealed to me so much, and why it kind of 'opened the flood gates' on my libido, so to speak. I don't think I can remember ever looking at porn in the past...well, maybe once or twice when I was thirteen and fourteen, but I was definitely the kind of guy who could let you trash his room in search of 'smut' - I don't call it that anymore ^_^ - knowing full well, you wouldn't even find an underwear catalogue. That's just the truth, and now that I look back on it, it makes me a little sad. I don't know that crossdressing 'saved' my sex drive or my possible love life, but it definitely showed me a new side I had been neglecting. Discovering it opened up a new world to me. I can say with confidence and joy that my experiences during the age of fifteen and my first year at Sakakino were an awakening. Now, you _definitely-don't_ want to check my room, and definitely not my external hard drive, my sock drawer, my underwear drawer, my shirt drawer...my pants drawer...the huge luggage bag in my closet...the duffel bag on the shelf in my closet...the box under my bed...ugh~ I'm gonna' stop now...

So then I tried to turn to thoughts of _her_ , the girl I had rescued. Our time together had been very rough, but I learned some wonderful things about her, and some things she thought about me. Plus, with that cute body she had, how toned and athletic she was, her purple hair with those twin tails over the back of her neck, which I had to admit were really cute, and how she was exactly my height, it felt...special...and the fact that I accidentally saw one of her breasts.../

But...that didn't work either! She basically took herself out of the picture entirely, without so much as an explanation!

I tried to push aside the emotions involved and just think about her body. I realize now, looking back on that, for a guy who loves reading fiction and making use of the imagination, I wasn't very practiced at imagining erotic scenarios. Even when I tried imagining her knocking on my window, me letting her in, and her suddenly straddling my frame as I still lay in my bed clothes, and apologizing fiercely for leaving me without so much as a goodbye, even then, the _other_ fantasies kept creeping up.

It was all because the images of that girl I saw in the mirror kept creeping into my forethought. It was all because of that uniform, just sitting in my closet, stuffed in a corner behind some shoe boxes, the panties, stockings and wig were still there as well. I kept seeing her dancing about in my room, wearing that same uniform, feeling free and knowing there was no one around to spy on her or catch her in the act.

However, the more I tried to bat back the images, the more intense they became. In a short time, she was no longer dancing in the moonlight of my window, but now she was caressing every inch of her slender body with unquenchable curiosity, admiring it's mystery and beauty with such appreciation, so happy to be alive, so happy to be human. Her breasts were not noticeable, in fact she was rather flat chested, which I found equally arousing. Soon, she laid down on my floor and continued to caress herself, gently brushing her hands all along her neck, her chest, slowly down to her hips and in between her thighs, right where she was most vulnerable. I could hear her breathing softly as they moved down to her legs, and ran all along the black stockings that hugged her legs with such vigor. I felt so hot because of those stockings.

She slowly raised one leg, knee pointed upward, and smoothed all the way down to her toes. I could see her under parts, the pure, white panties were a border between the soft skin of her butt-cheeks and thighs. When done fondling the one leg, she moved on to the other, and I didn't want it to end.

She sat up in a seiza position, and smoothed her hands up her thighs until they hooked around the hem of the skirt, and proceeded to lift it up, exposing the broad plane of her undies. A closer look, and I could see the shadow of a bulge. I knew, but it was still fascinating to watch.

While one hand held her skirt, the other began caressing the bulge, almost like she was petting it. A thumb hooked itself into the waistband, I could see a tiny pink ribbon in the middle of it.

She pulled down, and I discovered I was capable of surprising myself, when I saw what was revealed. A penis, not quite fully erect, flopped out into the pale blue light. I knew that while exposed to the air, it would continue to pulse and grow to a full 13.97 centimeters, 5 and a half inches.

What had truly surprised me was that I was comfortable with what I was seeing. I mean, it was mine. _That_ was _me_. It wasn't a girl, and I came to the conclusion that there was never a _girl_ in the mirror. If there was one, I would be looking at a whole different set of equipment right now. If there was one, she was only a manifestation of my femininity, my tenderness, my passion, what I desired to give to others and receive in return. This person before me, who had begged my full attention for the past several hours so they could show me something special, who had waited quietly in the shadows of my subconsciouses for days, _weeks_ , waiting for their chance to speak, was just another part of me! A part that I had neglected...

I could see on my own face that my imagination was more excited than I was. He was enjoying himself, because he was the one performing. He was the one who could feel everything, and right now, it was my job to watch.

I realized that I was comfortable with looking at my own form, looking at my own sexual parts, in such an alluring and provocative way. Why wouldn't I enjoy that? I spent so much time, every day of my life, looking outside myself, that I forgot to look inward.

My penis and scrotum stuck out like something that didn't belong, and ironically, fit perfectly in its own place. I especially loved how the scrotum looked, still tucked in the fabric of the panties, but they would also look nice if I pulled them down more.

As I gazed, enraptured from my bed, the me on the floor began poking a single finger at the tip of his member with a smile on his face, like it was a new toy he found, completely unaware that I was watching. He ran the finger all along it, from the tip on down the shaft, as it began twitching into full length.

He continued to look at it as it twitched, and spied a tiny pearl of clear fluid beginning to form at the opening. He smiled, biting his other finger in such a cute fashion it had to be criminal. He pressed the pad of his index against it and lifted it to reveal a long string of the clear fluid forming, shining in the moonlight. He then exposed his tongue and touched his finger to it.

' _Wow..._ ' I gulped. ' _I want...to try that...I wonder what it tastes like..._ '

He placed his finger on it again a few times, playing with the clear fluid that was seeping out, making long strings with it and gazing at their shine in the moonlight.

He still had his foreskin, just like I still have my foreskin. It was tightly wrapped around his head as the whole thing continued to twitch with excitement.

It was only later that I began attaching personalities and emotions to penises, but even at that time, I would say my imagination's penis looked pretty happy.

My imagination took the tip of his dainty finger and began making little circles are his urethra. He did this for a long time, so that more and more clear liquid flowed out until his pink head under his foreskin was glistening even more than it had been before. Then he slipped the tip of his finger in between the head and foreskin, and began making circles all the way around, stretching the foreskin extra tight.

" _Nnnmm~..._ " he winced with the pleasure, his eye winked shut cutely with the fascination of what he was doing to himself.

He poked his finger in deeper and continued to make those slow circles, and I was certain that he would finish just from doing that...

But this was obviously not all that he wanted to do with himself, and sadly stopped, only to start something new and just as fun, if not more.

He removed his wet, glistening finger and licked it again. His member was still twitching and bordering on impatience. He gave it a slow stroke with his finger that was almost teasing, as if to say 'shh~ don't worry~ we'll get there~'

He made a tight circle with his thumb and index and clamped it around his head and foreskin. Then slowly and gently, tugged down. His foreskin became really right, before slipping off his head altogether, causing it to jiggle a little. I could swear his head had swollen and gotten just a little bigger after that.

"Hmhm~ " He giggled to it with a content smile and set his free hand on the floor.

He wrapped all of his fingers around the head so I couldn't see it anymore and made one long, tight stroke downward.

" _Hhhh~_ " he breathed heavily. I could feel the tingling in his member just as much as I could feel it in mine at this point, and it made me want to cry out too...

He began stroking himself up and down at a pace that was so slow and sensual, I would have thought it was boring if I had only heard about it in short detail. But seeing it within my own mind, and know that this was purely for the sake of enjoyment and nothing else, I was surprised we both didn't climax immediately within that moment!

It's hard to explain, but it's like how some people eat slow, to taste wine slow. It's so they can experience every little nuance.

"Hahh~ ...hahh~...haahhh~ ..."

At first, my imagination didn't move anything other than his own hand.

"Mmm~ ..."

He calmly and gently slid his fingers over his pink, bare head, sometimes tightening them when he went back down, causing electric waves through his entire body.

His penis wasn't making any sounds for the first few seconds, but with all the fluid slowly exiting his head, it began to glisten more and make wet, lewd sounds...

 _Sllk...slk_ _...shlk..._

The expression on his cute face framed by his peach colored hair that draped cutely over his shoulders was soft and sultry, his mouth slowly beginning to open in low gasps of desire.

" _Haahh...ahhh..._ " he stroked a little harder, " _Mmm~..._ " he raised his head with his mouth shut tightly, squealing gently at the ceiling. He loved this.

My imagination didn't have a care in the world. It was just him, his body in the moonlight, and whatever his mind came up with next... If he wanted to stay in this state forever, I would have no complaints...

" _Ahh!~_ _...Ahmmm!~_ " he picked up his stroking a little faster, but only a little, he didn't want to rush this time.

His hips began moving gently, pushing his members into his hands while they still stroked. I watched as his shoulders pivoted gently, his long hair beginning to wave in tiny wisps.

" _Yah...Ahhh_ " this time he didn't speed up at all. With such strong discipline, he maintained control over his body, while it looked like his mind was beginning to swim.

While I was on the verge of bursting from pure amour and excitement, my imagination continued to take its time. It wanted to savor and enjoy every moment, the ending was not his goal, but the journey.

" _Nghaaah~_ _Haahh~_ "

A few strokes at his same steady pace, and then it happened. The tip twitched once.

" _Hh-_ HAah! "

He actually squealed out loud! And for a guy, he sounded so much like a cute girl. His mouth closed tight as his eyes focused.

"Mmh! "

A thick, long string of white shot upward. It floated back, landing across the white fabric of the shirt stretched over his chest, the red ribbon of Sakakino High School, and its black corset.

" _Mmh!_ _Aah!_ "

Another came out, thicker this time, and most of it landed on the space next to his nose, stretching down his cheek, over his mouth and to a dribble hanging off his chin. His face looked so surprised and cute when this happened. The rest landed on his partially exposed clavicle and the white undershirt.

" _Hah! Haah!_ "

His fingers rubbed his shaft wildly, three more strings shot out! I counted. They were not as big, or as long as the first two, but they added to the beautiful mess I was witnessing. They mostly landed around the skirt and lower portion of the black corset.

A pause...

He sat there, looking down at himself with the most lewd, content smile, very happy with what he saw.

"Hah...hah... " his breaths came out in high, feminine wisps.

His chest and shoulders rose and set under the fabric. His eyes stared at the messy uniform, at his hand, now with small globs of his essence on it.

He lifted it, and began licking.

' _What does it taste like?!_ ' I cried.

He licked it clean, but didn't bother with his face and the uniform. It looked like it tasted nice, I wonder if it's like cream or milk~

My imagination allowed himself to lay down, taking in the peace and bliss of his release.

I felt I could stare at him the entire time. I could stare at him as long as he needed until he decided to get up and do something more fun.

But when I blinked, he was gone. It was now up to me. My choice.

If this had been some kind of advertisement, I was sold. I couldn't pass it up.

I checked my phone, it was only 1:30am. Everyone was asleep. I jumped out of bed and gently slid the closet open.

I didn't have to do everything my imagination showed me, I just wanted to see myself in that uniform again!

I won't go into detail about the whole process of putting everything on, because if you're like me, you already know, and if you're a girl, well, you know.

I will say, I was getting a slight sense of deja vu, which wasn't hard to figure out why.

Also, after laying everything on my bed and proceeding to strip down to my birthday suit in the light from my window, that was when a tingling sensation started up deep down inside me. It continued as I pulled the thigh socks on, with the fabric hugging my legs tight. It became its strongest when I placed one foot and then the other inside the panties, and pulled them all the way up. They fit perfectly, just like before. Mind, I did do a little bit of shaving of 'unwanted hair' when I first wore this uniform. It would stand out if a cute girl had even as few strands as I did, sticking out around her thigh socks. But now, since it had been so long, a little of that had started growing back. Needless to say, my skin didn't look as smooth and lush as it did with my imagination, but that would be remedied in the future ^_^

The uniform was all the way on, add the wig, and I was set. I even made a point of averting my eyes from the standing mirror next to my dresser, because I wanted the surprise.

And it worked. Not too bad, if I say so myself ^_^ I couldn't even see my tiny leg hairs because of the bad lighting, really.

I looked myself over and gave a little twirl - something I actually did when I first tried on the uniform for a different purpose. I felt pretty happy when I twirled like that. Yes, I, Yuuki Ashikaga, for all intensive purposes, felt pretty. I wanted to drink tea with my friends and go out shopping with them, I wanted to have a bunch of stuffed animals to comfort me when I was feeling fragile and vulnerable, I wanted to be wooed romantically by someone, and I wanted people to say I was cute, pretty, even sexy or beautiful at times. I wanted to do all the things that boys are not expected to do, I was slowly learning that there were a lot of things that I liked that boys were not expected to like, some of these things I had always liked, and I don't think I ever felt freer in my life.

Before getting wrapped up in viewing my transformation in the mirror any longer, I remembered that there was something else I wanted to do, and that I should probably do that, unless I wanted to stare at myself in the mirror until the sun came up, which honestly...was something I would have rather done, because I was too nervous to do the other thing, and I didn't want to be tired all day.

Well, anyway, I did want to do what my imagination had done, but if I got this thing dirty on my first night wearing it in weeks, I would have to find a covert means of washing it. Yeah, not a comforting thought. So, I grabbed a pocket square from my dresser.

Okay, so I can also say that at the time, I possessed none of the skill, patience, form, playfulness, or peace of mind that my imagination had. None whatsoever. The last time I masturbated had been maybe a month ago when all the bad stuff was still happening, and that was in fact a wet dream I had about Kotonoha...please don't tell Chie ~

So here I was, inexperienced on a whole other level, with practically no experience in solo-sex, not to mention the real thing. To be honest, I still have no experience with the real thing... _shut up!_ Dx

I was wearing a girl's Sakakino uniform, which was very arousing in and of itself, and I was about to do something I had not done in a very long time. The lights were off, but there was still a considerable amount of light from the moon, which made things feel very mysterious and romantic, but still difficult on me. I wonder if I should have closed my curtains and did it in the dark...

In short, it didn't take long for me to pop the top, and my aftermath was anything but blissful and erotic. More like ashamed, betrayed and pretty let down.

I looked at the little glistening puddle I had made in the pocket square. Yes, it was _a puddle_ , I had not done this for _a while_ , so I was _pretty backed up_ , okay?

It kind of reminded me of a glistening cup of sake in the moonlight, like what you see in anime.

I wanted to. I tried to force myself, sticking my tongue out and everything, but it was like the erotic feelings had been so intense before, and now they were just gone! I really did want to know what it tasted like, what _I_ tasted like. I could smell it though. It wasn't unpleasant, but very musky.

If you're curious, I did manage to try it later on and discovered it's very salty. I don't taste too bad actually ^w^

Wanna' know how? Hmhm~ it had to do with taking a shower while Chie wasn't home, propping my butt at an upward angle in the tub, and opening wide~ ;3

It did take some getting used to, I had to do it regularly before I got over the emotions that kept pushing the other ones away, just like with masturbation itself. Every time I did it, it got a little easier until it wasn't a big thing anymore, and I could thoroughly enjoy myself.

I started working on auto-fellatio that winter — when a guy can perform fellatio on himself — and now, at age eighteen and about to graduate high school, I'm a pro at it!

Never thought I could be so wild, did'ya? You may say it's creepy, gross and weird, but I think it has to do with what we're taught in this prudent society of ours. If you do think this, don't worry, I used to be just like you, but my views about certain things have changed. I also discovered plenty of porn where girls taste themselves all the time. I think it's something someone should try at least once. Don't worry, no one needs to know. But if you're not the kinky type, I don't hold it against you, some people are just too grossed out by it, and that's understandable, so was I, at first.

I guess my logic is this: People have the right to enjoy their own bodies however they wish. We're all entitled to the privacy of our thoughts and what we do behind closed doors. And also, if guys like girls to perform fellatio on them and swallow what _cums_ out, it's pretty unfair to think a guy shouldn't do the same for himself, so he knows what she's getting.

Looking back on it now, I can't help but laugh at my neuroses and inexperience, it was cute.

Anyway, after not being able to lick my own ejaculate and finishing up for that night, because I clearly wasn't going any further, I quickly took everything off, put my pajamas back on, tossed the stupid uniform and its cute panties in the closet, and jumped into bed, contemplating cramming the stupid thing back where I found it the next day.

I even thought of pointing at it and shouting 'You ruined my life!' But I knew better... I knew that wasn't the truth. As I said, a new chapter had opened up in my life, and I think that uniform and all the curiosities it conjured inside me had been what turned the page, after all the chaos. After attempting to take my own life, I was about learn what it was to live.


	2. Chapter 2

**WARNING! ADULT CONTENT 18+ ONLY. NSFW. ALL CHARACTERS ARE OVER 18.**

 **Chapter 2**

The next day, I couldn't help thinking there had been something I missed about the night before...

I ignored my closet and went about my day. I got dressed, ate breakfast and went to school. The day was pretty normal, more or less, with Kuroda and Taisuke bothering me during lunch and after school. Those two had been getting rather close lately... =_=

I had library duty, and by that time I was kind of looking forward to getting home.

The house was empty as usual, and I went straight to my room after kicking my shoes off. I opened the closet and dug the uniform out once again.

I didn't do anything with it, I just looked at it and pondered. I looked over the panties and stockings in my hands.

I wondered what it was about the night before that made me so angry and frustrated. Was it the uniform? My fantasy? Or was it me?

I brought the uniform over to my bed and sat down with it in my lap.

For a moment, it seemed pretty silly to me that I was pondering this so deeply, haha, and I guess it was, but it wasn't difficult for me to push that aside, really. This was important to me. I had been drawn to wear this uniform again, not for any purpose of going out and luring another creep away from an innocent girl, but for myself, my own personal, secret reasons.

Chie wouldn't be home for a while, at least. Though I felt that telling her about everything that had happened had brought us a bit closer, I guess it was going to be a while before I started seeing more of her, not that I had a problem with that at the time.

So I stripped down and put the whole uniform on again.

I looked myself over in the mirror. I ran a hand along a lock of the peach colored wig hair, and the gesture looked cute to me. I pouted my lips and it was even cuter! That was when I began to feel the tense bulge starting to grow underneath my panties again, well concealed by the skirt.

I knew that wearing these clothes is an everyday thing for girls, and can hardly be considered erotic, to them at least. So for me, I guess it could be a little of both...

And that's when it hit me... I had not taken my own inexperience into account! I never wore clothes like this, and as a guy, clothes like this bore a different meaning to me. I also did not masturbate much, another thing I had little experience with. So little experience that, whenever I _did_ do it, I felt like I didn't know myself well enough — I also didn't realize until later that I was a little too reserved in my nature to be jumping so far ahead in this, but that was neither here nor there ;3 — So essentially, the reason why my experience from the night before, and all the emotions that ran with it, was not exactly any fault of my own, or any fault on my idea of wearing the clothes or following my fantasy, it was simply because it was my first-time doing all those things on that one account.

In short, I had bitten off more than I could chew.

I was rushing into the whole thing too fast, I did too many things all at once and I wasn't used to any of it, which had caused me to become over-aroused and then overwhelmed - this had been my first time thinking of that term. You have to learn to walk before you run, and the more you do something, the better you get at it. I needed experience.

"I get it now..." I said to myself and sat on my bed, the short skirt feeling delightful under my butt cheeks.

If I wanted to follow through on my fantasies - and I really did - I had to do it more often, starting with little steps.

If I didn't, I felt like I would be missing out on something wonderful, and the fantasies would continue to knock at the door of my brain and keep me awake at night.

It was a new thing, and I figured, if I were to wear these clothes all the time, the arousal would wear off after a while, but it's not like I would stop being attracted to the idea.

I thought about how I would go about it, while lifting up a part of my skirt a playing with it.

I thought that I should probably start with wearing the uniform for at least a few minutes every chance I got, if I didn't want to get caught. Which meant, whenever I came home to an empty house, it was ten minutes to half an hour of staying dressed like this. And at night, when everyone was asleep, I had to try wearing it for at least half an hour before going to bed.

But I also needed a means to remedy the sensations it would conjure, especially once I was no longer wearing it. Masturbation was really the only answer for this. For the first time, I actually wanted to become really good at it ^_^

I guess most guys don't think of it that way and just do it, which I guess makes me a little strange, but after everything that happened, I was slowly learning to accept myself for who I was, sexual fantasies n' all.

"I wonder if there are books on it..."

I later found out that _yes_ there were books on it, but the online scientific and psychological articles were much more informative. I learned a lot of tricks over the next few weeks~

I learned that it _actually was_ considered an art form and that there was a right way and a wrong way to do it, so my thoughts had been pretty precise, much to my enjoyment. I learned that fast, rushed and paranoid was definitely the wrong way to go, and yielded few positive results, with some negative ones. This explained why I strayed from it most of my life, because I don't remember ever feeling too good about myself after the few times I had done it. I had figured it just wasn't for me.

With masturbation, it was slow and steady wins the race. It had a lot to do with atmosphere, solitude, comfort, preference, self-appreciation and self-understanding. Almost no focus was put on orgasm, ironically. Essentially, it's all about the person doing it and what they like, hence why people also called it 'me time'. That was _way_ more meaning than I had ever attached to it. It almost sounded like a form of meditation, which by the way, meditative masturbation exists too...yeeeah, I just wanted to have fun and improve as a person, but I couldn't see myself becoming a 'Buddhist Priest of Solo-Sex', though it did bring on some appealing fantasies about wearing a shrine maiden's outfit~

I also learned that having an orgasm more than once a day was actually a very good thing! I used to think masturbating too much made you sick in the head! But the article I read said it didn't matter how many times one orgasmed in a 'session' or in a day! It turned out, people who didn't have a regular sexual release became more prone to anxiety, depression, angry outbursts, and irrational thinking...learning this and looking back on some of my own decisions made me a little depressed...

I learned that the only risk to masturbation was known as a mental disorder called compulsive masturbation, which had less to do with masturbation itself, and more to do with developmental issues or something missing from a person's life and how they handle it. It was a little bit like being a sexual compulsive, only it was when one allowed masturbation to have a higher priority than more important things in their life, like eat, sleep or public decency. I had heard about people like this, the kind that could be doing it on a train or in a public place. The disorder was a severe one, and it wasn't by any fault of the person with it. I learned that most compulsive masturbators actually wished they could stop, and that extensive psychological treatment was needed. I took a moment to say a little prayer for them.

So it was all about balance.

From what I read, masturbation was likened very much to having coitus with a partner, only it came with different splendors and none of the risks.

I had learned that masturbation was not only something I wanted to do for fun, it was actually something I should do for my own health, at least on an average level of a few times a week. This information was enough to send me to the moon!

*brief, embarrassing image of me flying through the stars, blissfully giggling to myself* /

I had discovered that my body and mind were a plentiful bounty that I had never noticed before!

Maybe if Makoto had the patience and imagination for this knowledge, he wouldn't have turned into such a possessive shit-for-brains. He could have spent more time appreciating what he had than trying to grab any girl he could take, _very_ literally.

I guess I always imagined it to be something vulgar, but I learned so much about it, and discovered that it was a gift that one gives to themselves, and at the same time, sexual release, whether alone or with a partner, was just as much a part of life as sleeping, eating, working and keeping hygiene - talk about that sensation you feel when stepping into a hot bath, am I right? This explained all the occasional wet dreams over the years. I thought it was just something that happened from time to time, but was really a sign that I was repressing the sexual needs of my body and my mind.

Anyway, I'm getting ahead of myself.

While I sat on my bed, still wearing the uniform, I contemplated and made plans in my head about how I would go about my research. This was a topic that was important to me, so I wanted to know as much as I could.

The fantasies I had conjured about the crossdressing did scare me, but against the fear, I still did it, my desires had become stronger than my fear. I wanted to know if this was something that should concern me. Most guys didn't do this sort of thing. I knew there were other crossdressers out there, we call them otokonoko, and while they're looked down upon in most circles, they're excepted among others.

I wondered if I could be comfortable carrying that title. I guess I was, since my sister's kouhai, Chie and Makoto had already found out.

This matter was purely private to me. Even though I had managed to go out in public dressed like this, and successfully woo a guy, that was not something I wanted to do at this point - Makoto may have been a jerk, but he still found me attractive enough to get grabby, which told me something... /

It was a kink. A fetish. I had to be honest with myself. I slowly learned to accept this as well. Yuuki Ashikaga has a sexual fetish, who woulda' thunk it?

And I guess it's still a kink for me to this day, because it's not a common thing for a guy to dress like this. But you know what, I think that's what makes it special. People have their thoughts on it, but really, what harm has it really done?

It's a little different than being _just_ a kink to me now...I guess it's just a part of my life.

If doing this means I'm a little touched in the head...*sigh*...oh well, then I guess that's just how I am. I'm different, I always was, mentally and physically. I'm short, I have a small bone structure, high cheekbones and a smooth face. Kids in primary school teased me for looking like a girl, and it didn't stop, even when I got into high school. I don't want to worry about it anymore. I also don't want anyone to feel sorry for me. That's not why I'm doing this.

You can bet I applied research to this later on too, and discovered some reassuring things.

I stood up from my bed to take another look at myself in the mirror. My arms stuck out to the sides, and I twirled on one foot, the skirt and my hair flourishing around me, which I caught briefly, the moment I looked in the mirror again.

I was so happy! I jumped in the air, overwhelmed with joy. I looked good!~ I was hot!~ You could say I was a giddy little school girl~ ;)

Half an hour of wearing this thing just wouldn't be enough. Chie got home normally two to three hours after I did, so I would just stay in my room and keep the door closed until I heard her return. I arranged some of my clothes on the bed so they were ready for me to jump into quickly. I also kept the closet door open to save some milliseconds.

I returned to my bed, playfully folding the skirt under my butt like I'd seen all the girls do, and sat down again. I was wearing the uniform...so now what?

I decided to refrain from pleasuring myself for the time being and just enjoy the sensation of the bulge under my skirt and the tension of the panties.

I contemplated removing the uniform and doing some shaving. I wanted to remove _everything_. I didn't have a lot, which would actually make it easy.

However, I decided to save it for another time and just enjoy the mood I was in now.

I didn't have my laptop back then, or else I would have begun research right then and there.

So, I grabbed a book from my shelf. It was one I already read, but I didn't care. I laid myself out on the bed with feminine grace and elegance, and began reading.

In the days to come, along with my exciting discoveries and practices, I had created a schedule for myself, which became more open once the winter break started. I suffered through, and found a way to drink in the embarrassing sensations that followed every orgasm I experienced after masturbation. I tried many new things and kept pounding away at them as best as I could, until they became regular choices to my repertoire.

I eventually could masturbate while pinching my nipples and massaging my chest. I learned it's not just for girls

I practiced masturbating while touching other parts of me as well, like caressing my face or my butt, and got some stimulation out of that.

I really enjoyed fondling my testicles, pinching and stretching my scrotum in different ways.

I really wanted to practice bukkake for my more extreme fantasies, it would also help me get used to the idea of tasting myself, but I was worried it would be too hard to wash out of my hair and everyone would notice. Honestly, I liked the idea of it staying there.

My fantasies expanded too. I soon found myself imagining not only masturbating, but watching hentai and porn while doing it. I imagined wearing all kinds of different outfits. And then, hehe, it wasn't long until I was imagining myself using toys.

I took an opportunity once to use a computer and surf a few sex toy websites, and I couldn't believe my eyes! Suddenly, I wished I was really rich. They had all kinds of stuff there! I found myself getting new ideas the entire time! I didn't even know there were sex toys for guys! I never knew what an ona hole was until now, and I liked it! I looked into the sexy wear section and more fantasies and ideas met me. Then I noticed the button on the screen that read 'anal'...and close to that, the one that read 'dildos'...

I took a quick peek around myself to make sure no one could see, though it would already be awkward for someone to catch me looking through a sex toy website, but dildos just didn't fit well for a guy. Haha, _fit_...

I held 'ctrl' and clicked the two links to open them in two new tabs. It was safe to say that I had a bulge in my pants while seeing everything up to this point, but now, it was throbbing like crazy, while I was looking at rubber dicks...

Naturally, I became worried again, that there might be some kind of hidden meaning here. I mean, I already liked dressing up as a girl, and now I was getting an erection from looking at huge penises on a computer. However, they _were_ fake, so I couldn't really tell if I should be worried or not. It wasn't like I was suddenly compelled to google 'yaoi' and have my fill of that.

Would I have to come out of the closet to Chie at some point?

Something that should have occurred to me was that not only were they fake, but every time I found one with a new feature, or a couple features, I was more turned on.

I paused a moment. I checked around me again to make sure no one could see. This was not something I should be worried about at this point, if it was truly the case, there wasn't much I could do about it. So I filed the questions in the back of my head, and continued to drool over the wares, yes, drool. No kidding, I had to wipe my lip once.

This was also when my mind began tipping toward getting a part-time job. Oh how I longed for a computer and a credit card~

It was thanks to the dildos that I began fantasizing about using them in all kinds of positions, and more than one, like being pounded in my butt and one being shoved in my mouth, and a few other ways that were creative and stimulating, like two rubbing my nipples while I was being plowed. My most intense fantasy is having six work on me, one for both of my holes, one for each nipple, one for each hand . Maybe even a seventh to have rubbing in between my butt cheeks X3

These fantasies most assuredly led to me actually trying, yup, anal penetration. But, since I didn't have any anal toys or dildos to make use of — being an upstanding, tight laced school student like myself — I found a sharpie marker with a smooth tip and a shaft wide enough that I would notice it going in.

I decided to do it at night. I made sure I used the bathroom before going to bed. When everyone was asleep, I stripped down naked and grabbed the marker from my desk drawer.

Naturally, I was pretty timid about it. My heart was racing. I didn't know what to expect. Before, I had all kinds of thoughts racing through my head, but now, it was quiet and I was focused on what I was doing.

I got down on both knees on my floor. I thought I might want to do it while laying on my back, but this position was good.

I had one hand rested on my thigh, and the other angled under my side with the soft end of the marker pointed up.

" _Here goes_..."

It was a little awkward at first and I kind of wished I had a mirror so I could see everything. I later began using my standing mirror until I could purchase a hand mirror.

The marker poked into one of my butt cheeks and my scrotum and felt kind of awkward at first. I was having trouble finding where my 'entry hole' was located, but I wasn't about to go looking for it with my fingers, though it would have sped things up.

I found it. In comparison to the marker, it was tiny. Another new discovery about my body.

I touched the tip of the marker so it found its place, and already felt pretty aroused. I wedged it in there just a little and braced myself for anything, mostly pain.

Slowly, I pushed it in. It was just a little tight, which I didn't quite understand, until I remembered the stuff that comes out of there isn't as solid as what I was putting in. I thought I might be able to feel the whole thing, but I could mainly feel it in my hole.

"Hmm..."

It actually wasn't half bad~ I mean, I wasn't rolling on my floor in ecstasy, with drool and tears running down my face like in a hentai, but it didn't feel bad.

I tried pushing it further in. It felt good. I moved it around, slowly, and it felt a little different.

After a while of playing with it and letting it sit inside me, getting well acquainted with the sensation, I figured I would call it a night. Masturbating at this point would result in another sensation of overwhelming and depression, so it was best to do it a few more times before committing to that.

My caution has saved me in a few instances here. I later learned about the dangers of inserting items any longer than five to seven inches without working your way up to those, because of the turns involved in the colon. I had a few scares, where I thought I had hurt myself severely, but the pain was temporary, and I didn't notice any issues or changes in my immune system, like illness or intense abdominal pain. I wanted to have fun trying this new thing, but I didn't want to hurt myself.

However, I also learned about the wonders of anal play and anal sex. I learned about the prostate, and how it plays a key role in male orgasm, both anally and manually. If stimulated well enough, the prostate produces an orgasm more intense and beyond anything a male can achieve through standard masturbation. You could say it was masturbation on a more creative and scientific level.

I first learned this, and much later, long after starting my toy collection and purchasing a few anal probes, I learned what it was really like. Amazing~💓

When I did it, I didn't touch my penis once, that was the rule. I remember it so well...I had been wearing a cute pair of black, see-through stockings that stretched up to my thighs. I was also wearing an adorable vanilla green uniform I ordered in the mail. I had taken off the skirt and my panties, so my genitals and the space around my hips and butt were bare. I had laid down on my back, angling up on the balls of my feet, my heels close to my butt cheeks, so my shoulder blades were supporting me, with the probe inside and sticking out from under my scrotum. I loved looking at my legs and my bare parts in that position, and feeling myself all over. I worked that sucker while my erect penis wagged free, feeling this amazing tingling sensation I just wanted to push on more, and suddenly _bam!_ 💓 I made a mess of that cute uniform, my face and my hair x3

I learned that dildos were not as effective as a probe, but they still worked. Besides, after buying a few vibrating bullets, I could attach one or two to my penis with electrical tape if I wanted, which made things more kinky in an odd way, and it pretty much did the work for me while I focused on moving my hips.

It made sense that I should have been able to cum hands-free, because I certainly had enough wet dreams in the past to know that I didn't need to be stroking my penis to have an orgasm.

I had to keep everything well shaved. I had hair, but it wasn't so much that it took time to remove or was noticeable when it was gone. I was pretty thorough, I even removed all the hair around my private areas. _All of it_. I loved the sensation of how smooth everything felt, even the spaces down _there_ felt so smooth. After using a mirror, I noticed how soft everything looked down there, with a nice vanilla shade.

And while I was removing hair everywhere else, I began growing out the hair on my head.

I decided to start growing it out during the winter break of my freshman year. I liked how the wig looked on me, but it seemed pretty cliche and I wanted to be more natural about things. It had started with me wondering what it would be like to have long hair, how it would look on me, how other people would look at me, the care and treatment it needed, and if I would find new comforts and discomforts about it. I already had somewhat long hair, for a boy in a society with most males keeping their hair short. I was concerned about the reaction to it, but at this point I figured, heck with it. It was something I wanted to do, and it was my choice. Plus, it would be a gradual change, so it wasn't like they would notice straight off the bat.

It took me about a year before it was down to my shoulder blades, and another three months before it was to the small of my back. Growing your hair out doesn't take much care at first, depending on how you do it. I washed it like I always did, but eventually wound up having to use a little more shampoo and conditioner than before. The longer it gets, the more you have to deal with split ends, so I still needed to make the now rare trips for a trim.

I view long hair as a unisex thing. I guess most people attribute it to girls only, though you see a lot of male anime protagonists with long hair. There had been a time when both men and women chose to grow their hair any length they wanted, and long hair on guys in feudal Japan was very common.

By the summer of my second year, it was hanging just around my neck, and everyone noticed, and while they're reactions varied, I was getting a lot of enticed looks from the girls! / G-Go me...!

It was actually amazing! Because of my height, my friends were pretty much the only people that noticed me at school. I was so short and plane looking in my usual school uniform, aside from my face, it wasn't hard for most people to pass me up! But change one feature about me, and suddenly I stood out more! I became Ashikaga-san, that short second year with the long hair! xD I kept it tied in a short pony tail and wore my glasses, and for a guy just doing that, I looked pretty cute. Kuroda certainly thought so, and _I swear_ , I thought I would have to kick Taisuke to keep him from humping my leg. Kuroda was pretty irritated with him too.

You see, they had started dating a few months ago at that time. I wouldn't doubt they've done the deed by this point. A lot of people expect some kind of major change in a person after they've had that experience enough times, but there really isn't much of one, at least not from what I can tell. It only means Taisuke knows more than me about girls in that area. However, because of what I had been doing, I knew a bit more about girls than he did, in other areas. If he and Kuroda have done it already, that's an experience they have that I don't, simple as that, I'm not in a rush. I just hope he doesn't do something stupid, like get Kuroda pregnant, we're still in school for crying out loud!

Kuroda even brought up the time everyone tried to get me to try on one of the maid costumes for the school festival, and said with the long hair, I would make a very cute and convincing maid. I loved hearing this and fought to contain myself! Thanks Kuroda! xD Also, it got me wondering if they had more of those maid costumes lying around in storage, but I wasn't desperate enough to go looking.

Later that day, someone else saw me and my new look. Someone whom it never crossed my mind I would run into.

I had been passing through the hall between classes, when she appeared from around a corner across to my right. We just stared at each other a while. Her mouth gaped at me, before it shut and she continued on. There wasn't an exasperated huff or condescending shutting of the eyes as she walked by, she just kept her eyes forward, as if trying to convince herself she hadn't noticed me.

I didn't watch or wait for her, and continued on my own.

Something else I hadn't mentioned before, that I probably should have. I guess I avoided it up 'till now because it caused me some deep grief.

It happened during winter break, and the school didn't hear about it until classes started up again in January.

Kotonoha Katsura, the girl I fell in love with, whom was involved with Makoto Itou and Sekai Saionji, she...she and Sekai murdered Makoto.

It happened at his apartment. None of us know how or why, but I remember hearing the death was bloody and somehow ritualistic.

That word, ritual, stuck out in my head. Because the last time I spoke with Kotonoha, she didn't sound at all like herself. Or more that she sounded exactly like herself, when what I saw should have conjured the same betrayed and terrified emotions out of her. That was when I knew...that the girl I had fallen in love with...was a lie... Maybe her personality had been genuine, but the way she behaved, and knowing that she was involved with scum like Makoto, letting him do whatever he wanted to her, using her like just another toy, I knew that she had either lost her mind, or had been brainwashed...

When I knew that Makoto and Sekai were together in that closet in the library, and I led Kotonoha there to expose them, she had been completely unphased. She had known the entire time, because she and Sekai were so desperate to be with Makoto, they were willing to make themselves his own pets. She had even invited me to join them, which had also been Makoto's intension. He had wanted me to dress as Yuu, so he could do me just like a girl.

It was in that moment, when I stood looking in that doorway, Kotonoha right next to me and smiling, while Makoto was busy pulling Sekai's clothes off right in front of us, thinking he would get to fuck her right in front of us while we waited our turn, I could feel invisible hands clawing at me and trying to pull me inside. I knew, if I stepped through that doorway, my life would be changed forever, and the results would not be good.

I clung to the very moments that passed like my life depended on them, taking one shaky step backward after another, feebly continuing to play my role until I found my window. And then I ran. I ran as if they were right on my tail, wanting to drag me down with them. I ran as fast as I could, until my chest burned. I ran until I was as far away from the campus as I could get. I ran so hard that after I stopped at the bus station, I nearly threw up and could barely contain myself...

That was a year before I heard about the murder, and at the time, it only made sense to me.

Kotonoha and Sekai were arrested and awaiting trial. It was on the news here and there. A month later, the hearings ended. Kotonoha and Sekai were found guilty of premeditated murder, and sentenced to life in a maximum security hospital for the criminally insane.

After learning about this, it was like a break in the whole situation. It only proved my point. Kotonoha and Sekai were not emotionally stable people. It had taken some time for me to wrap my brain around it, after learning the horrible truth, but it was the truth. I didn't know much about Sekai, but I know that Kotonoha was a wonderful person. I think...I think a part of me still longs for her, but I know I can't dwell on it, because that girl I loved, she will never exist. Except in the confines of my mind.

During the winter break, while at dinner, my parents announced to Chie and me that they would be leaving for Kyoto during January. They would be staying away for two years. It had to do with a business investment my dad was involved in. He said they didn't need him to actually travel all the way to Kyoto, but that it would be better if he did. He said he had given it a lot of thought, and that it would be good for him to be away and allow Chie and me some space. I kind of found an obvious flaw in dad's thinking there, but I guess we had been well behaved for long enough that he trusted us. He said it would be a good experience for when we actually moved out of the house. Mom wanted to go with just so she could live in Kyoto for two years, haha, that's just like mom.

He said that he would still be able to send us funds from work, so it wasn't like they wouldn't be taking care of us, we would just be on our own 'half way', which didn't sound bad in my head. Also, they would only be a few hours drive away, so if anything happened and we needed them around, it wouldn't be long before they returned.

Chie faked like she was concerned about it, but really, she was stoked, I could tell. I guess I was the same way a little, though I could play off being the affectionate child better, from years of _actually_ being an affectionate, caring child.

This would be a new way for Chie and myself to grow together, since we had already started, after the mess she helped pull me out of with her care.

It was scary, knowing they wouldn't be around in the morning to greet us, mom with breakfast and dinner ready, or to just talk, but I guess texting and emails remedied that in some ways. Mom talked about sending us recipes through email.

Then dad brought up leaving us with something. Chie belted out immediately that she wanted a car, which conjured a skeptical leer from dad, and an explanation about something within a reasonable price range. This was my chance.

"Could I have a laptop?"

I really didn't have anything else I wanted. If not that, I would have asked for more books, and I already have five I still hadn't read. Plus, I got most everything from the library anyways. I would also be acting on my part-time job plan pretty soon anyway, so it almost didn't matter what I asked for.

"Hmm..." dad rubbed his chin and looked at mom.

"It sounds fine to me," she smiled.

"Alright, just whatever you do, don't go on any gambling sites and run up my bill, kay?" this was mostly a dry joke, followed with a wry smile.

I nodded, "Promise."

"You can use the family desktop to look up a good model. Make sure it's recent, I want you to have a good one, but make it under fifty-thousand yen, and we can pick it up tomorrow if you'd like."

I wouldn't have had it any other way! xD

We kept the family PC in the living room, and while on my way, after handing over the plates to mom, Chie stopped me.

I was already beginning to feel sentimental, knowing that our days with mom and dad were numbered before we wouldn't be able to see them at all. Just handing mom my dishes, knowing it would only be so many times before I would no longer be doing that for a while, had me feeling a bit sad, so it didn't help when Chie whispered to me—

"Don't worry lil' bro, I've got dad's password for the parental locks. I gotcha' covered~" and winked.

' _Come on sis! Can't you see I'm feeling a little emotional right now?!_ ' T_T

I didn't flip on her like I usually did, but simply nodded a "Yeah."

I knew it was only half of a tease. Honestly, I was very happy to hear that from her. I had completely forgotten about the parental blocks. It was good to know Chie was on my side, as mischievous as she could be.

She patted me on the shoulder and that was it.

I found the exact model I had been looking for.

Today it's a bit outdated, even if it has been two years, but it did me a lot of good around that time. Man technology advances fast.

It was a DiLL Horizon 5824a, with 4g of RAM, a XX Punteum Processor and a 500gb hard drive. I later bought a 1tb external hard drive, the hard drive I mentioned earlier, because I discovered how much I needed it. You could say after I found some really good hentai and doujin sites, with convenient download options, and began looking up images of my favorite heroines, I went a little hog wild... ~/~ That and the hard drive kept all my private stuff separated so I wouldn't get severely uncomfortable if someone asked to use my laptop.

After I finally had my precious laptop, the whole world opened up for me. I created a specific folder and gave it an indiscriminate name. Well I certainly wasn't going to call it 'Yuuki's Otokonoko, Sex Toy and Hentai Files'.

I made...so many sub-folders in that thing. You can pretty much guess what all I put in it, but aside from hentai, I had _lots_ of 'shopping list' folders. I found measurements and made plans on checking for the things I wanted to wear. I even planned to get things like hard drive maintenance and virus protection software, because I did run into a few things that freaked me out and I was seriously afraid my precious, brand new laptop had contracted some kind of internet herpes.


	3. Chapter 3

**WARNING! ADULT CONTENT 18+ ONLY. NSFW. ALL CHARACTERS ARE OVER 18.**

 **Chapter 3**

By the end of the second week in January, mom and dad were all packed and ready to leave. I bid them a somber goodbye, trying to contain my emotion. Chie even seemed like she was holding back tears herself, but after they left, she perked up immediately.

"C'mon Yuuki~! Let's get something to eat! I'll buy, but we're going to my favorite place."

Ohara Sweets...which meant Kuroda would be there, and Chie would give her the whole story.

I wonder if she was just being this way to cheer me up. She was pretty good at concealing her emotions. With Kotonoha in an asylum and mom and dad now gone, this was all getting just a little heavy on my heart.

No doubt, the house would have a lot of Chie's friends in it for the next couple days, and no doubt there would be sleepovers. Ever feel like the strange younger brother when you walk into the living room to find high school girls crashed on the couch _and_ the floor? Yeah...

I wonder if Chie tried to get _her_ to come over again, but received an earnest 'no'...

I had friends over too, but we weren't as rowdy as Chie's group. Kuroda and Taisuke stopped by once to see how we were doing. It wasn't anything outside of casual and they even asked if I wanted to go shopping with them. I said sure, I didn't mind tagging along with them if they were offering, and the checking account I had set up was already healthy and strong. I had already started my part-time job and quit my job in the school library. If sexual health didn't convince you as a positive influence behind any person that enjoys dressing up and using sex toys, getting an honest job so they can fund their pleasures would be the next best thing. My hair wasn't significantly long by this point, but it was at a good start. It also didn't seem to bother the people that hired me for the city library I currently work at.

After a week or two like this, things began to simmer down. Soon, Chie's and my days at home were pretty regular without mom and dad around.

It was early February, on a no school day.

I had something that I contemplated doing ever since learning that mom and dad were going to be gone for two years. And I figured...today was the day to do it...and I was scared.

Chie had been sitting at the dining table that morning, which was something she did even when mom and dad were home. With a cup of hot tea and toast with egg, she was engrossed in a fashion magazine.

I couldn't feel my fingers when I opened my door to step in the hall. I really couldn't hear all that well, because the pounding in my chest was canceling everything else out. I walked slowly to the opening of the dining room and stopped, considering that I didn't really have to do this, that there could be another way, or that maybe I could just keep it to myself...

My knees were literally shaking under my skirt...

I steeled myself, took a deep breath, and stepped out.

I don't know if she noticed at all, even when I pulled the chair out and sat down, across the table from her. Her eyes still remained on the magazine, one side of it rolled, her chin rested easily on the plain of her other hand. She didn't notice at all!

Something must have stood out in her peripheral, because without a jerk, she froze, and her head slowly raised until her eyes met with mine. It was a look of obvious surprise.

I was sitting in front of my sister, in the very school uniform I had worn to pass myself off as Yuu, the very school uniform I wore to pass myself off as a girl, _Chie's_ old school uniform, and the peach wig. I knew I looked like a girl in every way, because I had worn the uniform plenty of times in a private setting up to this point.

I'm sure I looked anything but optimistic, which wasn't what I hoped for.

I was so stiff. My fingers tensed around the skirt in my hands. My face was burning. I could feel sweat under my collar.

 _It's too late! I knew it! This was a bad idea! I should've never done this! Sis is gonna call me a transient freak and then scold me and maybe tell mom and dad and then I'll never be able to live this down and then they'll want to put me in a mental institution my life is over OH MY GOD!_ /

If anything...if I panicked at all...I could say 'Just kidding~! Haha~! Got eeeet~!'

Chie blinked and continued to stare at me for what seemed like ages.

Then in one smooth, calm motion, she rested the magazine on the table surface and placed her chin back on her hand, with a smirk.

"Hmm...I seem to remember seeing that particular uniform from somewhere..."

"Mmm..." I scrunched my shoulders and lowered my whimpering face. I was dying. ~

The thigh socks on my legs felt really hot now, I could feel the cotton collecting sweat. The inside of the uniform's top was feeling a little damp too.

I knew I was setting myself up for crippling embarrassment. I was expecting Chie to thump me on the head like she usually did and tell me to start dressing and acting like a man.

"So 'Yuu'~ did you steal that uniform somehow from our storage? Did Yuuki let you in and convince you it was okay if you borrowed it~?"

I barely noticed that I had sat down in a very feminine pose, legs together, knees forward, hands planted on my thighs.

"Speaking of which, where is Yuuki? You didn't sneak in last night and share a _special moment_ with him, did you~?"

She was definitely messing with me, but I didn't have the gal or presence of mind to play along in even the slightest.

"I'm...I'm not Yuu...n-not anymore..." I forced out.

"Oh really~? Yuuki told me you were such a quiet girl, I never thought you to be the imaginative type. But I guess the quiet ones tend to be that way. So what should I call you now? Is it a fantasy name? Is 'Queen of the Galaxy' in the title?"

"I'm...it's me..."

"Oh! Where are my manners? You just got here, didn't you?" she stood. "Was it a long walk? You must be famished. Would you like some tea? I can get you something to eat too, if you'd like. I'm sure Yuuki's just waking up, I'll go tell him you're here."

"It's me, dammit!"

Suddenly, Chie placed her hands flat on the table, quaking, with her eyes shut tight and teeth grit.

I braced myself for the worst, "Chie...?"

" _BAH!_ _HAHAHA~!_ "

"It's me sis! Seriously!"

Chie grabbed her gut, " _I know, ya dork!_ _Hahaha!_ "

"Wh-What?! This is not a time to be laughing!"

" _Yes!~hehe~Yes it is!~ha~It's-It's the perfect time~hhhhh~Ahahahaha!~_ "

"I fail to see what's so funny about this!" I frowned at her.

" _I fail to see how you don't! You were so convincing, I thought one of your crazy friends had broken into our house! Hehehe~!_ "

I was no longer scared, more like pissed. But I was still shaking from freaking out...

After Chie managed to collect herself, more or less, she flopped back into her chair, exhausted and wiping happy tears from her eyes.

"Whoo~ thank you for saying something~" Then her face scrunched into another snicker. " _kggh~_ I didn't know how much longer I could keep that up before exploding... _pfff~!_ "

"Hey, c'mon now!"

"Okay~okay~...I'm done... _I think_... _kgghhh~_ "

I was seriously regretting this. After the talk we'd had, after telling her everything, I thought she would be more understanding. I should have expected this...

"Done now?"

She was panting and leaning into her hand like it was her only support, " _Heeh~phoo~...You've done it Yuuki_... _I think you finally broke me_... _hehe~_ "

Right now, everything felt screwed up. I felt like there really might be something wrong with me for wanting to try this.

I stared down at the table, expecting her to say something crude next, "I just wanted to show you..."

She stood again, "Well, you have. I gotta say, I'm impressed. I can see why that kid got so grabby with you. Ma...Makoto? Was that him? He's dead now, isn't he?"

"Yes and um...thank you?"

Chie grabbed her mug and stepped into the kitchen, but continued to talk.

"So, are you saying that you discovered something in yourself after wearing that?"

"I...I think so, but it's probably not what you're thinking."

"I guess there are only so many things that can suggest."

I heard the pouring of tea from the kettle. Chie returned.

She had her mug in hand, but set one of mom's fine china tea cups and a saucer down in front of me!

With a gaping mouth of indignation, I stared at it and then looked up at her, thoroughly irked.

Her lips were wavy as she tried to hold in another banter of laughter ^~^ " _You look like a dainty little aristocrat girl~_ "

"Chie!"

After more of her cackling, she followed this up with, "Aristocrats can be pretty saucy in private. Can you be saucy, Yuuki~?"

"Could you at least _try_ to take this somewhat seriously?"

"Well, you have to know, when you dress a certain way, people are going to treat you a certain way."

"Yeah, I think I already do, thank you very much."

"True, true. So, you came out here hoping I wouldn't flip my lid, right? It honestly doesn't bother me."

...a...amazing...

My hands clenched together as I couldn't fight the chills running down my arms, nor did I want to.

"You...you really think so...?"

"Yeah, sure."

"I also wanted to say...that...I...I like it..."

"Makes sense, or else you wouldn't be doing it."

"You don't think it's weird?"

"Hm? Of course I think it's weird."

Ugh...that's just like sis to be so blunt...

She was smiling that light, fox smile of hers at me. It told me she was enjoying this, but had no true intension of harm.

"Wh-What if...I told you...I wanted to do it more...?"

She didn't answer me right off, and I found myself thinking the worst again.

Chie took a sip from her mug and planted her chin again, in thought.

I took the cup and saucer before me instinctively, lifting the china to my lips. Before I realized what I was doing, I could see sis was watching me closely with a mischievous smirk. I tried to ignore it and held the cup and saucer with what little poise I could muster, feeling the china clink once from how shaky my hands were.

Then finally, she said, "I suppose that's alright."

I felt immediate relief! "S-Seriously?! You're okay with it?!"

"Yeah, sure, I have no problem with it. It will take some getting used to. Need me to buy you tampons and ice cream for that time of the month?"

I felt my spine flaring up, "Sh-Shut up!"

She chuckled, "However, you're going to have a few obstacles to overcome if you're going to be dressing like that everyday. I realize you're doing this now because mom and dad aren't home anymore, but what will you do if I have friends over? Or if you have friends over for that matter? Though how often do you even have friends over, let's be honest~"

"Don't be mean."

"See?! You're even starting to talk like a girl! That is _so cute~!_ "

"Urk!"

"I think I can get used to this~" she eyed me with amusement. "But seriously, what would you do if I suddenly showed up with a group of friends? You can't expect me to text you ahead of time whenever I'm bringing company. And them seeing you like this would ruin things for both of us."

"Well, it wouldn't take me long to change. I'll just not wear makeup. Girls only wear it when they're going out, right?"

"You're learning already, good for you lil' bro~ ^^ Though we don't just wear it while going out. Some of us like to spruce up at home because we want to experiment, and because we like to. You should give it a try, I'll help!" ^w^

"Sorry, but no thanks, I can't see you doing that...it's just too weird."

"Please, I insist! This isn't a prank, I really want to! It'll be fun!" Her face was really bright, Chie was actually happy about this.

"Yeah..." I played with my skirt. I guess I didn't mind it...and why go to an internet reference when I had an experienced makeup artist right in front of me, "Okay...I guess..."

"So, what do we do about this?"

"Um, I dunno, I haven't gotten that far..."

"More worried about what I would say, eh? I gotcha. So how about we come up with a plan of evasion, and a worst case scenario response?"

"You sure you want to do that? After hearing what you have to say about it, I'd feel more comfortable just not doing it so you can have some peace of mind."

"Aww, you're so sweet~ Look at my lil' bro, lookin' out for me. I'm sure you'll make one lucky guy very happy someday~" she winked at me.

"Grrr..."

"Yuuki..." she sounded a little serious this time, "You Only Live Once. This is a crazy life with loads of crazy people. It's a life worth experiencing and doing the things you enjoy doing. If this is something you enjoy, whether it be a fetish, a hobby, or a way of life, you should get to experience it to your heart's content. Maybe you'll eventually get tired of it and go back to your old way of doing things, or maybe this is a lifelong change for you, I can't say. But what matters is that you want to do it, and you're doing it right now. That takes guts, lil' bro..." she smiled a gentle smile at me that was a mix of assurance and pride.

In all my life, I never thought that my sister Chie would be proud of me. What's more, proud of me for dressing like a girl, of all things. But I realized in that moment that that wasn't specifically what she was proud of me for. It was because I was taking a chance on something _I_ wanted to do.

She rested her hands on the table and looked me in the eyes, "It took guts for you to do what you did for those girls, even if it fell apart in the end. It took guts for you to do what you did for Roka, rescuing her from that dead rapist creep. And it took guts for you to walk out here like this, when your better judgment was probably telling you to just keep it a secret. No matter how you dress and carry yourself, you're one hell of a man. And I don't doubt you'll always try to do what's right. I can say more about my girly, crossdressing little brother than I can about most of the brawny morons I've dated."

I tucked my chin down. I could barely hold in the tears, figuring she'd make another crack that I was acting like a girl again, which I guess I didn't mind so much anymore.

"I'm just happy you're not sniffing panties you stole off a clothesline, like some people."

And she had to go and ruin it =_=

She giggled, "Besides, you've always been so mild mannered, I think it's about time you did something a little crazy~ But my idea is about all I can think of for now in this situation, and you need a cover for when you're not prepared."

"Oh man, this is going to be cutting it close..." I fidgeted and winced, squeezing my hands between my legs.

"So how about I say you're my cousin from out of town and your name is Yuu?"

"That's too close for comfort, can't you pick a different name from the one I used before?"

"Nope, I need one I can remember easily~"

"Figures..." =_= "But I don't sound anything like a girl."

"Mmm, I wouldn't say that..."

My fists clenched, "You're going to say something crude and mean again, aren't you?"

"Chill, I'm just saying your voice has some higher tones that you can make use of. You don't exactly sound like some big macho samurai from TV. It could be an age thing."

"I'm still not comfortable with it..."

"Practice makes perfect~ But for now, I'll say you're my cousin Yuu from out of town." Her voice drifted into melodrama, "And that you were in a horrible car accident when you were very little, that took away your ability to speak~"

"I think they call that Broca's Aphasia."

"I'll explain you're my super smart cousin Yuu from out of town, with Broca's—"

"Alright!"

"I could buy you a cute little choker with a heart on it, to symbolize your loss of speech. So cute and romantic~ " she was blushing and getting a little wistful while saying this. I get the feeling Chie always wanted a little sister she could dote on, which would explain why she was having so much fun with this.

"How will you explain the real me not being home?" I asked.

"Elementary, my dear Yuu!"

"Not funny..."

"I'll just say you're at the arcade or, I dunno, sometimes I don't know where you're at, so I'll just tell 'em, 'I dunno', ya know?"

I frowned, "Yeah...sounds like you've got a fool proof plan there, sis..." =_=

"It'll work out, it's not like this situation's going to happen everyday. It's worst case scenario, remember?"

I sighed, "Okay, I hope you're right..."

"However, we have to figure things will get complicated if that happens. First of all, if my friends show up unexpectedly, and we do end up having to use your cover, you cannot, under any circumstances, enter your own room, that would be way too suspicious."

"But what if I have stuff out I need to hide?"

That mischievous smile aimed its way at me again, "Ohhh~ am I to suspect there's more to this than just the clothing~ "

"Th-That's not important right now!"

"Oookaay~ if you say so~" =3

She seemed more entertained than ever.

"If you have things sitting out in your room, like clothes or any _other_ items..." she winked at me and I felt sick to my stomach. "I suggest you take any chance you can to rush in there and hide them, or just keep your door closed."

I had not bought any of _those_ items yet, but it was in the making. And I certainly didn't feel comfortable telling her _that_.

"However, know that once my friends have their eyes on you, you won't have much chance to escape, so tug on my sleeve or come up with some kind of signal that you need to use the bathroom. Keiko and Rei get really drooly and googly eyed over cute siblings, and if they found out I had a cute cousin with any kind of physical disability, they wouldn't leave me alone until they got to visit and learn more about you. You pass as a lolita sister type, so that makes things even more difficult."

" _I do not!_ "

"On the contrary _little_ bro, you are _little._ You're lolita- _ish_ anyways, which is enough, and that flat chest of yours gives you more power than you think."

"I'll wear pads! I did before!"

"No sense fixing something that isn't broken. Most guys really love big boobs, but they just don't get it. Every size has its own appeal. Most girls know this, at least, once they mature."

I left my chest flat to reduce that kind of attention, but from what sis was telling me, it didn't matter either way!

"Yup, you have to face it lil' bro, you actually make one adorable little sister, but don't feel so down. I say, if you got it, flaunt it~" ;P

I _was_ feeling a little down, but truthfully, all of this sort of made me feel better. Yet again, Chie was on my side, somehow...

I raised my head from processing all this, "You're really going out of your way just so I can have this...even if it means risking the Ashikaga reputation..."

"C'mon, you don't seriously think I'm a prude like you, do you? It's something you want to do, you should have that freedom, but with the way things are, you don't have much freedom to do it. It's not like you're selling drugs or joining a street gang, then I _would_ say something. I'm just looking out for you, I know you'd do the same. You definitely did it for my kouhai and that other girl," she smiled.

That was Chie, living life on the edge.

"It's exciting~ I was afraid things would eventually get boring around here with mom and dad gone, so this really spices up my situation too, ya know?"

I felt so much more at ease now and was wondering if this was something that I really wanted to do, now that I had tested the waters and found there was nothing to be afraid of. I guess it didn't really matter either way, if I decided to continue or not, it was really up to me.

"I've only ever heard about otokonoko before, but never really learned much about them. I don't think I've run into any before, unless they were as convincing as you and I just didn't notice. Honestly, you're my very first encounter, so I guess this is my chance to finally get to know one," she folded her fingers. "So what's it like? Does it make you feel a certain way? Is it erotic, or do you feel like a girl trapped in a guy's body?"

I lowered my head, my bangs covering my eyes.

"Sheesh Yuuki, you're so uptight, even as a girl~" Chie kidded.

I lifted my head, "Well, you behave pretty masculine for a girl."

"Yeah, I suppose ya got me there."

"You were always the active, outgoing one. You play two sports and you basically talk like a guy. Plus, you've always been bigger than me..."

"Yeah, while you're all tiny, always keeping to yourself and reading books."

"However...I don't know if any of those things have much to do with gender or sexuality..."

"No, I guess not. I mean, lots of guys write books, and girls have been playing sports for a long time."

"It...it's more just because I want to. It makes me feel different...in a good way."

"Okay."

I had to be honest, even if it freaked her out...

"And...it's erotic too! Please don't kill me!" I jerked my head down gravely.

The gritty, snorting noise coming from Chie's nose made me raise my head again quickly.

She was holding in another laugh!

" _BAHAHAHAHA!_ "

" _What the hell, Chie!_ "

" _Whoo! That's rich!_ "

" _I'm being serious!_ "

" _I KNOW! THAT'S WHY IT'S SO FUNNY!_ " xD Tears were spilling out of her eyes. "'I'm turned on by wearing clothes that turn me on, please don't kill me Chie~!'" she mocked me between her belts. " _Ahahahaha~!_ "

 _BAMP!-BAMP!-BAMP!-BAMP!_

This was Chie smacking her fist on the table top, while I just sat by and watched.

I guess her reaction was practical to a degree, and it made sense, but I was still feeling regret for some reason.

Chie's face was hidden by her arm now, and I could see her shoulder blades rising and falling.

"Hee!...hee hee!..." these came out between heavy gasps of air. When they withered away, she tried to talk between the gasping, "Yuuki...I know I don't normally ask you to do this...but it looks like today is a first time for a lot of things...so could you stop reacting the way you usually do to my jabs...or else I'm pretty certain you're going to kill me..."

"I don't do it intentionally!"

"Then I'll make you a deal...I'll try not to say anything...but even if I do...you have to promise you won't react..."

"Um...fair enough?"

"Though if you don't...I may still lose it..."

Maybe the way I looked was also making her a little giddy.

"Phew...this was a good morning pick me up..." she lifted her head lazily from her arm, her face was a little red, "Yuuki...I think we can agree that I beat you up for a number of stupid things, right?"

"Yeah, I would say they're not entirely stupid, more like you overreact."

"Okay...let's agree to disagree... First of all...I don't care what you do in your private time... I just ask that you don't do anything absent minded or stupid... This," she wagged a finger up and down at my outfit, and muffled a snicker, "is not something stupid..."

"But it's weird."

"It is, but weird doesn't always mean stupid. Unless you go running around raising your skirt and flashing random strangers...that would be pretty stupid..."

"Why would I do th—"

" _Stop, stop_..." she raised a finger and lowered her face, quivering.

"Oh, s-sorry..."

"Ts-okay...I'm okay..." she exhaled audibly and raised her blush at me again. "If you had answered yes to the other one I mentioned...about being a girl trapped in a guy's body...I would have wanted to talk with you about that instead..."

"They call it gender dis—"

"Shut up."

"Yes sis..."

"But because you were honest with me...that it was for erotic reasons...and I can tell it was scary for you..."

"But—"

" _Sh!_ "

My mouth was shut.

"I know you think it freaks me out, and while it's weird to have your brother suddenly confess a fetish to you, I guess it's better than you getting all worried over nothing and not being able to have your fun. You could say that I know a little about kinks, and I know most kinks shouldn't be something people worry about. People can't help it when they gravitate towards something, it's like having a favorite flavor of ice cream or a favorite TV show..."

Wow, sis actually made sense when she bothered to offer a full explanation...

"Honestly, before this, I was worried that you might be an alien or something for a while there. You were such a quiet, goody-two-shoes, I almost didn't expect you to actually be into something like this. I mean...you came to me with your heroic story, and that was amazing by itself, and then after that, things just got quiet again for you, so I was wondering 'what gives?'"

I turned my head up shyly, "Well, I may have seemed quiet to you, but there's been a lot going on in my head."

"I can see that now. This is a major change," she smiled at me, "But I welcome it~"

Even though I felt like Chie spent a lot of this time poking fun and laughing at me, I had never realized how much we were bonding from all this. It didn't even phase her that I had a fetish. We were talking about private stuff that I'm pretty sure few siblings ever talked about, but how would I know, it's private.

"Besides, you're showing me a secret of your own, so I imagine it's only fair if I tell you one of mine..."

I was reluctant to ask, but since I had shown her mine, I was curious, "What is it?"

"Mm-mm," she smiled and placed a finger on her lips. "You'll know in time, if your patient."

Now she's just taking advantage of me again...

"Of course, no matter what clothes you wear, or how cute you look in them, you'll always be my little brother..."

I couldn't stop the warm sensation that embraced my heart in that very moment. She didn't just see the clothes I was wearing, she saw the person underneath, and everything else about him.

A shy smile had spread itself over my face, "Thanks sis..."

"However, I do have another condition."

"What is it?"

She pointed to the uniform again, "That was _my_ uniform at one time, and it technically still is. I don't know where you found it, or where you got the panties you're wearing - _you had better be wearing panties under there..._ "

"Y-Yes sis, I am..."

Chie was showing her scary face. The one that demands you look it in the eye. Actually, I couldn't look away...

" _And they're not mine?_ "

"N-n-no! Of course not!"

" _Then where, pray tell, did you get them?_ "

Every fiber of my body was shaking, " _A-A store!_ I got them from a store. Please don't make me say how, it's too much..." /

"Alright..." the dark aura disappeared and she lowered her finger. "Good! You saved yourself from a smackdown there." ^_^ "Anyways, my little brother walking around the house in my old clothes is something else I'll need to get used to."

"I-If you want it back, I can go to my room and change right now."

"No need, I have a better solution..." she smiled.

"Wh-what is it?"

"We're going shopping~!"

"We...?"

"Yup, _we_ are going shopping."

"Oh okay..." I smiled lightly, feeling uncomfortable at the same time. "I'll just go get changed."

"No you're not."

"I'm not?"

"Why change clothes when the one's you're wearing are perfect?"

I panicked.

I bolted up out of my seat, "B-But, wait, are you kidding?!"

Chie merely leered up at me, "Do I look like I'm kidding?"

"We can't do that! _I_ can't do that!"

"Yes you can, and you are."

I could feel the uncomfortable sweats returning, "No! I never wanted to go out in public like this in the first place! That wasn't my motive!"

"So?"

" _Privacy, Chie! Privacy!_ "

"Mhm, I caught that part the first twenty times you mentioned it."

" _Erotic privacy, Chie! Weird, bizarre, erotic privacy!_ "

"Uh-huh, we all have one of those."

"Please don't make me go out there, not like this!"

Chie attempted a calming tone, "Yuuki, sit down, or you're going to hyperventilate."

Instead, I left my chair and was pacing around the dining area, the wig and my skirt bouncing, "Can't I just order some stuff off the internet? I have a computer now."

"Can I guess that's the reason why you asked for it in the first place?"

"Yes, and the reason why I got my job..." I continued pacing, not mindful of her.

"Wow~ Go lil' bro~ I can see this affecting you in a lot of good ways~"

"Well, I don't feel that way _now!_ "

"You can try ordering stuff off the internet, and that's okay for the future, but going out and buying clothes is an experience I think you should get used to," she said simply. "Besides, sometimes what you order doesn't turn out to fit as well as you would have liked it. And this is a good way to get a set idea of what your numbers are."

"N-no, this is moving too fast, I'm not prepared!"

"Well-well~ aren't you the timid little mouse. Want to stay locked up inside your castle? Dreaming of the days when you used to frolic in the fields with your childhood companions~?"

I frowned, "Don't go there..."

"You went out dressed exactly like this before, right? A few times, if I remember how you told me."

"Wh-what if I gave you my measurements, a-a-and you can go out and get them for me! I know we have some taylor's tape somewhere around here..."

"Yuuki, it's time to come out of your little bubble of denial and face it."

"What if I just got changed and went as myself and you went in there to get me something?"

"I'm already paying for the clothes, _this time~_ " She stood and walked directly over to me. "You are coming with me, dressed as Yuu, and you're going to behave like the cute, mute little sister I know you to be~"

My feminine side must have been catching on more by this point, because in the midst of Chie's looming shadow, I could only manage letting out a debilitated squeak.

" _Eep_..."

Shopping with Chie had been one of my many ultimately nervous experiences of the New Year. I had many, but I think this one was within the top three. I was surprised she even wanted to be seen with me out in public like this.

To make the uniform I was wearing less conspicuous, Chie decided to leave everything on me, save for the red ribbon. The red ribbon signified me as a Sakakino Student, and though we were in our school term, it was a Sunday, so there was no school today.

It was very chilly out, and there were still patches of snow everywhere, so Chie _actually dragged me into her room_ and began rummaging around in her closet!

I was in Chie's room... I _never_ went inside Chie's room... _Ever_... She would have killed me if she ever caught me in here, despite always invading my privacy and never knocking during our whole lives. I guess I could have taken this as a new sign of a closer bond between us, but I think it had more to do with he new discovery that her brother was more fem than she expected, which meant a greater deal of trust as far as personal space...

She found a light blue sweater for me to wear on top of everything. It had a puffy neckline that was additional fabric rolled over top itself, long sleeves, and a hem at the bottom that hung over my hip line and the skirt.

The sweater's neckline may have looked loose on her, but it was practically falling off me! One side of it kept wanting to hang over one shoulder or the other. Chie said that was half the idea, that it was sexy, and shoved me in front of her dressing mirror. I had to admit, she was right...

"It's missing something... Hmm...I'm going to regret this, but..."

She fished into another drawer and pulled out, much to my fear, one of her white bras.

"I can't! I can't! You said—!"

"If you don't have a bra strap sticking out while your neckline is slipping, people are going to know you're not wearing a bra and think you're a slut!"

I guess this was another lesson she wanted to teach me. She was enjoying this way to much...

"It's too big! I don't have boobs! I can't fit that!"

That thing had some big cups on it...

"Hmm, you're right...we can adjust the straps, but a bra with nothing to fill it will look funky, even under a loose sweater... Do you still have those pads?"

"They'd be too small, I only used them to create an impression of breasts, I wasn't worried about size, so they're practically fall out of your—"

"Did my kid brother just use a roundabout way of telling me I have big boobs...?"

O/O " _N-n-n-no, th-th-that's not that I meant!_ "

"Chill, I'm thinking..." she clearly only meant that to get at me again, but had forgotten and currently had a knuckle against her lips.

I just stood there, feeling like the most awkward younger sibling on the planet at that very moment...

She stared at the undergarment intently before her head perked up immediately, "I got it!"

She rushed out of the room, leaving me to stand there, looking over the sweater in contemplative silence, wondering if things were working out just a little too well for me and hoping something terrible wasn't just around the corner.

Chie returned with a roll of elastic bandages, the kind used to wrap foot, leg and arm injuries, and a bag of cotton balls.

"We wrap this around your chest with these over your breasts!" She didn't miss a beat and was already talking like I was her little sister dealing with breast envy. "Not too tight, because we want it to stick out some, but this should do. I don't think it will ruin the bra, but that's an old one I've been thinking about tossing with the rest anyways..."

You might be thinking that this was headed in a very strange direction, but Chie gave me my privacy so I could attach the 'fake breasts' myself. She had not forgotten I was still a boy.

Once I was ready, she grabbed her purse and I put my usual wallet inside one of my skirt pockets.

We stepped outside, " _Cold_..." my legs bowed involuntarily with my knees together.

"Yup, get used to it lil' bro~" Chie winked at me with a grin. "Us chicks have to deal with it a lot. It's the price for wanting to look good~"

The thigh-high socks only kept my legs _relatively_ warm, and the parts of my thighs the socks weren't covering were completely exposed to the cold, even though my skirt hung over them. I could feel them breaking out in goosebumps. My panties barely did anything to keep my butt and nether regions warm. Other than the top of the uniform and the sweater sort of keeping my torso and arms warm, everything below was shivering!

"Come on, a good brisk walk keeps your blood flowing. And you might feel a little warmer if you shake your ass while you walk~ You could catch a few eyes too~" ;3

We walked to the train station and got off at one of the nearby market squares. It was one that even I knew had a mess of different women's clothing outlets. Chie said that if anyone recognized us, that we would go with my cover, but also that I should suspect they will tag along with us. She said not to speak to her at all while out in public, because anyone who knew her and saw us speaking together wouldn't buy the 'my cousin is a mute' story.

She took me to a store that sported a lot of casual wear.

The _very first thing_ she bought me was that stupid choker with a heart she had been talking about! We must have spent an entire ten minutes or more, just at that counter!

She kept grabbing chokers and holding them up to my neck, while making me hold the strands of the wig back behind my shoulders. She picked up one that had been pink with diamonds all over it, which were obviously glass, considering the price.

"Mm, not your style and too gaudy..."

Then she picked up one that was white, about an inch in width, and had a white heart attachment that stood out independently on the borders of the collar.

"Perfect, it suits your caring nature and pure heart~ "

After buying it, she actually stopped to put it on for me, and made sure the heart was adjusted to the left side of my neck.

We didn't leave the place yet and I think she actually wanted to just go through the trouble of buying the choker so I would have it on me while we continued shopping.

"I know you're not going to be going a lot for a while, but we need to find you some day clothes when you do. For now, it's just in case you need to head out, or if we do this again."

We were going to be doing this again!?

While there, she grabbed a pair of khaki short-shorts, two pairs of fitted jeans, three skirts, one black, but with different pleats from the Sakakino skirt, a plaid red-black one with pink hearts along the hem — that I picked out with sheer embarrassment written all over my face — and a light blue one.

"You're going to need more underwear, I assume what you're wearing is all you have?"

I nodded nervously, and with anticipation of what was next.

She bought me three bags of panties! One that had generic stripped ones, one that had flat colors, with three pairs of pure white with little pink ribbons, and one with friggin' character print on them!

I could tell she was taking advantage of the fact I couldn't talk and glared at her.

"Oh come on, it'll be cute~!" ^_^

I might be little, but I'm not a kid!

I was mostly concerned about shirts and tops. Even though I could look like a girl, my chest was pretty much my most masculine quality. I tugged her shirt sleeve and Chie let out a little hum, probably on the brink of erupting in coos of adoration. It really made her excited to have a quiet, shy younger sister on her arm.

After finding a way to explain my concerns with absolutely no words at all, she explained.

"Most cotton tees are flexible in that area, so they're flat. Unless if you're really huge up there, then you need to buy in the large sizes, but for a girl your size, it's no big."

She bought me a few cotton t-shirts with decals on them, and two thin cotton long sleeves with stripes on the sleeves.

Next stop was socks, because I guess she sensed I enjoyed wearing them.

Size was not much of an issue here.

"See anything you like?"

There were so many! Apart from some really flashy, poka dotted ones and some really erotic looking ones, I decided to go with simple and cute this time. I could order stuff like the mesh and fishnet stockings some other time so Chie would be less likely to know. So for thigh-highs, I picked a black pair with a diamond pinstripe design along the sides, a pair of blue-white striped ones, plane white ones, and a pair with big hearts near the top seems and on the feet for some reason.

Chie was giving me an odd smile and I froze up, wondering if there was something I was doing wrong. I should've figured there was some kind of process to these things with girls.

"Your tastes are sort of all over the place, but that's just cause you're new to this. I get that you want to try everything and find what you like best."

After she said this, I felt a little better, and so, with a deep red face, I grabbed some pink and white knee high socks too, with prints on them. I grabbed them because I had seen solo-cam videos of porn stars wearing similar ones...

Chie's lips got wavy again as she was holding in another laugh, but she didn't say anything.

In passing the bra section, she stopped, "Don't suppose you'll need any of these~" ;3

I fumed at her, steam rising from my head.

On our way to the dressing rooms, Chie stopped to look over some hair bands and accessories. She grabbed a hair pin that had a while bow on it and held it to a part of the wig.

"Oh yeah, we are definitely getting this."

She made me continue looking, so I picked out a bag with various strands of ribbon inside, and Chie grabbed two hair bands.

I found the dressing rooms quite appealing, even if there were other girls there that were total strangers. But it was comforting, knowing I could try on clothes without anyone seeing.

"Do they fit okay?" Chie asked suddenly.

How was I supposed to answer this!? We were in a public place!

I was too short to be able to raise my hand over the barricade of the door, so I had to jump in order to initiate a thumbs up.

Chie was sharp, but then she was a girl. Everything fit me perfectly! xD

"Just put on what you like, rip the tags off and we'll take them to the register."

I didn't want to stand out too much, so I picked the khaki shorts, the black diamond thigh-high socks, and one of the long sleeves. It was a relief to be able to remove the bandages from around my chest, and Chie's bra...

I was concerned it would stand out that I had a flat chest, but the fabric seemed to hang loose enough, and when I stepped out, Chie looked me over and didn't notice anything that stood out.

"Ya look good!" ^_^ "I'll take _those_ ," she practically yanked her old Sakakino skirt, socks and bra out of my hands, seeming very protective. And then she produced the bow hairpin, "But you're wearing this. I won't accept a no."

Dammit! I couldn't argue with her...

Then it was off to the registers. Chie payed for everything, and I couldn't help but wonder if this would come back to bite me one day, with her asking a favor of me.

We stepped out of the shop and I began walking in the direction of the train station. After a few steps, I noticed Chie wasn't with me.

She was standing by the entrance of the shop, watching me.

"We're not done yet."

What!? But we just bought enough clothes to suit me for half a year! I had more panties now than I could ever imagine owning!

"There's a really nice nightwear place just a block from here, I want to check it out. We can get you a few things there."

Nightwear? Just what did that imply!?

"C'mon _sis_ , the day isn't done yet~" she winked.

I guess this was what shopping was like for girls. Guys were more about one stop and getting it over with in one swing. I guess I still thought very much like a guy, which was sort of a comfort.

I was concerned that wearing the clothes would conjure certain _sensations_ in me, which would cause a reaction...ya know...down there, and that it would be fairly obvious, gross and embarrassing, but I managed to keep calm. As long as we were moving, I didn't have time to think about it because I was so focused on everyone else around me, so nothing happened, thankfully.

I kept really close to Chie the entire time, brushing behind her arm.

She giggled, "You're just like a timid little sister~"

I appreciated the complement, but it didn't help. And then she leaned back.

"Everyone's looking at you..." she whispered to me with a smile in her tone.

This was just like in one of those slice of life, romance animes with a character that has amnesia, where the protagonists take a mysterious, quiet girl out shopping for new clothes, because she only has the ones on her back.

The nightwear shop wasn't exactly what I thought it would be, though there was an erotic section that Chie pointed me to. My face burned red and I could feel sweat forming around my neck.

"Maybe next time then, eh?" =3

I certainly hope she didn't expect to check me out in any of those outfits.

I already had clothes like that in mind. While the shop didn't have everything I saw on the websites, their wares were enticing, and I did want to try on a few of them. I had my mind set on a crotchless body stocking and a few skintight, see through teddies I saw.

"You need pajamas, and I think I have just the idea."

Sports shorts were her idea, along with spaghetti tops, tank tops, and two knitted, simple cardigans, one brown and one green, which I wore around the house in my new pajamas a lot in the coming years.

Chie pointed out a selection of body pillows they had and my face got really red.

I had never had one, and I knew it would be weird if a guy bought one, for obvious reasons, but I guess it was alright if a girl bought one. I never understood that. I guess no one assumed girls used them for pleasure. I knew better, after some of the videos and images I saw. Everyone liked the sensation of something soft down there~ =3

I nodded shyly to Chie and we entered. I was blown away at how comfortable she was with all this, though I think I could remember spotting a body pillow in her room at one time.

I had developed a wish to own a giant teddy bear. One of the five foot tall ones. I saw plenty of videos of girls grinding against theirs, or attaching dildos to them . One day, I wanted to buy a cosplay outfit of Bridget from _Guilty Gear_ and wear it while using that teddy and dildo to my heart's content.

There was also shoes, so we hit another store... By this point I was exhausted...

I guess girls go nuts with buying lots of shoes, but Chie was more practical with this and bought me a nice white pair of house slippers with white bows on the tongues, and a pair of brown loafers like the ones I saw the girls at school wearing most of the time.

"Some girls can pull off wearing tennis shoes with knee or thigh socks, and it gives off a sort of fun and outgoing appeal, but this should do for you until you find the look that best suits you."

Actually, shortly after buying the shoes, I began to have fantasies about wearing them with the socks while having my fun time, like a girl who loved the idea of masturbating without removing everything, or just enjoyed the sporty look...haaah~

And that's about when I needed to pay attention to my surroundings because my genitals were starting to get warm.

With a lot of bags in hand, Chie made me carry half, along with the huge body pillow, which I still got stared at for, even if I was supposedly a girl.

We stepped back on the train and headed home.

Over these two years, I wore everything, mostly for casual wear, but I also enjoyed the different combinations of clothing articles, both for everyday and during my playtime x3. I continued to buy more items, mostly cosplay and lingerie for private reasons, but a few times, Chie took me shopping and I was less nervous, but I had to buy everything myself. I also began buying all the toys I wanted. My very first purchase was very direct. I had simply wanted to get some vibrators, an ona hole, and anal toys, just to get me started, but I didn't want to wait, and found myself buying a basic latex dildo and something called an 'anal training kit', with different sized cones for insertion, the largest one being two inches wide and seven inches long. They weren't becessarily for play, because they were PVC and too rigid, they were for prolonged insertion only, just to get me ready. I figured that was enough, and I needed it, considering the dildo sizes I wanted. Wait till you hear about my first dildo experience~

Toys and clothes were not the only things I invested time and money in. I already had gigabites of hentai images, doujins and pirated movies downloaded on my external hard drive. I soon began investing in actual DVDs and had also run into some demos for some amazing eroges, and found a few I really liked. I bought 3D Custom Girl, not really caring how old it was, it was fun and there were still mods coming out for it. I purchased and downloaded a slew of eroge and enjoyed playing them in my underwear, day clothes or something sexy. I especially loved having all my toys laid out and ready for me.

You could say, things began with an explosion in my first few months doing all this, and then simmered out into a part of my everyday life, exactly as I wanted. I couldn't be happier with this. It didn't become an obsession, I still kept up with school, spent time with my friends, took part in other pastimes I enjoyed, and had occasional times when Chie and I actually spent time together, feeling like a real brother and sister, though when I was dressed up, she persisted to treat me like a sister... I guess it was a bit of a game to her. Wearing my girl clothes had become pretty normal, so I'll phrase it as wearing one or the other. Whether I was wearing my guy or my girl clothes, she continued to do nice things for me. I guess this was because we were growing closer, something I wasn't sure would ever really happen, until now.


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

My first dildo experience was scary and exciting, just like everything else, though I had been practicing with the sharpie and a few other items I could find for a while, by that point. I had also masturbated plenty, I imagine in the total sum of time between the winter break and February, I had done it enough. I made sure to do it at least four times a week, but I made my goal to be more than that. Masturbating when you live with at least two people is difficult, not to mention three, depending on the situation. Most days after school were perfect for me. I started very slowly, and I made a point to do it naked the first several times. It felt weird at first, but after it became a regular thing, that easily went away. Then all the other stuff came, like teasing my nipples, touching places of my body, feeling my hair and touching my face, trying different positions, being more vocal, and playing with my butt. People might think these things are stupid, especially for a boy, but they really do enhance the experience. I've learned the entire body becomes like a sexual organ during arousal, one just needs to open their mind to the possibilities and not be embarrassed about enjoying themselves.

I certainly felt less ashamed every time I did it.

For a while, I had to make an effort to lay perfectly still after orgasming and think positive things. I _had_ to. If I wanted to teach myself to remain calm at all and not panic, I had to learn to not let my thoughts take over. When you come from a really reserved background like me, your brain will try to backfire on you in all kinds of ways with these things because it's been programmed to think what you're doing is wrong, when only a few minutes ago it was begging you to do it. So it really begs the question, 'why did I want to do it in the first place?' The simple answer is, because it's fun, exciting, and it feels good.

It's also a bit like exercising that sexual part of your brain, because it hasn't been used all that much. So the stronger it gets, that means you're learning more and becoming more comfortable with everything you want to do. I guess sex is a very psychological thing.

For example, a few times while I was lying naked on a few towels I had laid out so I wouldn't get any of my cum on the floor because I just let it shoot all over my body, I wondered if maybe I was making too big a deal out of all this. This had been after my first time cumming for the day, and I realize that was just my mind trying to run from it. I knew that if I let myself run, I would only come back to it eventually, only that time, I would feel like I had wasted so much time...

And so, I gave myself as much time as I needed before I felt like going for another round. Orgasming the second time around also felt better, and I felt more confident.

But living with people still makes it difficult, even if they're not around much, because you never know when someone's going to be home, and that thought is always lying in the back of your head. No one wants to get caught doing something private like this, especially to such an extent as cumming all over your own body because it's messy fun that feels good and makes you feel slutty — yes, I've become okay with that feeling too — It creates this subconscious understanding that you can only have so much fun, and that your time having fun is limited, and in most cases, you may not be aware of when that time is up, just like you may not always be aware of when the front door will click open.

Anyway, my first experience with a dildo rocked my world.

I had bought the dildo online with the butt plugs and some special scented lube and condoms. Everything a kinky girl or boy like myself needed for their first experience.

I researched information on using butt plugs and found out many ways they could be used, but my focus was simply how long I should leave one in before progressing to the next size. I learned that several hours was best. In a lot of cases, people said to sleep with one in.

But I learned another something that was important, cleanliness.

Sadly, real life was not entirely like all the hentai I had watched — a good number of that hentai featuring traps like me. If people were going to explore their anal orifice that thoroughly, they needed to make sure it was nice and clean. And I didn't want _anything_ like that _stuff_ coming out of me and completely ruining the mood for me. I already had to deal with that on a smaller scale a few times with the sharpie, and I was fairly grossed out xS

This was the only drawback that males had, with our primary sexual organ being a giving instrument and not a receiving one, however, males have the benefit of a prostate, which makes anal a very viable method for us. The simple solution I discovered for this was enemas.

Enemas came with their own benefits, but for what I was planning to do, they kept that particular hole clean for at least two to three days, depending on how much water one was compelled to take in, and how many times they did it. Also, going to the bathroom before anal sex, just to make sure, always helped too.

So an enema kit joined the dildos, butt plugs, condoms and lube in my virtual shopping cart.

Giving myself an well sized enema was a strange and gross experience, but I hand plenty of time to do as many as I needed, until what was coming out of me was crystal clear — I made a point of not looking at anything the first few times, so I wasn't as grossed out.

I gave myself a quick enema at least once every day after that. I honestly felt very clean, both inside and out, so it certainly worked wonders.

The butt plugs, lube and enema kit had come in the mail all on the same day, but the dildo and condoms were supposed to come the next day, which was perfect, because it gave me plenty of time to prepare.

I spent the entire afternoon with the small butt plug inside me. It really wasn't much bigger than the sharpie I had been using, so I didn't feel that much of a stretch in my tight little hole~

Without Chie's knowledge, heh-heh~, I spent that entire evening with the medium butt-plug in, with its base sticking out from just between my panties under my skirt, I just had to make sure I didn't bend over to grab anything when she was around. The medium plug did pinch a little, and I figured that was a good place to wait a while.

I went to bed in my brand new jammies that I had only had for a week at that point, with that butt plug inside me. It was a bit difficult trying to sleep with an erection when I was so excited for tomorrow.

I went to take the plug out the next morning before getting ready for school, and stopped.

I don't have to stop doing this when I'm not home. I can do it at school and no one will notice~

I thought maybe I shouldn't, to be respectful of the other students around me, but they did all kinds of stuff behind each other's backs. I had no involvement with them, so why should I care?

I took out the large butt plug and set the two next to each other.

"Wow..." I muttered. "It's pretty big..."

I think I was more intimidated about the setting I would be wearing it in than the size itself. I did have its slightly smaller counterpart inside me over night, and when I woke up that morning, I barely felt a thing. I wonder if it was the same way with girls sticking things in their vaginas and just leaving them there... I'm sure it was the same way with them and anal things though.

Chie was getting ready for work soon too, so I didn't have a lot of time. I needed to make a decision and stick with it.

I grabbed the large plug. I lubed it up and angled it on my chair. I wouldn't really need to clean anything because I had thoroughly cleaned my butt before using the first two plugs. I even thought there would be a stink, but there wasn't.

Completely naked before changing into my boxers and school clothes, I pushed down and could feel the girth about halfway down.

I realize this really wasn't the time to be trying something like this, but I was already in it. Truthfully, I could have turned back and just put the medium sized one back in, which would have probably been smarter, but I was all in.

I could feel it stretching my tight butt hole wider than it had ever been. It was stimulating and terrifying all at the same time. I pushed down with a little more weight and tried to relax.

 _Shloop~_

It slipped right in!

I had to take some weight off my pelvis because it was long enough that I could feel it digging into something, possibly where my tubing curved, or possibly a part of my pelvis.

I stood up slowly and had to clench my butt cheeks. It was a bit slippery. I was taking a big risk like this, especially with having to walk half the way to school, with the rest being sitting on a train.

My solution? I put on a pair of panties. They were tight enough that I knew even if it the plug was moving around a little loosely, it wouldn't slip out all the way. It wasn't my first time wearing panties to school under my boy's uniform — or wearing panties to school in general. And then just to be safe, I wore my boxers over those, because you never know. The part of the plug my hole was hugging so tightly would get dry eventually and then the slippery feeling would go away. Good thing I didn't have gym today.

I pulled the rest of my old boys school uniform on, rinsed my face while feeling my heart pounding, and entered the kitchen for breakfast, Chie none the wiser~ ^w^

The entire day at school had been tantalizing, but sometimes it was boring, because sometimes I felt like I didn't have anything inside me at all, unless I was moving.

I figured out a way of sitting without feeling the plug digging into something inside me while I was on the train, but I had to adjust myself a little bit.

I felt like one of those girls I had seen in a few videos, where they went out into public with a vibrating egg in their vagina. A lewd thought kicked up where I imagined if only this butt plug could vibrate and I had a girlfriend manning the wireless remote. That would be fun~ xP

I sat through all of my classes barely feeling a thing~ But there were all kinds of things going through my head that I couldn't pick them all out at once and list them for you. I had enough trouble as it was paying attention in class.

The main thing in my head was that I was sitting in school with a plug in my butt. I was doing something that almost none of these people around me would do. And I felt awesome! Yuuki Ashikaga was doing something almost no one would ever suspect him of doing. How many girls would be grossed out with me if they knew, and how many would be secretly turned on, I wondered...

Walking to school and around school wasn't as difficult as you may think. I had the panties to support the plug so it didn't fall out, but also, walking wasn't super difficult, I could possibly even run with this thing inside me if I wanted. It moved around quite a bit when I was walking, but it felt good~ The hardest part was keeping my erection down... /

I guess it was because it was putting a lot of pressure on my prostate and moving around when I walked.

I should have seen this coming, but I ran into _her_ today...

I froze when she came by, her purple twin-tails waving as I noticed her.

I figured it was going to be the usual encounter, but happened a few times a week. She would walk by a little quicker and pretend not to notice me.

It didn't matter because my mind a bit pre-occupied with things important to me at the moment.

"Um..."

I stopped.

I know that was her voice. Was she speaking to me? After these past months, was she seriously speaking to me?!

"Y-Yuuki...?"

My chest froze and I had to breathe out before I turned and faced her.

She seemed uncertain. She looked like she wanted to tell me something.

She looked away and suddenly looked really nervous.

"N-Nevermind..." she turned and walked away.

After she had left, I sighed.

What was going through her head? I think I'd be willing to tell her what was going through mine, if she would only tell me what was going through hers...

I got through the school day just fine, and when I was walking away from the train station, I felt a sense of relaxation and triumph. Now to just check our mail box~

There were two packages addressed to me. With the butt-plug inside me and the packages right in front of me, in the mailbox, my erection had started back up underneath my panties and boxers~

Chie wouldn't be home for at least another four hours~ I didn't have work today~ That was enough time to play and get well acquainted with this big hunk, without making a big mess of myself~

The dildo I bought, to my understanding, was good for anal, but not good for beginners, because of its thickness. But I figured the anal training butt plugs would prep me for its size. It was 1.6 inches in width along the shaft, which wasn't too thick for a beginner like me. I had read that the anus could only take four or five inches of length, but some of the porn videos I had seen told me different, so I decided on this dildo because it was five inches insertable, not too long, not too short. If I couldn't fit it all the way in, I was okay with that, I was still a beginner and I had all afternoon, up until early evening.

I grabbed the boxes and began my happy, brisk walk of joy back to my house.

I wondered how I would look, sucking on a dick that was bigger than mine, and then taking him (or her~) in my butt~ This put the thought in my head to buy a camcorder, or two~

Once home, I went straight to my room with the boxes. The smaller box had the lube that I had ordered.

I cut open the larger box and beheld a fat rubber cock inside a sealed plastic bag, with an extra packet of lube.

"Y-You're bigger than I thought..." my mouth gaped at its size.

I took it out of its plastic packaging and held it in both of my hands. It definitely had weight to it. My penis was pretty average in size, and I'm sure if the manufacturers molded and dildo out of it, it wouldn't match up to the sheer weight and size of this thing!

It seriously was bigger than I had imagined it being, which both excited and concerned me. I was hoping I could at least get it in without hurting myself. But then I remembered, the butt plug inside me had to be at least as wide as this thing, possibly more, and its length was either equal or greater. The only difference was that the part my hole was clinging to wasn't as wide as the rest of it, so it wouldn't slip out that easily, or slip in and get stuck for that matter. So I had to figure, my hole was used to being stretched, but not to the same degree as the girth of the dildo in my hands...

I gulped. But I was still excited. I knew I couldn't continue until I had changed.

I put the dildo and lube on my bed to greet me when I got back.

I went to the bathroom to remove the large butt-plug, to make sure there wasn't _anything_ on it. There wasn't, phew~ So I gave it a rinse and stuck it back inside me~ I wanted it in while I was 'saying hello' to my new friend~

I left the bathroom naked with my school clothes in my arms. I tossed them on my bed and went into the drawer of my dress that I called my 'cross drawer'. I got out the white pair of thigh-high socks, and gray pair of panties with little pink hearts and pink fills that I liked very much, my light blue sport shorts for sleeping in, a light cotton fitted tee shirt with pink decals on it, and my blue cardigan house coat. These were what I usually wore around the house. I would have wanted to dress up more for my new dildo, like some pink kinky lingerie, but I felt like being simpler for my first time.

I shut the door to my room, set the boxes aside, and started getting in the mood~

Man I loved that I had so much time to myself now!

I just stared at the dildo lying on my bed with the lube container for a while, before I walked gently over to the edge of my bed and got on my knees.

I stood it up and petted it. It was strange to be handling a sex toy for the first time, but I couldn't think of a better setting.

"You're much bigger than I thought you would be~" I muttered in the most sultry voice I could manage. "But, I wasn't sure what to expect~"

I stroked over its head and squeezed the shaft, watching it swell out a little, almost like how a real penis swells.

"You seem pretty happy to see me~ Do I turn you on~? I-I know I'm pretty small...do you...think I'm cute...?"

The penis head stared at me with its fake urethra.

"Y-You do?" / "Th...thank you... You want me to do what?" I looked a little astonished. "W-Will that make you feel good? I've honestly never done it before... If it will make you happy, then I'll try..."

I gave the head a kiss, right on the urethra~

"Did you like that...? You did?!" / "W-Wanna do it again? I l-liked it too..." I kissed it again on the nerve underneath the urethra~ "You feel good on my lips, I really like it~ ...My lips feel good? Hehe~ you're so sweet~ " I stroked it a few more times.

I didn't notice until now, but I was getting really hard, my panties were getting a little tight, just from talking to my new dildo and kissing it!

" _Oh!_ It feels good when I do this too?" I stroked it a few more times. "Good~ then I'll be sure to do it as much as I can for you~ ...My mouth? Well...okay...I've never done that before either... I hope this is to your liking..."

I pressed the tip against my shut lips~ Then I opened them so that it slid in. My soft lips stayed tightly around the cock about to go inside my oral cavity, and my lips slid over the glans and down the shaft.

"Mmmmmmm~ " I hummed all the way down, until it was as far as it would go inside my mouth, without choking me.

I pulled up and stopped at the edge of the glans, and pushed back down.

"Mmm~hhh~" I breathed only through my nose. "Mmmm~ "

I didn't care if I sounded stupid, not while whispering to my toy or moaning out my enjoyment, it felt _so_ good to do that. My penis was pulsing inside my panties. If everyone could enjoy solo-sex like this, war would cease to exist!

"Doesh ish fel goot~?" I winked one eye open and looked up at the imaginary person there.

I didn't imagine anyone in particular, it could have been Kuroda with a big fat penis for all I cared. All I cared was that it was a penis that wanted me just as much as I wanted it.

Eventually I did start imagining people with these dicks, but at the time, my mind was swimming in a world of pleasure, stimulation and imagination so that nothing seemed solidified. Just the act itself was enough to make me more horny.

I began bobbing my head, "Mm~mm~ mm~mm~ mm~ mm~"

Just the act itself was making me _so hard!_ Here I was, sucking on a dildo, and getting _really_ turned on by it! I wondered if girls felt the same way when they sucked on a dildo or a real penis. Such a fascinating thing~

After maybe a minute or two, my saliva began building up between my lips. This was good. I wanted this. It was my gustatory impulses reacting to having something inside my mouth. The dildo began getting slick and glistened with my spit.

I then tried actually sucking on it. When I did, my cheeks indented and it actually slid further into my mouth! I wondered how this would have felt to a real person, or if it were being done to me! / My saliva also helped to make it more slippery, so it slid between my lips easier.

My lips began sputtering as they parted randomly while I was sucking, creating gusts

"Mm~ppphh~ hmmmm~ pph~mmm~ppphh~"

It only made me hotter, and I bobbed my head more viciously~ feeling like a slut in a hentai video~

It was making me so hot and hard. I could seriously pull down my panties right now and probably cum after only thirty seconds of stroking myself, but I wasn't going to do that~

I pulled up while sucking~

 _Phhh-pop~!_

My lips popped! They actually popped! /

"Nnngh~" I started stroking it, my saliva and my hand making lewd wet sounds on it~ "It feels good~?"

God, how can I be having this much fun with a chunk of rubber?! It wasn't a complex software program, or a new MMORPG, or even a drone with a camera, and yet it was the best thing ever! I felt like I could just suck it all day long! I wanted hundreds of these things, in all shapes and colors!

If only this were the kind that could cum, then it would create a feeling of accomplishment. A squirting dildo would be the next purchase on my list. I just wanted this one so I could get a feel for dildos in general, and it hadn't taken me long before I fell in love

"You wanna do something else...? ...Yeah, it's okay. You can do whatever you want to me~ ...Good, I was thinking the same thing~ I've prepared myself, but I still might be tight..."

I set the dildo steadily on my floor, and feeling just as if I were a girl about to lose her virginity, I pulled my nighty shorts and my panties down my smooth legs and my twitching erection wagged out in the open air. This was so much fun~!

If only I had a camera on me, then later I could spot the butt plug sticking out from under my cheeks and watch as I pulled it out~

I pulled it out, feeling a sensational stretch from my hole, before it relaxed as the rest of it slid out.

I grabbed the lube bottle and knelt down in front of the dildo in a wariza seated position, so my smooth balls were touching the floor, which also felt awesome! x3

I gently applied the lube and my excess spittle made it even slicker. Perfect~

I got on my knees above my new lover, with him pointing directly up to my special area. His balls were positioned so they would be touching my butt cheeks, if he managed to fit all the way inside me.

I pulled my cardigan up so it was stretched over my smooth butt~ "O-Okay...th...this is my first time...s-so, p-please be gentle..."

I reached down and held him with one hand, and slowly angled my butt down until I felt his head push against where my prostate would be, between my balls and my anus.

" _Cold~_ " I winced a little.

I used his head to find my hole. It took a little rubbing until I managed to locate it.

Then I slowly lowered my butt, while working on relaxing.

"Eeeegh~" I shut my eyes and breathed. "Y-You're so big~ I hope you'll fit~"

I could feel him pressing against my hole, wanting to enter~

I wiggled my bottom a little and lowered my butt a little more.

I felt my hole open up and then hug around his thick head~ It felt easy, but at the same time—

" _Tight~ It's so tight~_ " I gasped. " _hhh-Ahhh~_ "

I lowered further, sinking him deeper inside me. I could feel a sensation in my own penis that was intoxicating, but it was similar to feeling like I needed to pee. This meant that some part of the dildo was pressing against my prostate. It made me want to go crazy and smash my butt hole with this dong until I exploded with ecstasy!

I pushed him in until I felt an uncomfortable pressure, like he was pushing against something, so I lifted up a little and knew I shouldn't go beyond that point. With as much of him as I got inside me, it was only halfway. One day I would manage to fit him all the way inside, and if possible, the longer ones I planned to buy too.

I looked down at the invisible person lying under me, sticking their dick inside my tight, hungry hole~

"Y-You're stretching me so wide~ ...Y-Yes...I'll go slow..."

My hole was burning from being stretched so much, but it also felt _really_ good~

I let go of the dick inside me and grabbed the suction cup base.

"I-I'm going to start moving now..."

I lifted my butt cheeks up until I could almost feel the lips of his glans inside me touching the lips of my anus.

" _Hheeegh~_ "

Then I shoved him back inside!

" _Aaaah~!_ "

With one arm on the floor to support me as I leaned forward, and my other hand keeping the dildo on the floor, I began sliding him in and out of me, my bare hips with the soft cardigan draped around them like a flapping green curtain~

"Nngh~ahh~ haahh~ahhh~ "

People could speak ill of me for being an otokonoko, they could laugh at me for playing with sex toys and rubber cocks, I didn't care, this was easily one of the best feelings in the world!

It was everything I had dreamed~

My anus was still burning from the stretch, but even that felt good~ He was so strong and hard inside me~ He filled me up just right and made me beg for more~

"Y-You feel so good~ You're so thick and hard inside me~! "

I never wanted to stop shoving him inside me~!

He was slick enough now that I pushed up from the floor and let go of him, so I was riding him hands free. I pulled the corners of my cardigan again, so it was stretched just over my cute little butt, and made a cute post as I shoved his hot meat inside my tender snatch.

"Mm!~ " My eye winked down at him. "I love this!~Hah!~ I can't get enough of you!~ You make me feel so good!~Ngh!~ "

I felt pretty, and this ambiguous creation of my imagination only made me feel more pretty with its dick inside me~

My hips sped up, I could hear him slicking in and out of me.

"Hah~ah~ahh~ahh~ nngh~ nghah~ "

 _Slk~_ _slk~slk~_ _slk~_ _slk~slk~_

This squishy piece of rubber had turned me into a horny little fem-boy~

My penis had been soft, even though it felt amazing, with clear pre-cum dripping out, but it was slowly beginning to grow and get hard, until it was sticking up.

"Ah!~Ah!~Ahh!~ Augh!~ P-Pound my naughty hole, please!~ Nagh!~M-Make me yours!~ "

I leaned forward with my hands on the floor and began smashing my hips down so he jammed right inside me.

" _Nnnnghh!~_ _Mmmgh!~_ _Y-You're so rough!~Y-you're making my butt make lewd sounds~_ "

 _Shlk!~Shlk!~_ _Shlk!~_ _Shlk!~_ _Shlk!~_

I focused on the sensation of him sliding between the lips of my hole. I could feel his ribs tantalizing it as I smashed him in faster.

I wished I could see what my butt looked like while I was doing this.

I leaned forward further and rested my head on the ground so I could watch him enter in and out from beyond my balls and twitching erection.

After a while in the cowgirl position, I got a bit tired, and my penis was rock hard, but I didn't cum, that wasn't part of the plan. Cumming meant the possibility of those nasty second thoughts.

I pulled him out. He was clean, but wet, slippery, and warm from me~

"C-C'mon~" I said hungrily, a little drool on my lip, "Do me from behind~! "

I had a mess of flat surfaces to choose from in my room, it was rather spacious. So I picked the wall next to my bed, spit in my hand, rubbed it on the suction cup and stamped it into the wall at what I imagined was the same level as where my butt was.

I pulled the cardigan over my back as I leaned forward and planted my hands on my bed. He poked my butt cheek, but I maneuvered and he found my hole quick enough. Then he slipped right back inside with a loud _shlk!~_

" _Naagh!~_ " My head whipped up, my short hair flying, and he began smacking inside me as quickly as that!

" _Nyaaagh!~_ " I could feel tears forming at the edges of my eyes! I was just like one of my heroines from my doujins!

I let me pleasure tears roll down my face as I was pounded from behind!

" _M-My head's getting all fuzzy~Ahh!~_ _Ahh!~_ _Yah!~_ _Ahh!~Ahh!~_ _Ahh!~It feels so good~!_ "

 _Shlk!~_ _Shlk!~_ _Shlk!~_ _Shlk!~_ _Shlk!~_ _Shlk!~_

I don't know how, but more fluid had started accumulating inside my hole and it was being sloshed around in there, making the most amazing sounds!

" _Your dick is driving me crazy!~_ _You're churning me up inside!~_ _Fuck me harder!~Please fuck my tight butt harder!~_ "

I wanted to work on doing stretches so my legs could remain straight like the girls in a lot of the hentai I had seen, because my knees were bent, so it probably looked a little weird if there were bystanders.

" _G-Give me your dick!~_ _You feel so good!~_ _Hah!~_ _Ahh!~_ "

Later, we moved to the middle of my floor, where I tried a position where I laid on my side, using an arm to pull my knee toward my face with my toes stuck out elegantly, while I used my other hand to shove him inside me.

" _Ahh!~Nghah!~Hah!~_ _Yah!~_ _Yah!~_ "

 _Shlck!~_ _Shlck!~_ _Shlck!~_ _Shlck!~_ _Shlck!~_

I never thought that fucking my ass with a dildo would be so satisfyingly noisy!

My penis flapped happily as I did this. It had been leaking pre-cum for at least the past twenty minutes, but time had quickly fallen away, I had no idea how long I had been at it.

The burning, stretching sensation had pretty much gone away by this point. Now it felt like this dildo and my pleasure hole were made for each other~

" _Ahh!~_ _Ahh!~_ _Ahh!~_ _Ahh!~_ "

My butt cheeks felt moist and I'm sure they were all shiny~

Sadly, I couldn't do much else in this position because both of my hands were busy, but it sure was a workout~

I maneuvered to where I was rested on my shoulders and neck, with my knees close to my head and my butt in the air. I could see my hard penis easily as it dangled over my face with my cute balls. I caressed my moist, cool butt cheeks as I used my other hand to slide him in and out of me.

I could imagine a big muscly guy fucking cute little me in this position with his knees bent out like an animal.

" _Yah!~_ _Yah!~_ _Hahh!~_ "

By this point, my arm was getting tired, but I barely noticed.

My hole felt all wet and rubbery, like it had been turned into its own sex toy. A hole meant only for passion and release, and it took him inside with more longing desire.

" _Yah!~_ _Augh!~_ _Agh!~_ _Hah!~_ "

 _Shlk!~_ _Shlk!~_ _Shlk!~_ _Shlk!~_ _Shlk!~_

I didn't know what the real difference was between good sex and bad sex, but if this was bad sex, then good sex would send me into an orgasmic coma.

I felt like even if I never came, I could just keep doing this until I dropped. I had never had fun like this, and at my age, it was the best time for me to discover it.

If Chie didn't come home this evening, if I had my own home, I could do this well into the night, even if I didn't cum. But speaking of which...

I felt a tension in my prostate that caused a tingling sensation, and then my penis became really hard!

" _Mmmmmmm!~_ " /

In a lot of ways, things don't go as planned for people. In this case, I had been holding back my desires for so long, they had gotten the best of me.

" _Please!~_ " I gasped. " _Cum inside me!~I can't take it anymore!~Your dick is so good!~_ "

I began thrusting him inside even harder!

 _Shlk!Shlk!Shlk!Shlk!Shlk!Shlk!Shlk!_

" _Mmmmmmm!~_ " /

I tensed my pelvis involuntarily.

" _I'm cu-I'm cu-I-I-I'm—CUMMIIIING!~_ 💓💓💓"

I kept my eyes shut tight in total bliss and felt something warm and hot land on my face!

My penis felt tensed to its maximum, it felt more strained than any other time I had ever masturbated.

I kept pounding my ass with the dildo, making loud, wet noises all the way!

 _SHLK!SHLK!SHLK!SHLK!SHLK!SHLK!_

I was smashing it so fast inside me, it was like it was scrubbing my prostate in really fast but tiny motions!

" _HAAAAAAHHHHH!~_ 💓💓💓💓💓"

Some of my cum landed inside my gaping mouth as I cried out uncontrollably!

It landed on my cheek and my chin too!

Only three hard shots hit me in the face before they curtailed off into minor dribbles.

I didn't really feel any hit my eyes, but that was because I was still wearing my big round coke bottle glasses~ I had been fantasizing about being cum-faced while wearing them for a while now, and it just happened.

So many good things hit my mind all at once~💓

My hand stopped jamming the dildo inside my butt like a mad fiend, and I just stayed there for a few moments, feeling it inside me~

" _Haah~haah~hah~hah~_ hah~hah~"

My penis still had a string of cum hanging from its tip, and I felt not all of it had gotten out, so I stroked it gently to help some of that along.

"Dnngh~...hah...hah...hah..."

Then I pulled the dildo out. I stuck my fingers in and around the edges of my hole. It was gaping, but this made me feel mildly turned on. Then I lowered my butt onto the floor, stretching my legs with the white thigh-highs out, and just relaxed with the dildo still in my hand and against my thigh.

So many good things all at once...

I don't think I was capable of any negative thinking in that moment...

I stared up at the ceiling through my cum splattered glasses in wonder~ I could taste my own essence on my tongue, but I didn't swallow yet, I was too entranced~

My anus was singing and vibrating from the constant motion before, it felt heavenly~

My bare butt cheeks on the floor felt so tender, moist and cool~

My arm was almost numb and it graciously thanked me for the rest after many minutes of continuous toil.

Probably a moment after I came, a wave had gone out through my body. A wave of absolute peace and contentment, and I believe I was only just beginning to notice its effects.

My mind was indeed swimming in a state of euphoria...

If I were a spiritual person, I could only guess that it had come from my heart, and then stretched into my mind and the rest of me.

I was just a tender, gentle boy that wanted to be loved, and I felt that I had somehow discovered that love within myself.

This was when I had realized that there was more to all of this than just dressing up and playing with toys. I was content with where I was in this moment in time, when people might say I should be out doing something else like being with my friends, or having some kind of adventure, I was happy right here, having my own adventure right now.

Anyone else might tell me I should be ashamed. And why? Why should anyone be ashamed for doing what I just did? When it made me feel this relaxed, this much joy, who could argue against it? People say to appreciate the simpler things in life. Isn't that what I'm doing? It's not all that complicated.

I was so tired and worn out from all the constant moving I had just done. Gosh, solo-sex like this was a real workout. I realized that it would be a journey for me. If I wanted to increase my endurance so I could feel more energetic and be able to do it more than once in a day or even a night, I had to keep doing it, I had to keep practicing. I did not mind the worn out feeling, but I didn't want to feel this way every time I did it. I also had to take good care of my body, I didn't want to wear myself down and get sick.

I rolled on my side and pushed myself up with the dildo still in my hand, my arms and legs were shaky at certain positions. I think that was from the exertion and not having enough protein in my diet.

I stood up and went to my desk. With my smooth waist exposed, I could feel my cardigan whispering around my bare butt, and it felt wonderful~ My cute penis had shrunk, still with some cum around the tip, my balls scrunched up tightly under it.

I planted the dildo on the surface of my desk and looked at it.

Yes~ This was the beginning of a brand new side to myself~ I don't think I could have been happier~ Well, unless I somehow won a billion yen and could move into my own mansion where I could have all the clothes and sex toys I wanted and do this as much as I wanted, as well as everything else I would do with a billion yen, but it still wouldn't have changed the revelation stirring inside me.

I needed to clean my new dildo and then clean myself up. I looked at my floor and realized I needed to clean it a little too, because a few drops had not hit my face. I realized I should invest in some blankets or roll out futons to have sex on.

I wished I could have kept going, but I was too exhausted. Right then, I wished I had some stuffed animals to cuddle up with and continue feeling my bliss~ I did get those later too~

The next day, I discovered my butt was rather sore, as well as several other muscles. That old saying about someone being 'butt hurt' became clearer to me in a more literal sense. Though opposite of what the meaning implied, I was not disappointed or regretful in the least. I was content and eager.

I later created a list of things to do and a schedule. I started a stretch routine, and made sure to do it every time I came home, before doing solo-sex. It helped with my sore muscles, and over time, I could do positions with more balance, grace and elegance~ I tried to cum hands-free as often as I could, but I didn't cum every time, though after two weeks of my schedule, I began cumming more and more without using my hands because I developed a technique and knowledge of my own body and how it worked in this area. My butt soreness went away too and it became well-adjusted to the new activity~

I also managed to buy my first squirt dildo, along with some other sex toys that vibrated or gyrated. I bought new clothes, some casual, some erotic, and expanded my eroge collection. I played a lot of those feverishly. It was tough having to balance all of this with school and work, but they do say when one has a hobby, their work tends to improve.

I had as much fun as I could experimenting on myself with all the new toys I had collected.

I bought my first ona hole and had fun with that too. It was supposed to feel just like a girl's vagina, but I had never had sex yet, so I wouldn't be able to compare. All I knew was that it felt amazing~

I created a little thing called an 'ona roll', where you take one or two ona holes and place them on either ends of a folded blanket. Preferably it should be a soft blanket with puffy material, but almost any blanket would do, as long as it's big enough. You fold the blanket to fit the length and potential thickness you desire, and then you roll the ona holes up inside it on both ends, so that it's a puffy roll of fabric with a vagina on one side, or both sides if you use two. Then you tie it off with something so it doesn't unravel. My best suggestion is cheap clothesline or soft rope. With this, you can have sex with the ona holes in various positions and not have to worry about just using one with your hand the regular way. I spent a lot of time having sex with these too, though I loved my dildos very much. I guess a girl could do the same thing with dildos. I'll have to give it a try myself and then get back to you on it.


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5**

"Mph~...mmph~...mph~"

A few weeks after my first dildo experience, things picked up for me in the bedroom and I began having a ball~

"Mmmph~ ...mmph~ ..."

I always imagined my dildos as being connected to faceless guys. The faces guys made in porn videos were a turn off for me, so I tended to only focus on the girl involved, but I didn't mind thinking about a group of strong guys giving me their dicks, so I guess I'm pretty bi ^^

"Mmm~...hmmmph~ ...mmph~ "

Sllk~...sllk~...sllk~ ...

I had managed to attach one of the three squirt cocks I had ordered online to the edge of a metal folding chair's seat, a chair I kept around in case I had a guest. I didn't think it would work, but the surface of the chair proved just wide enough to fit the suction cup of the squirt cock.

"Mmph~...mph~ ...mph~ ..."

And behind me~

Sllk~...sllk~...

A similar quirt cock I stuck to the wall, though it was different, a bit longer and not as thick.

Sllk~...sllk~ ...sllk~ ...

"Mmmph~ ...mmph~ ..."

God it felt so good to get plunged in my butt while sucking cock~ This was a fantasy I had had for a while, and by this point, I had lost track of how many times I had done it, it felt so good in so many ways~

" _Mmmph~_ _...hmmm~_ " I moaned a little harder, feeling so turned on~

My penis was fully erect by this point and wagging gently in the open air, dribbling little streams of my love juices on the soft pink king sized blanket I had bought too.

I was wearing nothing but a gray spaghetti strap and knee high socks, and one of the straps had fallen over my shoulder while one of the socks had loosened down my calf, not by my doing either.

My hair had grown out more by this point, and was enough to bob cutely in the space over my shoulders.

"Hmmm~...mmph~..." My saliva cultivated around my hot lips, making the dildo glisten and begin to drip~

Slllk~ ...sllk~ ...sllk~ ...

My pleasure hole was being churned in just the right way~ I could feel the scented lube mixing with some of my own fluids and beginning to slosh around inside~

The dickhead massaged my prostate perfectly~

 _Slk~sllk~sllk~_ _slk~_ _slk~slk~_

" _Hmmmm~mmmph~_ " Speeding up the dick thrusting inside my butt made me suck harder on the dick in my mouth~!

My tender, petite male body was being well ravaged by two rubber toys~ My girly nature and feminine wile was shining within the confines of my room~

" _Mmph~mph~_ _mmph~_ _mmph~_ _mmph~mph~_ "

 _Slk~slk~slk~slk~slk~slk~_

I loved my body and I loved putting it in this position. I felt good inside and out. I would have touched and felt myself up, if I didn't already feel so good with one arm propping me up while the other stroked the dong fucking my face.

 _Slk!~Slk!~Slk!~Slk!~_ _Slk!~_ _Slk!~_

" _Hmmmmmph!~_ " I moaned hungrily.

My butt cheeks quivered as I sped up, on the verge of pounding them against the root of the large dick inside me. The tip of my penis was burning eagerly, wanting to let lose all the tension I had built up for it!

All at once, I attached the cock in my mouth while the other slapped inside my tight butt with much force!

" _Mm-gmph!~_ _Mmmph!~Mm!~_ _Mmm!~_ "

 _Slk!~Slk!~Slk!~Slk!~Slk!~Slk!~_

I could feel my back bowing a little as my body rocked! My hair began bobbing and jumping around my bare shoulders as I was pounded on my way to satiation~!

' _Almost there..._ '

I grabbed the two plastic syringes lying on the floor, one in each hand. They had small tubes running out of them into the backs of my dildos.

" _Mmph~Guh!_ _Guh!_ _Mph!Mph!_ _Guh!_ " I moaned hard and opened my mouth so I was almost deep throating part of it at a wild speed! My spittle began dripping off it in strings~

 _Slk!Slk!_ _Slk!_ _Slk!Slk!Slk!_ _Slk!_ _Slk!_

My penis was wagging like crazy as my ass was pounded! I couldn't let up! I couldn't stop! X3

" _MMPH!GUH!MPH!MMMMMMMMPH!~_ 💓"

I pressed the syringes simultaneously!

My mouth filled with a slimy fluid that was very sweet~

I felt my penis start twitching violently and my anus clenched tightly around the dildo's shaft! But I kept smashing my butt against it! My pleasure hole was filled with more of the same slimy fluid and it began sloshing around inside~ It felt amazing, and the tension with the lubrication only made the dildo slip easily against my tight inner walls and prostate, causing me to feel absolute ecstasy and helping the cum exiting my hot member!

" _Hmmmmmm!~_ " I moaned into the dildo with whiny, hot pleasure~

My entire body shivered and tingled, and felt hot and cool in various places~

I swallowed what was in my mouth and pulled the dildo out of my mouth. I slipped the other one out of my butt, some of the fluid dripping from its tip and rolling between my legs, but I kept the rest inside me~

The solution going inside me on both ends was a little concoction recipe I had looked up online for fake cum. It consisted of water, corn starch, cream, and egg whites. The recipe also mentioned sprinkling some salt to give it that more realistic flavor, but instead, I passed on the salt option and used a sweet hazelnut coffee creamer. I liked the idea of cum tasting sweet like this, and it made me want more ^^

I looked down at the small mess I had left on my pink blanket and smiled~ I made a mess and felt very happy about it~

I laid down on my tummy and let myself space out for a few minutes. This was bliss~ I could be just about as loud as I wanted, which made it so much more enjoyable and easier to cum without using my hands. No tension here, just pretty little Yuuki n his rubber dick army~

It took me a while to get used to moaning and crying out, because people in general aren't accustomed to doing that when masturbating I imagine, since there's so little privacy for it in the first place, but after a few times, it felt less fake and more natural.

I would have used the third squirt cock, but I only have two hands, so no way to get all three to go at once.

I pushed myself up, satiated for the moment, but knowing after a five minute break, I would want more~

So I sat my bare butt on a towel I had folded in my computer chair earlier, and got online to shop around and watch anime for a while~

 _Vnnnnnn~_ 💓

"Hah!~ Ah!~Yah!~ "

With a frilly blue garter belt around my slender waist, blue see through stockings on my smooth legs, and a silly blue cupless bra — that was really just strings — over my popped out chest, I bounced on a dildo while on the balls of my feet!

My favorite color is blue, if you couldn't tell. ^^

I had two vibrating bullets taped to the sides of my hard penis' head, on low vibrate, and it was a phenomenal sensation.

 _Vnnnnnnnnnnnn~_

The dildo under my butt dug up inside me while my hands rested on two others attached to the backs of my desk chair and my folding chair.

This was a very tiring position, but it was worth it.

I had also been practicing my female voice for the past few months, using videos I found online, and I had it down pat by now. My own voice was now that of hentai and porn stars and made me joyous with sexual pleasure whenever I used it.

"Yaah! Ahh!-Ah!-Ah! -Ahh!~ "

 _Vnnnnnnnnnnnn~_ 💓

I elegantly stroked the two members hanging in my face, and gave them each their turn of a good sucking~

"Mmph!~Mph!~Mph!~Mph!~ "

 _Slk~slk~slk~slk~slk~slk~slk~slk~_

My hair was now a little longer and touching my shoulders at this point. I felt so pretty as it danced around when I did these things.

I had put on lip gloss, so my lips were now shimmering~

"Mm~mm~mm~mm~ "

My head bobbed into one dick, and then I pulled it out of my mouth—

 _Pop!~_

—and stuck the other in. I stroked my saliva over the one I had just pulled out, filling my room with more lewd sounds~

Slk~slk~slk~slk~

"Mph~hmmmph~ hhh~mmmph~ _ppppph~_ "

 _Vnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn~_ 💓

The dildo under me made sure to make itself the perfect distraction as it drove me crazy, plunging inside my pleasure hole, making me occasionally lose my rhythm sucking and jerking these eager futas wanting to cum all over my glasses and cute face~!

"Mmph!~ Mmmmmph!~ " I stroked the shaft of the other cock in my mouth.

I pulled it out and began stroking both of them, making more lewd sounds~ I panted, my tongue hanging out. I was probably making an absolutely lewd expression. I was a girly-boy getting plenty of what he deserved~

"Haah!~Ah!~ Ah!~ Ah!~ "

The bullets were making my penis sing~ So I reached down and turned up the speed~

 _Vnnnnnnnnnnnn~!_

" _Auuuuuuugh~!_ " My head whipped up as saliva rolled down my chin and my eyes widened behind my glasses.

I was going to cum in no time thanks to these things!

I kept bouncing, " _More! Hah!~_ _Gimme more! Nngh!~_ _Ah!~Fuck me harder!_ "

" _This naughty fem-boi wants cock really bad~_ " said one of the futas getting stroked by my hand.

"Yes!~ Give me your dicks~ "

" _You're such a slut Yuuki~_ " said the one driving her dick up into my butt. " _It's like you don't know how to say no._ "

"Ah!~Ah!~ Ah!~ Ah!~ " I bounced harder.

 _Slk!~Slk!~_ _Slk!~Slk!~_ _Slk!~_ _Slk!~_

" _He just loves dick too much~_ "

" _I hope you love cum too, cause I saved up a lot for you~_ "

"Yes please!~ Give me your cum!~ I love your futa cum toooo!~ "

 _Vnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn~!_

One of them petted me on the head, " _Don't worry, we'll give you what you want, but you'll have to work a little more for it~_ "

"Yes!~Yes!~Yes!~ Fuck me good!~ I want to earn it!~"

I reached down an turned up the bullet speeds.

 _Vnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn~!_ 💓

" _Yah!~_ "

I stroked the futa dicks in my hands faster, with a tighter grip!

" _Ah!-Shit, he's squeezing my dick so tight! I might cum right now!_ "

" _Same! His tight little ass is sucking me all up! I feel like I'm melting!_ "

" _Give me those luscious lips again~_ "

"Ah!— _Mmph!_ "

My head was forced onto one of the

" _Augh—yes! Fuck, Yuuki! You can suck my dick just right!_ "

" _Hey, you don't get to cum in his mouth! We must respect Yuuki's wishes. He wants a full facial~_ "

" _Mmgh~Just a little longer~_ " she grunted.

" _Guys, his ass is too tight, I'm gonna cum!_ "

" _Fuck, me too!_ "

Yuuki pulled off the dick in his tight mouth, "Hah!~Please cum!~ Let's all feel good!~ "

" _You're such a good boy, Yuuki~ Get ready, here we cum~_ "

" _I'm gonna blow my load!_ "

" _Ahhhhhh!_ "

I squealed out loud! " _YAAAAHHHHHH!~_ "

My hair and face were covered in thick, white loads of jizz! It splattered directly into my large, round glasses, and landed in my bangs where it hung there and jiggled.

My lusty gaping mouth caught plenty of it too~

The vibrations were getting to be too much and I felt my penis flex!

My own cum spewed out in a fountain, shooting up high above my head! =D

" _Ah! Fuck! I can't stop it! Take it all you dirty boy!_ "

Strings of cum landed across my chest and on my shoulders! It was all over my cheeks and chin!

My butt was filled to the brim with more cum, until it gushed out of my tight hole and spurted, making a mess on my sex blanket and rolling down the dildo~

"Ahhh~ " I moaned with my wide open mouth, cum splattered all inside. "Thank you for your sweet cum~ "

" _Thank you for being our special toy, Yuuki~_ " one of them winked down at me.

" _You'll always be our special fem-boy~_ "

Rain pattered against my bedroom window.

"Mm~...mmh~...ahh~ "

Slk~ ...slk~...slk~ ...

I was sitting leaned back in my computer desk chair, in my usual house clothes — the green cardigan, a nice long sleeve underneath and one of a couple pairs of my favorite white thigh highs, these had blue ribbons on the front of the hems.

Slk~...slk~...slk~...

" _Haaahh~hhh~_ ...ahhh~..."

My nighty shorts were lying near the edge of my desk, and I had pulled the waistband of my neko print panties down so my fully erect penis poked out of the top, toward my tummy, my tight balls held snuggly within the fabric~

Slk~...slk~ ...slk~...

It was a bit of a stretch on the fabric to get it out of the way so I could fit the dildo in my butt, but after doing this casually enough, it wasn't so hard anymore, and it didn't damage the fabric of my panties too much. Buying new pairs was a regular thing anyway.

"Mmmh~ hahh~"

I had a towel on my computer chair so none of my sweat or juices would get on the chair.

I gently slid the toy in and out of me, noticing how my penis twitched and leaked luv juices every time the dildo's head brushed past my prostate~

" _Mmh!~_ Ah~ Nngh~"

I listened to the rain pattering on my window and the trees swaying outside as a few hentai gifs I had pulled up on my computer screen played on loop. I would maximize one on occasion that I wanted to focus on in particular~

"Yaahh~ ...ughhh~..." My lusty expression moved from the screen to my window, and I couldn't help breathing a relaxed sign, "Hah~..."

This was heaven~

I pulled up the front of my long sleeve to expose my tummy and my chest, and clamped it between my tiny lips to keep it up. I pinched my nipple between two fingers on my free hand and began massaging it~

" _Mmmmmmmh~_ " I squealed~ It felt really good to squeal, and I had been getting good at it~

I sped up — Slk~ slk~ slk~ slk~ slk~ slk~

" _Hmmmmh~nnnnngh~_ " I felt myself clamping down tighter on my shirt as I felt up my breast.

Having a flat chest meant it took skill to be able to play with your breasts, but lots of practice had given me a good knowledge of my body and just what made me light up.

The dildo inside me was like a flexible rod of immense pleasure. I could feel the thick head gently massaging my insides at a pleasant pace.

" _Ahhh~_ " My toes stuck out straight under my computer desk and curled.

Slk~ slk~ slk~ slk~ slk~ slk~

Walking home in the rain had been one pleasant experience that had lead up to this one. It was a Saturday, which meant no school tomorrow, and the rest of a pleasant day today, with another one tomorrow.

I felt my penis getting really sensitive, but I wanted to enjoy this a little longer, so I slowed down a bit.

Slk~...slk~ ...slk~ ...slk~...

Gosh this dildo felt so good digging around inside me~

I twisted my nipple and felt electric waves of pleasure flow into the rest of my body.

" _Mmmmgh!~_ " My back straightened a little and relaxed.

Sex was so much better when someone went with the flow of what they were feeling and allowed their body to react to it, rather than staying perfectly still, for fear of making too much noise or movement and being overheard and/or caught. It was like a dance in every respect.

" _Nnnngh~hmmmgh!~_ " Slowly down was causing me to feel extra sensitive in various places, especially in my penis, in my butt, the lips of my hole, and my prostate.

I could feel the veins of the dildo sliding past my butt lips~ In~...Out~...In~...Out~...

" _Mmmm~nnnngh~mmmmMMMGH!~_ "

The dildo's head and its edges gave my prostate and my insides a good scrubbing~

" _Gnnngh~hmmm~_ "

It was getting to be too much! I started pounding my hole!

 _Slk~slk~slk~slk~_ _slk~_ _slk~_ _slk~_ _slk~_ _slk~_

It wanted it, it was begging this hard dildo to fuck it silly!

" _Mm!~mm~mm~mm!~_ _mm!~_ _mm~mm!~_ _mm~MM!~_ _mm!~_ " My voice hummed in high pitched squeaks as this ever-hard dick drove me crazy!

My feet started kicking a little under my desk, and I brought the other one up to rest on the edge of it to grab hold of something for support.

I pinched harder on my nipple and twisted, pulling it up as much as I could and my body shivered with ecstacy!

 _Slk~_ _slk~_ _slk~_ _slk~_ _slk~_ _slk~_ _slk~_

I zoned in on the images on my computer screen and felt exhilerated.

 _Slk~slk~slk~slk!~slk!~slk!~_ _slk!~_ _slk!~_ _slk!~_

" _Mmmmmgh!~_ _MMmhhmmgh!~_ "

It was happening again, my penis was getting really hard and sensitive!

" _Mmmmh!MMMMGH!~_ "

 _Slk!~_ _slk!~_ _slk!~_ _slk!_ _slk!_ _slk!slk!slk!_ _slk!_

" _MMGH!_ " My lips let go of my shirt as my fingers pinched harder! " _AH!-AH!-AH!-YAH!_ "

 _Slk!Slk!Slk!Slk!Slk!Slk!Slk!Slk!_

" _AH!-AH!-AH!-AHHHHHHHH!~_ "

My butt-hole tightened up around the rubber cock! My prostate swelled inside me, making it a much easier target for the dick head to ravage!

I watched lovingly as my penis twitched and shot cum all over the front of my shirt, causing the color and decals to turn darker as my fluids soaked into the fabric~

I continued pounding my cute butt, to get all of it out as I flexed my pelvis without thinking about it~

" _Mmmmmh!~_ _Yaaahhhh~_ " I cheered my penis on with my horny voice as it continued to shoot all over me without the help of my hands.

" _Ahhhh~Auuugh!~_ " I laid my head back as I slowed down plunging the dildo inside my horny ass~

My butt-hole twitched around the shaft, vibrating~ My penis twitched, poking out over my shirt~

I pulled the dildo out and set it on another towel I had on my desk with a bottle of lube.

I leaned back in my chair, with a panting smile, and watched the rain drops on my window...

I know it sounds a bit crazy and stupid, but one time I did get caught. And of course, it was by no one other than Chie =_=

She came home early from work while I was in the middle of getting plowed. I don't know how long she had been home, but I had been making a considerable amount of noise, much to my chagrin...

I remember hearing the sound of her door opening across the hall and immediately slipping the rubber dick out of my bum, and commencing to frantically clean everything up and get dressed.

It wasn't much, since I was doing a casual masturbation session, so I was in my house clothes, but I had taken my nighty short and panties off so I could be done from behind, doggy style~

" _Ah!-Ah!-Ah!-Ah!-Ah!AH!hhAH!_ _hhAH!_ _hhAH!—_ "

 _Kchnk~_

"..." O/O

Yeah...it was possibly one of the worst embarrassing moments of my life... / Second worst being my parents overhearing, if they were still home.

When I finally mustered the courage to leave my room, and it took a lot, I quietly stepped through the hall and into the dining room. I couldn't help wringing my hands in front of my nighty shorts, and my face felt like you could cook an egg on it...

I just knew she heard, so of course I was embarrassed! Who wouldn't be?! I wasn't even sure how she would react.

She had been sitting at the dining room table, looking through her phone, with some reheated leftovers in front of her and a cup of tea. I knew she was going to say something, she almost never did this after work!

Oh god, I hope she wasn't texting her friends that she just caught her otokonoko younger brother doing something naughty...

When I stepped in, she didn't hesitate to lift her head up from her 'reading' and give me the dumbest looking smirk! You know the kind... Konata Izumi does it to Kagami during the fan service episode.

"Did I interrupt something~?" Her eyes poked at me.

My hands tensed, my lips rumpled, and my eyes drifted across the floor. I couldn't bring myself to say anything...

"Hey, no worries, I've been there~" she set her phone down, "It was just a miscalculation on your part. You didn't count on the chances of an unexpected return." ^^

"..." I began walking to the fridge to get some milk, trying to ignore her prying stare.

Then all at once, she grabbed her coffee with the most fake excited expression.

"So was he good? It sounded like he was~" =3

"I!..." I had whipped around without meaning to explain myself, but this set me off, "It wasn't a guy!"

The embarrassment was so strong, I could only manage short, vented sentences.

"I know that, genius." ;3

"Wh-What?"

"So how big is he? I imagine at least 12.7 by 3.81?"

"H-How did you know?!"

"Because a majority of them are at least that big. Though, they do sell smaller ones... Anyways, I already knew you weren't just ordering _clothes_."

"It...it...it's none of your business!" in shouting this, I actually managed to inadvertently jerk my fists down while stamping my foot.

"Now that is just adorable~" she smiled more ^w^

"Mmmrr...!"

"I never actually thought I would get to say this to you with any sincerity, but don't get your panties in a wad~" she couldn't help giving me that amused, smug grin. "Most girls aren't curious about their brothers, but most girls' brothers aren't like you~ So forgive me if I'm a little curious and want to share."

I was fuming. I looked away, with my face still burning, I might add.

"Sounds like you've been practicing. You talk like yourself around me, but for a moment there, I thought you were watching porn. Can I guess you had something running on your laptop screen?" ;3

" _No..._ " not this time anyway, cause I was nowhere near my laptop, though I had set it in front of me before when doing doggy style.

"I guess your embarrassment can't be helped. I suppose it would be the same if you really were my sister," Chie took a sip from her cup and folded her fingers on the table surface. "Alright, so I'm going to be frank with you. I already know about one secret of yours, and I am most definitely keeping it to myself, so you really shouldn't get all bent out of shape if I know about a few others."

"St-still...it's private..."

"Mmhmm, but you gotta' admit, it wouldn't be that different if you weren't wearing whatever you were wearing in there when I got home, and doing it the way most guys do it."

"Yes, it would!"

"Oh really?"

"Yeah, I mean...it's not like guys...make...noises..."

"Neither do girls. At least, I know I've had to hold in some sounds. I envy people who have the privacy to be able to just belt it out like you."

I continued to open the fridge door and grabbed a milk glass, Chie watching me the entire time.

I took a drink, trying to calm my nerves, my hand was shaking.

Chie smirked, "Yup, I do that too after rubbing a few out~"

" _Pffff!_ "

The milk shot out my mouth and nose and I had to beat my chest to get it to go down.

"Hehe~ It's nice to treat yourself to those little rewards after having some fun."

I coughed as I tried to speak, "Are you going to start giving me lectures about how I use my privacy now?"

"No, but I would love it if we could talk here and there about some things. I just want you to know, I'm here if

you have questions. I'm your sister, and since mom and dad aren't around, it's really just us now. I mean, I was here before, wasn't I?"

"I'm not your little sister..."

"I know..." she gazed at me in a way that she had not for a very long time. It was a similar look she gave me back when I told her about Makoto, Kotonoha and _her_. "You're my brother...and I want to be there for you. If you're ever scared or confused, I want to know what's bothering you. I want to help in any way I can..."

She always poked fun at me, even when I looked like this, and it seemed sometimes like she got way too much fun out of it. But now, it was like, she was seeing through me...no, she was seeing through my outer image. At this point, what I looked like was not important, I was special to her. _That...that_ was exactly how I wanted people to see me. But I guess I could only expect family to see me that way, and it made sense. Who better to take care of you than family that understands you? I hadn't thought about it before, but she had been doing a lot for me. Maybe I should start seeing her the same way.

"So I guess this means you're okay with it..."

"My little brother dresses like a girl n' plays with dongs! Whoo-hoo!"

" _Don't say it like that!_ "

Her response was a banter of laughter.

After rubbing my head, because I thought I could feel a stress headache coming on, Chie cooled off.

"It's your business," she smiled, "and I don't want you to share it with me if you don't want to. But I will keep it secret, just like I hope you will keep my secrets. We're siblings, and siblings take care of each other. But I do have one condition..." she raised a finger.

Oh great, here it comes...

"This was your first chance to not get angry at me for poking fun at you because you got caught, so I'm going to let it slide. This is just another lesson about your carelessness and inability to be observant of your surroundings, so I think it will help you. I advise you be strategic in the future."

I finished taking another drink from my milk and twiddled some strands of my hair, "Strategic...?"

"Mhm. You need to be more wary. I know it would be great n' all if we each had our own, most desired slice of privacy, but given the circumstances, that ain't gonna' happen anytime soon. So you can't treat the situation like you're the only one living here, I'm sorry, that's just the brass tacks of it. When you consider how other people's lives are like, I would say we've got it easy, so it wouldn't kill you to show some restraint."

"I'm not following now."

"If you're going to make some noise, make sure I'm not home for it. And if it's at night, while I'm home, or any other time of the day while I'm home—"

"I don't do that!" this was a lie...

"As adorable as this side of you is, I'm your sister, and being around for even a minute of it is just enough to border on being plane creepy. I don't care what you do in private, healthy people do that stuff all the time. Just have some consideration for me as well. Keep it quiet, pleeease, for me~? If I knock, just talk to me like normal. I promise, I won't barge in anymore like before."

I looked to the side, "Don't have to tell me twice..."

"And if you slip up, don't be surprised if I take it out on you. And another thing. You've been spending a lot of time at home because you're usually dressed like that. When I say 'have some consideration for me', I also mean to try finding some reasons to go out and do something else for a change. It would be good for both of us. I'm a human too, ya know."

As weird as it sounded, she was right. I was cherishing all this available privacy, and at the same time, hogging it from her.

"Be a good little brother and maybe I'll get you something special you can cosplay in when you're having your fun time."

" _No thanks._ "

"Besides, remember all those times when you knocked and I didn't answer?"

"W-wait...you were—"

"Mmhm~" ^_^

"I-I thought you were just ignoring me to get under my skin..."

"A little bit of that too, but only a little~" ;P

"S-so...do you...have..."

" _Several_ , in many colors and textures~" that smile became a little devious. "Oh, I just love that we can talk about this!" she burst. "By the by, what kind is yours? Is it a rotor, or a vibrator?"

" _Ugh._ "

"Oh! Does it thrust? Or does it shoot wonderful liquid~?" ^_^ "It would be great if they made ones that had all those features, with a suction cup! But I'm sure they would be pricey."

"Stop it!" it was so embarrassing, I put my hands to my ears.

"Hehe, sorry~" she tapped her fist against her head ;P "Guess I got a little carried away. We'll get to those questions when you're up to it."

"No! Brothers and sisters shouldn't talk about this stuff, it's too weird!"

"Hey, we're both human beings, and you're not the typical little brother."

"Didn't you say you didn't care what I did in private, or that you didn't want to be around for it?"

"I did, but I didn't say we couldn't talk about it. I talk about this stuff with Keiko and Rei sometimes, but it's not like I want to be around for when they get all hot n' heavy with their toys and a few erotic books."

"Jeez, you're treating me like one of your girlfriends!"

"It's not a bad thing, Yuuki."

"Hmph..." I looked away indignantly, unable to answer.

"Mmm, I guess you'll understand in time."

It wasn't a bad thing, I just had trouble accepting it. I guess I had not come to full terms with things at that point. I didn't realize that this meant Chie and I were probably becoming more like a brother and sister than we ever had been before... She was wanting to include me in on things, and actually have fun.

This was how things ended between us sometimes, but I got the sentiment. Message well received, sis, thank you...

I stood, still feeling a little flush, but with all kinds of relief flowing through me. It felt good. She loved me no matter what, and ever since the incident, she wanted to share things with me. Personal, special things that we wouldn't normally talk about to just anyone.

"Oh, Yuuki~?"

When I turned, she was chuckling to herself again.

"Sorry, just let me have this one, I have to get it out," she chuckled some more before speaking. "So all this, does it mean you're playing for _my_ team now?"

"What?"

"Want me to take you out guy hunting?"

My teeth gritted, "No! It doesn't mean that!"

"Hehe! Sure you're not swinging _that_ way?"

"No! I'm not! Jeez!"

I stormed into the hall and could hear her calling from the dining room, still laughing.

"Then maybe it's both ways?!"

"I'm not bi!"

At least, I wasn't sure if I was. ^_^;


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6**

Today, everything in my life has smoothed out for me, and I feel much better off than I was before. I think it's that I've taken on more of a zest in life. I've added to myself, and made it a part of who I am. It was technically who I was from the beginning, which explains why I gravitated to it so easily.

I feel much calmer now with my new lifestyle. I'm able to be more of myself.

My hair grew out to the length I desired long ago, so now everyone knows me as Yuuki Ashikaga with the long hair and blue tips. Everyone took to it a little strangely, but after a while, it caught on and more people began accepting it. I keep it in a ponytail on occasion when I'm at school. Only a few times did friends of mine mention in passing that I looked more like a girl than ever before, which I replied with casual humor that maybe I should start a modeling campaign. Also, I've been going out crossed regularly — I usually just say that I'm going out — and it's made it easier for me to get my hair styled at a salon, to buy cosmetics, or to buy new toys from a sex shop.

This was my life, and I was looking forward to more of what the future had to hold~

I was eating lunch and it was just a casual school day when Taisuke suddenly burst into the classroom and rushed over to me.

"Yuuki! I screwed up! I screwed up royally man!"

I smacked my hand on my desk, "No! Don't tell me you got her pregnant!"

"What?! No dude! Are you kidding?" Taisuke looked at me funny.

"Oh thank God..." that was scary. "Phew, sorry, you had me going."

"N-No! What brought that up all of a sudden?"

"W-Well, you and Kuroda have been going out for a while, and you have become pretty close, so when you showed up panicking, I sorta'...thought the worst? Eh-heh..."

Taisuke crossed his arms, "Not that it's any of your business, but we have done what you're implying, a few times, but just who do you take me for, man? I'm careful, I'm not going to take too many risks, you know me!"

I frowned, "Actually no, not well enough..."

"Gimme a break. Anyways, that's not the problem."

"Well it must not be that urgent, since you could take a moment to explain yourself..."

"Kuroda's birthday was yesterday, and I didn't know what to get her and I still don't know what to get her, and now it's too late..." tears started pouring down Taisuke's cheeks as I stared blankly at him.

"You two spend almost every day together, how can you not know what to get her...?"

Taisuke slammed his hands on my desk and got right up in my face, "I wanted to think of the perfect present, but I couldn't and now I don't know what to do!"

"Okay-okay, back up a bit, I'm eating here..." I pushed him away, "I guess it makes sense you would overdo buying her a present. She's your first n all."

"Please, I need your help man. She likes a lot of specific stuff, but..." he pressed his fingertips together, "I thought you could help me out, since you're more of the female persuasion that me..."

" _Ack—!_ "

Oh yeah, I forgot to mention that I told Kuroda and Taisuke about my new lifestyle over a year ago.

A tension mark twitched on my forehead, "Yeah...but that doesn't mean you get to come to me with these problems every single time..." I clenched my fist, "I'm not a crystal ball..."

"Please man, c'mon..."

"Alright-alright..." I sighed, "After school, I'll take you shopping with me. Gimme a few minutes to get changed, I know you want me along so you don't look awkward going into the women's specialty shops..."

Taking Taisuke shopping around was...interesting. It wasn't my first time being out with him while I dressed this way. Kuroda urged that I should dress however I liked when they were around, and not be worried about keeping up my old attire for their sake, so I tagged along with them like this a few times, and even got hit on by a few guys because they thought I was a sad third wheel xD

Taisuke was indecisive about all the things I showed him that would have been perfect potential gifts for Kuroda. Btu I eventually got him to settle on a pretty necklace with a heart that wasn't too expensive.

"I'll pay for this, but you have to pay me back later, kay~ " I said to him in my female voice, causing the clerk to give him an odd stare, since he was making a pretty "girl" like me pay for his gift.

He told me her party was this weekend and that I could come. So I told him, though he missed her actual birthday, that would be a perfect time to give her the present. I also told him to stop stressing the new girlfriend thing, a present is a present. Being picky wasn't so much a gender thing as it was a personality thing — for example, I'm a bit picky about my makeup.

"I'm home~"

"Hey bro~"

Chie was home early today.

I changed out of the stylish clothes I had been wearing when out shopping with Taisuke and into my house clothes. It was cold out, since it was the day before winter break, so I put on my hanten to stay warm~

And it was off to my computer to game and watch anime while planning in my head all the things I would do during the break~

 _Ding dong~_

Chie would get the door. Hopefully it wasn't the delivery guy dropping off a toy purchase I made two days ago, that would be awkward~

"Yuuki, could you get that~?" Sis was in the living room watching television. Of course she would want me to get it, since I was standing.

"Mrrrgh..." =_=

My thigh high socks padded on the floor until I opened the door—

I stopped.

I couldn't believe my eyes.

I couldn't even manage to speak.

Her eyes stared back at me from under her purple bangs, and blinked...

She looked shocked, but at the same time, not all that surprised, if that's an accurate description.

I think both our mouths were open, and we didn't really know what to say.

"R-Roka..." I finally spouted.

"Mmm..." she blushed heavily, and began wringing her school bag between her hands.

Birds chirped in the trees off our road as the sun had begun setting in the distance.

And then I just realized I had said her name in my guy voice, while dressed as my casual fem self.

 _Dammit!_

I winced.

 _Now she knows!_

"I-I..." she didn't seem all that phased actually. Or maybe she was just keeping it to herself. She had seen me like this two years ago, after all...

"Wh-What're you doing here...?" I decided to go along and not make myself look like a fool by trying to cover it up.

"I..."

"Oh hey, Roka~" Chie suddenly approached from behind. "You texted me like, an hour ago, what took you~?"

"I...urm..." Roka fidgeted.

"Sis, you didn't tell she was going to be coming by."

"Of course I didn't~" ^^

"A heads up would have been nice."

"She came by to see you."

"She…" I stopped again.

Why…why would Roka want to come by and see me? After she had been avoiding and ignoring me for the past two years, why…? Why now…?

"Roka, why don't you come in?" Chie smiled and opened the door wider for her.

Chie made tea and set our cups down on the kitchen table. "Well, I guess you two have a lot of catching up to do, so I'll be in the living room."

She grabbed a soda from the fridge and left to sit on the couch.

The tv continued playing one of Chie's afternoon shows while Roka and I were left in the awkward pause that was sure to come after Chie had muttered the words 'she came to see you~'.

Roka had visited before. The first time we met, I heard a noise that concerned me, and so I walked out of the bathroom in my boxers and wound up with cake in my face when Roka threw it at me, screaming that I was a pervert. We had met earlier that day under similar circumstances, but that's a story for another time.

Right now, she was looking around, obviously familiar with the place, but noticing some differences, since she had not come over in two years, at least not to my knowledge.

I wondered what she thought of me in this moment… I typically didn't care anyone what people thought of me when I'm dressed the way I am right now, or when I put on some nice clothes for going out in, so it was strange to actually be concerned about this all of a sudden…

Maybe it's because she knows now, and isn't behaving all that adversely about it. And about that, why is she not behaving like I'm a freak or a weirdo, or a pervert right now, what's up with that?

I always assumed that if Roka of all people knew this about me, she would lose her head, or at least seem too cautious around me. But right now, she was behaving rather calmly.

"Wh…Why did you want to see me?" I asked.

She turned and looked at me. It wasn't judgmental or skeptical in the least, from what I could tell.

"I…"

That had to be the third time she started a sentence, but couldn't continue it.

How could anyone not understand, after what happened so long ago, her avoiding me, then finally getting up the courage to see me, and when she does see me, I'm walking around the house in nighty shorts, thigh highs, and a cardigan. Anyone like her would be a bit taken aback.

"It's okay…" I said.

We sat down and she took a sip from her cup.

"I just…wanted to see you…okay…?" She managed to mumble.

"Any reason why…?"

She paused a moment, and I think I saw her blushing again, before she shook her head.

"You just wanted to see me."

"…" She nodded.

I don't know how long we sat in silence like that, with Chie's show playing in the background.

She couldn't have just wanted to see me again. Sudden visits like this don't pop up for no reason, but I wasn't about to press her.

"How have you been?" I asked.

"Oh, I've been good…sort of."

"Sort of?"

"I'll…I'll tell you why…"

"You don't have to right now."

"Kay…" She seemed a bit relieved. "H-How are you?"

This conversation was turning a bit casual, for me looking like a girl and really being a boy and her knowing all about it, haha…

"I'm well…" I smiled at her.

Pretty well indeed, as a matter of fact~

"Ah…okay…" this seemed to make her shrink up.

I guess she thought I might be concerned about things. I was, but it hadn't been in my forethought for a long time. I guess I was too busy figuring myself out…maybe these memories were destined to come back around. I mean, we were both eighteen and in our final year of school… It would suck if it all ended and I never got to see the girl that gave me a new lease on life again… If it weren't for here, I wouldn't be sitting here, talking to her…

I wondered what she saw when she looked back at me… Another girl? Or maybe a girlish counterpart of myself…?

"I…sort of already knew…about your…" She pointed at me while blushing.

She did?

"Oh, oh yeah," I eyed my house clothes. "Was it a shock?"

Roka had her hands between her thighs and was rubbing them to keep them warm. It was something I did a lot too, but she seemed nervous.

"N-No…not really…"

"As in you expected me to be dressed like this…?" I raised an eyebrow.

Do I come off as THAT fem?!

She giggled, "No, stupid. I…it just didn't bother me, that's all…"

"Then…" I wondered if I should ask this… "Then why haven't you said anything to me…?"

She tucked her chin, "For later…"

I smoothed the warm mug in my hands, "Okay…"

"But Chie was the one that told me all about it…"

What the hell, Chie?!

"How long ago…?" I asked calmly.

"About a year ago, I think, maybe more…"

Sounds like it was right about the time that I came out and showed her what I had been up to!

"Did she tell anyone else?"

"No…it was…special…"

Phew~ Wait, special? What does she mean by that?

Great, my sister has a special secret club going for girls that know about my girly ways… =_=

"She urm…she didn't mean to tell me for bad reasons… It's not what you think…"

I wasn't tense with my voice, but I was clenching the mug in my hand rather tightly…

"Alright…" I tried to relax.

"C-Can we go to your room…?"

I gave her a sort of expression that said I wasn't entirely entertained with any of this, but was willing to go along with it.

"Yeah, why not…"

I gave Chie a blank glare that she pretended not to notice as we passed the living room. I had a pretty good idea of what was going through her head.

In my room, Roka continued to wander around as if she hadn't seen the place in ages, which technically was true. If Chie had ever snuck her over here, it was likely my room would be one of the last places she would want to go, even if she did know about my skirt wearing change.

Frankly, I might be feeling what she felt, since the last time she had been in here had been right after she saved my life. When she prevented me from going over the deep end.

My desk and other parts of my room probably didn't look anything like they had before, with trinkets and papers and other clutter on them.

"It's changed a lot since I was last here…" She wondered as she looked. "Just like you~"

She smiled at me.

I let a relaxed smile escape me.

"Was it scary…?" She asked. "Changing, I mean…"

I don't think anyone that knew had ever asked me a question like that. I don't think I had ever imagined someone asking me that question.

"A little…" I muttered as I idly pushed my swivel chair back and forth. "I think the adventure was what made it less scary."

"Ah." She nodded. "What about when you told Chie?"

" _That_ was very scary…" O_O

She giggled, "I'll bet~"

She sat on my bed and kicked her feet a little.

"Are you happy with it…?"

"I am," I smiled to myself wholeheartedly, "I think…even if I decided to not do it anymore, I would never regret this."

"Good…"

I looked up at her! This startled me a bit.

Roka was watching me, "I think it's good that you made this decision for yourself. You worked so hard for everyone else's happiness, I wondered if you would ever embrace your own…"

She said this to me, and I wondered if it was the same girl I had known two years ago saying it to me.

"And…that is…I kinda like it…" /

This was only a whisper, but in the quiet of my room, I heard every bit, and my blown mind caused my hand to let go of my chair, making it swivel and brush into a stack of manga and papers on my desk, causing them to fall over…

"Uh!" Roka started.

I barely noticed as I stared at her, my mind blank…

"You like it…?"

"Urm…!" She fidgeted on the edge of my bed, her face turning reder by the moment. "Y…y-yes…I like it a lot…" /

Why was I so blown away by this?!

It was one thing that Chie was okay with it. It was one thing that Kuroda and Taisuke were okay with it, and had more or less predicted it, Taisuke in particular really liked it, but he was a delightful moron and a friend. For someone to be okay with something, that meant that they were typically indifferent about it. I'm sure that if one day I had decided not to dress this way anymore, Chie, Kuroda and Taisuke would have been a little bothered by it, because they might wonder if something was bothering me, because my crossdressing had been accepted as the norm. But in general, no one like Roka had really indicated that they liked it in this way. Like…it was something special.

"I think it's cute…" /

I guess she figured she might as well go all the way and say that she really liked otokonoko, with an otokonoko right in the same room as her.

"Roka…I'm happy you do…"

"Y-You do?!"

"Yeah…in fact, I think I feel just fantastic that you do…"

I was slowly discovering that Roka was quite fujoshi~

"It's a secret that I've had for a while… I told Chie sometime after she told me you were doing it… And I…" Suddenly she scrunched up her shoulders, balling her fists close to her chin, and it looked like she was on the verge of going out of breath. "Mmmmm…!"

"Hold on, take it easy," I came and sat next to her.

Roka started breathing and trying to steady herself.

Suddenly she turned to me, "I think it's really cute, and I think you're really cute and brave for doing it, Yuuki!"

I think I suddenly realize what it was like for Chie when I came out and confessed my interests and tastes.

"I said it…" Roka gasped. "I don't care if it makes me a freak or a pervert…"

"Roka…" I wanted to touch her shoulder really badly right now… "You're not a freak or a pervert… If people think you're a pervert for liking it, imagine what they'll think of me…"

Roka sniffled, holding back her tears, "Yeah…" She was delighted and relieved, it seemed.

"I think that as long as a person has their interests, and they do not hinder other people's wellbeing, or hurt the person themselves, those interests can hardly be considered harmful, no matter how strange they may be."

Roka stared back at me, before her lips made a little smile, "Mm. Because then they're free."

I was smiling back at her, before I realized our hands were on the bed and practically touching. I could almost feel her warm, soft fingers right next to mine…

She noticed too.

They brushed together, and I looked up back into her eyes…

"Y-Yuuki…"

"Roka…"

"Pffff! Aahahahahaha!" Chie's muffled laughter suddenly burst from the living room.

I couldn't tell if Chie wasn't aware, or if she was making a lot of noise so Roka and I wouldn't do anything too naughty with her in the other room.

"Uuum…" O_O

"Yeah…" ^_^;

We both sighed, but my heart was pounding like crazy. I think I could feel Roka's heart pounding through her fingers.

We're Roka and I about to do it, after not speaking with each other for two years…

/

I guess it was good Chie was here. We probably shouldn't rush things…

"Wanna take a walk?" I asked, my nervousness clear in my voice.

"S-Sure." ^_^;

The sun was still setting outside and the cloudy winter sky was a vibrant orange shade.

Roka had her coat on over her uniform, while I put on a nice pair of boots that I really liked, and my own women's wool coat. I noticed Roka kept looking at me, and while she tried to hide it, she didn't try very hard.

"You didn't seem all that surprised to see me," I sort of asked as we walked along the street.

"That's because I sort of followed you when you were with Taisuke…"

This was a surprise, but I simply looked at her before looking back at the sidewalk.

"Please don't think I've been stalking you. It was only this one time, because I wanted to talk to you…"

I guess that's why she texted Chie so long before showing up.

"I understand. I guess I would have done the same. I sure stalked Makoto a lot…back when he was still alive…"

"Mm." She nodded.

"I didn't originally just decide to start wearing girl's clothes, though I don't fault anyone for deciding to do that. It doesn't matter how someone comes across it, really. I just came across it by circumstance, because of Makoto."

"I see. Have you met with any other otokonoko?"

"Now that's something I've been thinking about doing for a while…" I put my finger to my lips.

"Would you…be alright if someone came along…?"

"So you can checkout guys?" I smirked at her.

"N-N-Nooo! That is—I mean!"

"Hehe it's alright~" I looked ahead. "I don't believe in the harsh standards placed on relationships anymore either. It's impossible for a person to only have eyes for the person they're in a relationship with. As long as their heart and body are reserved to that person, their thoughts should remain their own. I think it shows more strength between two people if they can share with each other what people they're attracted to, instead of being jealous about it all the time."

"Wh-When you say relationship…"

"Oh—ahhh…" I tucked my chin into my coat.

Gosh, that one came back to bite me…

"But yeah…" Roka tucked her chin too. "I see what you mean…"

"Yeah~ You shouldn't feel ashamed for checking out guys."

"That's…rather mature of you…"

"I never thought I'd hear you saying that about me," I smiled.

"Hehe yeah~"

We continued on to a park near a canal and watched the water and people as the sun set behind us.

"So what now?" She asked. "Do you think you'll be able to continue like this?"

"I do, but it will come with its challenges, though I view those as minor. It has to do with my interests and tastes, when you put it in the right perspective. Like, with any other job, I would want to show up to my interview dressed normal, as well as my days working there. I need to treat it like a bit of a hobby at times like that. Or, I could always get a job at a maid cafe that accepts otokonoko."

"That sounds nice~" Roka was blushing again, probably imagining me taking orders and getting felt up on occasion. "Maybe I could get that job with you..." She looked nervous again.

"Only if you absolutely wanted it. And that's something I would only do temporarily, at least until I could maybe get a job at a publishing company, or get my writing career started."

"Yeah, you always loved reading books~" She smiled.

"I've been writing plenty of hentai lately~" ;3

" _Gmph!_ " Roka gulped and blushed even harsher at me.

"I want to write lots of adventurous stories..." I stared out to the park. "If I could do that, enjoy my life and live well, that would be the best thing, to me..."

"Urm...I want to play pro basketball..." Roka fidgeted.

"I thought so~ You're really popular and your winning streak this year has been insane..."

Roka was really short, like me, so it wasn't likely she'd be a star slam-dunker like any of the taller girls in the league, but she had been good at offense, and learned to use her size and speed against her opponents by being able to evade and weave around them so she could get the ball to the taller members on her team.

"Th-Thank you..." She mumbled and squirmed. "Does that mean you've been watching me?"

" _Ah-um_..." I scrunched up inside my coat again. "Y-Yeah..."

When I peeked over at her, I noticed she was smiling at me.

"If I don't make it going pro, I want to work at a gym. I really like physical fitness and helping people stay healthy..."

"Then I'll support you in that," I raised my head.

"And I want to support you in your writing. I don't read a lot, I know I should..."

"It doesn't matter. Lots of people don't read anymore. Just your support is enough," I could not stop this warm feeling on my face, though it was 4 degrees Celsius outside.

"Yuuki..."

I watched her.

She stood from the railing and faced me, her hands held together in the cold air, breath wafter from her cute lips.

"Urm...I came here today...because this is our final year of school...and I didn't want to miss you without getting to say this...so, uh...Yuuki, I... I love you!"

I stayed leaning against the railing, my lips parted, blinking at her.

"A-And it's not because you're otokonoko. I know the way I behaved two years ago was stupid. I should have been honest with you. I shouldn't have tried to hide this from you, but I thought you would have been disgusted with me..." tears were rolling from her eyes in the setting sunlight. "But I loved you back then, Yuuki, even as I love you now. It took me a long time to realize just how much I loved you, but I wanted to say it to you then, and I couldn't. I'm a coward. I'm not brave like you..." She gasped and wiped her face. "So if you don't love me back, I understa—"

I stormed up to and grabbed her hand in mine, holding it close between our chests. Her fingers were cold and shaking from how scared she was. I've never seen Roka this scared...

"You're not a coward, Roka..." I stared into her quivering eyes from behind my specs. "I owe my life to you..." My throat had a dry lump in it. "You rescued me, do you remember that? When I had forgotten just how precious life was, and was about to waste it, you reminded me. You gave me a talking to and managed to smack some sense into me that night..."

"Yuuki..."

"It took some time, but I began to realize what I had been missing out on. Thanks to you, Roka, I was able to experience life more fully... It's because of you...that I now understand all the wondrous things this life has to offer that are so far beyond the wretched things that I witnessed in that year... _I_ was the coward. _You're_ the brave one, Roka. You opened my eyes..."

"No..." fresh tears rolled down her cold cheeks, "You're brave..."

She leaned up and I closed my eyes.

With all the lewd stuff I had done in the privacy of my own home, I had never once kissed a girl, or anything else. I don't think it could have been as soft as I imagined.

I guess Roka didn't expect her first kiss to be with a boy wearing lip gloss, but she seemed to like it, because she pushed in more, "Mm~ "

When we pulled apart, we couldn't stop staring into each other's eyes.

"I want to share this life with you..."

"Me too..."

We kissed again

"Whoa, look! Lesbians!"

We were stopped by some kids playing nearby.

"Get outta' here, annoying little brats!" Roka barked.

"Ah! The manly one is angry now! Hahaha!"

"Run away!"

Roka stared after them, clenching her fists.

"It's alright~" I smiled and she whipped around with a confused expression. "You get used to it." I winked.

Later, that same evening.

"Whoa! This is where you go to buy this stuff?!"

"There are lots more websites like it~"

I had Roka on my laptop, looking at a wide display of dildos on one of my favorite sites.

"Haah~ ha~a~a~a~h~" Roka was trying to hide it, but she was drolling on herself.

"Pick one and I'll buy it for you~"

"No Yuuki, I—"

"But I want to."

"Oh..." she curled up and squirmed in the chair. "Okay~ "

"And if you don't think it's moving too fast, I'll show you what I have~"

"Wh-What you have?!" I wondered if that blush would ever leave her face.

That was when we made our first sex toy purchase together. I helped Roka, my girlfriend, buy her first dildo~

Ever since that, life has been just...awesome~

I have way more than I could ever ask now. Our final year of school was almost over, I was living my life the way I chose, and I have a girlfriend that not only loves me and what I do, but wants to build her own life with mine.

In spring, after we got home from school on a Saturday, Chie was still at work of course, and wouldn't be home until later that evening, so Roka and I had all afternoon~

Roka's legs were spread as she sat on my bed, with me between them~

"Mmmph~slllk~...mmm~fff~mmmph~slllk~ "

With straps around her hips and thighs, a long, thick beige dildo stuck up from her bare crotch, with her school skirt hanging over the rest. I was currently in the process of sucking it with fervor~

"You look really cute doing this~" She blushed down at me. "Even though I can't feel a thing, but the egg inside me helps that~"

Vnnnnnnnnnn~

She was referring to the wire sticking out of her vagina and curling out from under her leg into a remote tucked into one of the straps of the strap-on harness around her waist.

I was wearing my house clothes, but my chest was bare, with only my nighty shorts, thigh highs, and my panties getting taught from my throbbing erection~

"Ahhlll~" I liked it and started stroking it. "It would be pretty hot if it were your real penis, but then I'd miss your vagina after a while. If only there were some magic way to give you one temporarily."

"Yeah! And if there were, it would be twice this size! It would be fifty times bigger than yours! Hahaha~ And I would smash you all the time with it! I would ruin you~! Your tight ass would never be too far away from me~"

"As long as you give me lots of chocolate and gifts~" ^_^ I clapped my hands together by my cheek cutely~

Roka sighed, "Man...you make it really difficult to embarrass you..." =_=

But then I gulped as I stroked her, feeling an extra pulse in my panties while imagining Roka walking around with a monster cock, "I guess girls grow up with some kind of a penis envy, don't they..."

"Yeah, when I was in middle school and found out that boys didn't have the same genitalia, I became pretty curious..." she blushed.

"Th-That's a bit late to discover something like that...though I guess I'm no different. I didn't know about vaginas until that age..."

I smiled up at my girlfriend before going back to sucking her off~

 _Spt~_

"Ah! Don't smack me with it!" I rubbed my stinging forehead where she mushroom stamped me with her shlong.

Roka had her hand around part of the floppy shaft and started stroking it with my spittle all over it, "Hurr~hurr~ git beck tuh suckin' muh dick, lil' missy~"

"Gosh, _if only_ every coercive macho guy looked as cute as you..."

O/O Roka looked away, a deep blush on her face, making the dildo wobble a little. "Sh-Shut up, Yuuki... You're gonna make me cum saying stuff like that with this egg inside me..."

Vnnnnn~

"W-Wanna get started...?" She stuttered.

"Sure~"

I crawled onto the bed and spread my legs in a doggy style~

"Heh~heh~ Yeh~ Spread dem legs a lil' further~" She wagged the dong over my cheeks.

 _Spt!~_

" _Ah!_ "

She smacked one of my butt cheeks with it!

"Hey!" I turned my head.

"Heh~heh~"

 _Spt!~Spt!~Spt!~Spt!~_

" _Ah!~Ah!~Ah!~Augh!~Ah!~_ "

I didn't do anything as she began smacking both of my cheeks back and forth.

"Yuuki, c'mon, I know you like this, look, you're getting really hard~"

My face was all warm as I looked between my legs to see my panties really taught with my penis sticking straight up!

"Yup, no doubt about it, my boyfriend loves me spanking him with my big hard cock~" She teased and smoothed my butt cheeks.

"J-Just don't get too carried away..." I muttered timidly.

"But you love it when I do~ Now, let's get these off, you're soaking them~" Roka pulled my panties down my butt cheeks and unhooked my penis from them, giving it a quick loving stroke.

She applied a little more lube to the dildo and began stroking it noisily~

Shlk~shlk~shlk~shlk~shlk~shlk~

"Now, get ready for another awesome pounding~ "

She wedged it up between by putt cheeks and began rubbing it slowly. It felt so cool and moist~

"Ahhmm~" I nuzzled my blankets with my face, "Roka~"

I could feel her pushing the head gently against my tight hole~

She prodded me a little, making our petite bodies rock, before her head slowly began sinking inside. Anal lips welcomed her happily~

"Ah~" She gasped. "You're still so tight~ Even after fucking you so many times!" She didn't really mean this because she couldn't feel it, but she loved to say stuff like that. We built up our own fun rapport for doing these things~

"Y-You're digging so deep inside me..." I blushed.

She sat inside me a moment, with the egg vibrating in her vagina. Then she reached down and turned of up the rate.

 _Vnnnnnnnnnn~_

"Ahh~!" She pulled back, and thrust back inside me!

Shlk!~

" _Yah!~_ " I yelped!

"Ah!~Ah!~Mmph!~" Her hips began moving, making her skirt sway as she plunged deeper and deeper inside me!

My penis was going nuts! The tip was so hot and sensitive!

I lifted my head up to look forward and cried out, "Ah!~Ah!~Ah!~Yah!~"

"You like that Yuuki?~ " She smoothed my butt cheeks as she sloshed around inside me.

"Y-Yah! You're churning me up inside!~"

"Ah!~Ah!~Ah!~" Roka's grunts and pants were so cute!

She sped up, plunging inside my snatch much quicker!

"Yah!~Hah!~Nngah!~ " My body began rocking with her thrusts.

"You're so cute, Yuuki! "

"You too, Roka! I love it when you do these things to me!"

"Ahhh!~ " She thrust inside me even harder, giving me more love!

She turned of the speed of her egg.

 _VNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!~_

"Y-Yuuki! My legs are all wet! You're making me so hot!"

"The way you're touching me is driving me crazy! I gonna cum Roka!"

"Not yet, wait for me!"

She began smacking inside me harder!

 _Slk!~Slk!~Slk!~Slk!~Slk!~Slk!~Slk!~Slk!~_

" _Yaaaaahhhh!~_ " My head was rocking violently, making my hair sway! "R-Roka!~ Fuck me with your big manly cock!~"

She reached forward and grabbed my breasts, smoothing them.

I got up on my knees and we began kissing over my shoulder while she drove up inside me~

"Ah-mmph~mmm~ch~ "

"Mmmph~mmm~ _fff~_ "

Her hands began feeling up all over, one of them massaging and squeezing my nipple while the other brushed over my stomach, all while her hips were gently pushing up and down, making her thick member slide in and out of me.

I leaned forward again and she grabbed me by the arms so I couldn't struggle, and began using them like handles, fucking me as hard and as fast as she could!

 _SHLK!~SHLK!~SHLK!~SHLK!~SHLK!~SHLK!~SHLK!~_

" _AH!~AH!~AH!~AH!~AH!~AH!~YAH!~YAH!~YAH!~_ " My eyes were wide behind my glasses as my mouth gaped and squealed in ecstasy.

"It's happening Yuuki! I'm gonna cum!"

 _SHLK!SHLK!SHLK!SHLK!SHLK!SHLK!SHLK!SHLK!_

The speed of her thrusts caused my dick to tense and get extremely hard.

" _I'm gonna cum!_ " I cried.

" _Y-Y-YUUKIIIIII!~_ 💓💓💓💓💓"

" _ROKAAAAAA!~_ 💓💓💓💓💓"

My dick twitched several times and I could feel something exiting it!

I could feel Roka's hips smacking against my butt cheeks, and slowing down.

My whole body felt hot and cool at the same time. Roka was so hot against me.

Her dick sloshing inside me felt wonderful~

She slowed down to a stop. The room was filled with our heavy breathing.

"Haah~hahh~hah~hah~"

She didn't pull out, but leaned over me and we fell on the bed together, as she held me from behind. I could feel her breath on my shoulder as she hugged me close, and I caressed her arms. I could feel a thick wet spot on the bed from me, and the inside of Roka's thighs were soaking wet against mine~

"Let's do this all day~" she gasped against my ear. "And watch that new hentai that came out~"

"Yeah~" I hugged her arms.

"But I want my turns too."

"Of course, I wouldn't have it any other way."

We had discussed getting one of those strapless strap ons one day, so she wouldn't always have to use a vibrator of one kind or another. But we always managed to have our fun~

After a few minutes, she rolled me over on my back and shoved back in.

"I don't know if I like your back, or your cute face more~" She smiled down at me from on her knees while my legs were folded up like an M.

"I like this very much, because I get to see all the cute expressions you make~" I smiled up at her.

"Yuuki..." Roka leaned down and kissed me, pushing herself up, deeper inside me.

"Mmmh~ "

I got harder and hotter against her the more we touched, and she began feeling hotter and wetter.

Our lips separated with a string of our saliva between them.

Her hips began moving again.

"Hahh~...hah~..."

"Hhh~...hahh~..."

It was several minutes of us breathing on each other, staring into each other's eyes as she drove her rode inside me.

With someone like her to be in love with, I cared even less for what the world expected of us. We did things our own way, together.

Her hand ran along my side, tantalizing my hip, down over my butt cheek, which she squeezed~ then under my thigh, which she pulled up so my knee pointed up. Roka really knew how to make me feel pretty~

I could tell she liked it too. Our bodies fascinated each other. I was a boy that could be girly and boyish, and she was a girl that could be boyish and girly. We both liked what we liked, and shared with one another.

I undid her uniform's vest and undershirt. She pulled off the vest, but let the coattails of the shirt flutter around me. I reached behind her back and undid her bra with ease from working with a lot of similar attachments on my own clothes~

I pulled it out and tossed it aside so she was bare chested underneath. It was hard to tell from looking at her with clothes on, but Roka was a solid B-cup. Her clothes tended to make her look flat chested, which was still cute

I reached up and touched one.

" _Mm~_ " /

She was so hot and tender.

She worked her hips in waves, making her cock plunge inside me and grind against my prostate~

"Hahh~hah~hammmph~" She lowered her head and planted her lips on one of my nipples while squeezing and massaging the other.

" _Ahh~nnmmm~_ " it sent more electricity through my body, making feel like I was going to cum any moment as I bit my knuckle.

I continued to grope and massage her breast, while caressing her neck.

My penis was being pushed against her stomach. It felt amazing~

" _Tss~tsss~_ " She sucked hard on my nipple!

"Hahh~ _ahhhh~_ " I grabbed her breast and neck a little tightly.

"Fuahh~" She lifted up and gave it a few licks.

" _Nnnngh~_ "

"Okay~" She sat up on her knees again, making her hand glide sensually along my stomach, and began thrusting inside me a little harder. "Hahh~...hah~...hah~..."

"Mmmnnn~ Mmm~ Nnngh~" /

Shlk~shlk~slk~shlk~slk~

My penis was twitching back to full length.

I wish there were more girls like Roka, my girlfriend, in the world. Though she was hot headed, it meant she was passionate. If there were more of her, no good, kinky person would ever feel unwanted.

She made me feel alive~

She gripped me by the hips and began thrusting harder, "Mmph~mmph~mph~mph~"

She reached turned up the vibrator in her pussy.

 _Vnnnnnnnnnnn~_

"Hhh~haah~ahh~Ahh!~"

Slk!~Slk!~Slk!~Slk!~Slk!~Slk!~

"I'm gonna pull out n cum all over my boyfriend's pretty face~" w

She was getting excited.

"Yaahh~ahhh~" I panted softly. "Nnngh~" /

"Mph!~Mph!~Mph!~Mph!~Mph!~Mph!~"

I could feel her plunging in and out of my hole, sending more and more sensations flooding throughout my body! I had no control over what she was doing, only she did, which made it that much more exciting, and made me feel more like I was going to cum.

She picked up my feet and grabbed my calves so my feet were raised high in the air. This elevated my waist and gave her hips more room to move.

" _YAH!~_ "

Her thrusts suddenly became more intense! Her hips jerked back and snapped forward, plunging her hard shaft inside me!

" _Yah!~Yah!~Yah!~Yah!~Ah!~Ah!~_ "

"Mph!~Mph!~You like that, Yuuki?~You like my dick?~"

" _Y-Yes!~ More, please!~_ "

" _Mph!~Mph!~Mph!~Mph!~Mph!~Mph!~Mph!~_ "

" _Ah!~Ah!~Ah!~Ah!~Ah!~Ah!~Ah!~_ "

I watched her shirt flap around her breasts as she fucked my tender body with such force and energy!

" _It feels so good!~Hah!~Roka, you're stretching me so wide~_ "

" _Hmm~! My pretty little boyfriend loves my many dicks~ I can make him feel good whenever I want~_ "

Suddenly her thrusts sped up!

 _Shlk!Shlk!Shlk!Shlk!Shlk!Shlk!Shlk!Shlk!Shlk!_

" _Okay, seriously now, I'm gonna cum Yuuki!_ "

" _Ahhhh!~Let loose all your love inside me, Roka!~_ "

" _Mm!Mm!~You won't get pregnant?_ "

" _What?!_ "

" _Hehe~ Just kidding!~_ " then she smacked once inside me really hard!

" _YAH!~_ "

" _I'm gonna cum, Yuuki!~Yuuki!~YUUKI!_ "

" _HAH-AHHHHHHH!~_ 💓💓💓💓💓" We filled my room with orgasmic screams~

My own cum shot all over my face, chest and belly as Roka pulled out of me, letting my legs fall so I could see the fresh streams of her juices running down her thighs as she stroked herself and make the dildo shoot more white fluid all over me, especially on my face and glasses~

"Hah~hahh~hah~hah~haah~...haah~...hahh~" She panted with a deep blush on her lewd smiling face as she surveyed the mess she had made of me~

"Oh Yuuki~ " She fell down on top of me and we embraced each other, kissing deeply and feverishly, my cum and her cum squishing between our faces.

"Mm-chu~ Roka~mmph~ "

My penis and the dildo rubbed against each other as they were pressed between us. I rubbed my thigh up against her hip as she caressed it.

Later, with just our thigh socks on, her black, mine white with blue bows on the front, Roka sat me on the bed and was between my legs, sucking me off this time.

"Mmmph~mph~fffmmmph~mmm~"

"Ahh!~Yaaah!~" O. I was trying not to squirm too much, and one of my eyes kept winking shut. Cumming twice from her doing my butt so well had made me a little sensitive.

"Ahhhlll~" She ran her tongue up along my shaft, and began stroking it while suckling on one of my balls. "Tchhhu~ " She winked up at me. "Tchu~tchu~ "

"T-Take it easy— _mmmh!_ I'm still really sensitive..."

"I know~"

She sucked me in, indenting her cheeks, and then began bobbing her head, running my head all along her tongue.

" _Ah!~_ h-h-h- _HAh!~Yah!~_ "

She lifted up and put me between her breasts and began rubbing~

"Oh c'mon, Yuuki~ You don't wanna cum all over me, like I did you~?" She pouted.

"O-Okay~!" I winced. "You're just driving me crazy, a-and I don't know how much I have left~"

"Hehe~ You're pretty healthy like me~ So I think you have enough for my face~" She began lapping at my tip from between her breasts.

"Ahh~Ah~H-h-h- _HAAhhh!_ "

Roka opened her mouth lustily as my boy batter shoot randomly, smacking onto her cheek, in her mouth and over one of her closed eyes.

"Mmm~" she clothes her mouth. "My boyfriend is so tasty~ "

"Haah~hah~..."

"That was plenty," she said, unwrapping the condom wrapper and putting it in her mouth. He went down and rolled it over my still erect penis with only her lips~ "Kay~"

"Wait, I have something for you, dearest girlfriend~" I got up.

"Oh~? What is it dearest boyfriend~?"

I went and fished around inside one of my drawers. When I found it, I spit on the inside and lubed it up with that, before working it onto my penis with the condom still on.

"Hehe, what're you doing, Yuuki?"

"Jaaan~!"

I turned around to reveal my relatively average sized penis now enlarged by a thick funnel of silicon rubber with a knobby texture on the outside for Roka's pleasure! It was also pink!

When my penis was only an inch and a quarter in diameter, it was now two and a half inches in diameter! Thick enough for porno status!

"Uuuuuhhhhhh..." Roka's lips quivered on her wide open mouth as her face went pale.

"You like?"

She gulped.

"Most of your dildos are about this thick..."

"Y-Yeah...b-but I wasn't exactly expecting it..." She couldn't stop staring at it.

"Come on," I crawled over my bed to her while she was still knelt on the floor. "Let's give it a try. Really, I wish I had tied you down and blindfolded you, but I wanted to see the look on your face~" ^w^

"I think when you tied me down and blindfolded me before surprising me with the magic wand was all the surprise I needed. I thought was I was gonna die from orgasming so much because you _tortured_ me with that thing!" She smacked my shoulder.

"Hehe~ Yeah, that was fun~"

With tears rolling down from her blindfold and saliva rolling down her chin, Roka had been like " _No more...no more...you're evil..._ " after screaming her head off during multiple orgasms. Yuuki was pretty sure it was five, but Roka said there were eight that she felt.

I suppose her way of getting back at me has been smacking me around with the dildo~

"Jeez..." she sighed and smiled. "You're always gonna be a boy at heart~ "

"And you're always going to be one awesome girl~ "

I sat on the edge of my bed and she straddled my lap, cradling my neck, squishing my penis with the thick sleeve between us as her legs locked behind my butt.

"Mmmph~"

"Mmmnn~"

We began kissing, the cum on both of our faces pleasantly sticky and slippery between us. Her hips began swaying a little, grinding the smooth, flat surface of her pelvis against the sleeve. I was a bit flaccid, but I started getting warm from her motions.

"C'mon, stick that big thing inside me and let's see what it can do~" she whispered.

She continued pushing my dick against my pelvis more aggressively with hers~ Then she pulled on my neck so she could lift her butt up and I could hold my penis with the thick sleeve and aim it~

I guided her butt with my other hand on her cheek, and she gently lowered herself down.

I felt her warm vulva's lips enclose around my penis' head outside the condom. Then her vulva's lips stretched further apart to take in the mass of silicon around me.

"Nnghaaah~" She looked down at me with one eye winked shut. "I can feel your head inside, but this thing is going to be a bit of a stretch..."

"Take your time~" I smoothed her butt cheek and the small of her back while looking up at he between her breasts. "We have all the time we could want."

"Mm~" she nodded, "But I want sex with you to be a daily all day activity, one day."

I gazed up at her face, and right then, I felt Roka was probably the cutest, most beautiful girl on this planet, possibly in this universe.

"Me too..." I breathed. "If we could do this for as long as we wanted, I want to go with you until I drop, until I feel like I'm going to lose my mind. I want to do all kinds of things with you, Roka..."

"Oh~ me too Yuuki~ I love you, Yuuki..." She held me closer.

"I love you, Roka..." I blushed up at her.

She relaxed her legs and lowered her hips more.

I couldn't feel her hole enclosing around the beginning of the sleeve, but I could feel the pressure all the way around of her tight hole stretching and tensing on it.

" _Mmmm~!_ " She winced and held me tighter. "I-It's so tight..."

"Most of your dildos are bigger than this, you can do it."

"Hehe~ _our_ dildos, ya dork~" she winked. "And it's been a while since I've used them, I didn't know you'd be whipping this thing out, so I'm a bit tight..."

I shook my head and smiled up at her, "Okay, let's take it slow..."

I hugged the small of her back while still gripping her butt, "Hang on Roka, you can do it.

I let go of her back and reached into her vulva and began smoothing my finger around the lips of her hole to help it relax by massaging it, and spreading around her lubrication.

"Mmm~" she quivered. "Thank you Yuuki...that feels nice~"

I rubbed her clitoris to try and help create more lubrication.

" _Mmmmm~_ " /

We'd both already cum enough that our thresholds would require much more stimulation to cum again.

"You're so beautiful, Roka...slowly~"

"Mmmmnn~..." she wiggled her hips gently, and I could feel the rubber vibrating as it glided against her tender flesh~ " _You're_ beautiful, Yuuki. You're the prettiest, kinkiest, bestest boyfriend in the whole wide world!"

"You're so cute, and lewd, and amazing. You're more than anyone could ever ask for."

 _Sqwelch~_

The sleeve and my dick slipped further inside her, her cute, wet vagina making loud, lewd sounds~

" _Mmmm!~_ You're so creative! I love all the fun things you wanna do with me, and all the crazy stuff you come up with to make me feel good and beg you to stop before I lose my mind!"

"You make me feel so alive! I love it when we play pranks on each other! You inspire me to come up with more ideas every day! I want to spend the rest of my life with you!"

She relaxed her legs all the way, and the sleeve slipped almost all the way in!

Her head whipped back! " _Yah!~_ "

Her legs were trembling. I could feel her vagina trembling and twitching around the sleeve, with me inside.

" _Agh~_ " I winced a little, her nails were digging into my back and scratching me.

" _Mmmmmmmm~_ " She squealed, tucking her head into my shoulder as she clutched me /

"Sh...whenver you're ready~ I'm right here~" I smoothed her back.

After another minute of sitting with me inside her, her hips slid up!

" _Yah!~_ " she yelped.

And they slid back down, making a wet lewd sound!

 _Shlk!~_

" _Ahh!~_ "

Roka's beautiful, curvy hips began making wavy motions again, grinding me inside her. I could only feel her walls closing and flexing around my tip, and only barely with the condom on, but I didn't care~ She still felt good against my body, and I knew I was going to last long enough until she was completely satiated~

" _Ahh!~...Ah!~...Ah!~...Ahh!~...Ahh!~_ "

 _Shlk!~...Shlk!~...Shlk!~...Shlk!~...Shlk!~..._

" _Y-Yuuki~_ " she panted, " _Hah!~You feel so good against me~I love doing it like this too~_ "

" _I know, you feel so amazing, even with this thing on~I love your body~I love making you happy, even with toys~_ "

" _Eeeyaahh!~_ " my words made her smash down on me extra harshly. "You _make me happy~Everything about you makes me so very happy~_ "

Her cum covered breasts were hot and squishing against mine, also with cum on them~ x3

" _I want to go out and have fun with you all the time, like we're two girls, and I'm the only one that knows you're a boy~_ "

" _I want to go out with you dressed as a boy, and convince everyone we're the opposite~_ "

" _Hehe~My naughty little boyfriend~_ "

I grabbed her butt cheeks, and felt her breasts squish against mine~

" _Ahh!~_ " she yelped right in my ear and it made me thrust inside her! " _Hah!~_ "

Her thighs were clenching tightly against my hips as her nails left more trail marks on my back!

" _Nnmmmmmgh!~_ " she winced /

I used my hands to push her butt toward me, rocking her while she raised her hips up and down. We made the perfect team~

" _Nghaah!~Ah!~h-h-Ahh!~_ "

" _Hhh~...mmmh~...mmaahh~..._ " I even started feeling it and getting into it.

Roka laid her head back and I could tell she could hardly believe the intense pleasure she was feeling in this moment.

" _hhAhh!~_ " her gasps were so cute, " _hhAh!~hhYah!~Mnghah!~_ "

I felt her letting her butt drift down lower and quicker. I lifted my head and clamped my glossy lips down on one of her breasts, which had been hanging in my face.

" _Yahh!~_ " she yelped again, and soon began bouncing on me, making my bed rock a little. " _Ah!~hhAhh!~hhYah!~Ah!~_ "

Her juices were flooding down the sleeve and making my own thighs wet and cool~

I pushed her butt closer in to me, hitting up inside her more intensely. I could almost feel myself smacking into her uterus. I felt like we were so close, it was like we would melt together! We were soon sweating all over each other, cum being smooshed and smeared between us.

The knobs on the outside of the sleeve began rumbling and grinding inside her, making her vagina vibrate all around~

Roka loved it! She was soon lifting her butt up in long drawn out motions and smacking it down on me!

" _Eeyaah!~hhMmnngh!~_ "

I could feel my head punching against her uterus!

 _Shllap!~...Shllap!~...Shllap!~...Shllap!~..._

I groped her tight butt cheeks like a fiend and suckled on her nipple like I was expecting milk!

I wish my girlfriend could milk without being pregnant~

" _eeYAHH!~_ " Roka sped up even faster!

 _Shlap!~Shlap!~Shlap!~Shlap!~Shlap!~_

I suddenly stood up with her in my arms and carried her over to the wall!

" _Ah!-Y-Yuuki?!~_ "

I hooked my arms under her legs and grabbed her butt again!

" _Mm!~Mm!~Mm!~Mm!~Mm!~_ " I began thrusting up and deep inside her.

" _Yah!~Augh!~hhAh!_ "

I slammed the sleeve inside her as she clung to me with everything she had!

" _F-Fuck me, Yuuki!~You're smashing into my womb!~I'm going insane!~I feel all fuzzy!~_ "

" _Good, Roka~Go crazy for me~_ "

" _Mmph!_ "

I smashed my lips into hers, and her tongue shoved inside my mouth~

Her toes stuck out and flopped in the air from the force I was giving her as I pressed her body against the wall!

" _The knobs on this thing are insane! I love it!_ "

I sped up!

 _Shlk!~Shlk!~Shlk!~Shlk!~Shlk!~Shlk!~_

" _Yah!~Hah!~Ah!~Y-Yuuki?!~_ " /

A minute later, I threw her on my bed, pulled one leg up and began pounding her sideways!

" _Yah!~Yah!~Yah!~Ah!~Ah-hah!~hhAh!-Yah!~_ "

She looked up at me in wonder as I panted and fucked her without any signs of stopping or slowing down!

" _HeYaaah!~Ah!~Ah!~_ "

 _Shlap!~Shlap!~Shlap!~Shlap!~Shlap!~_

My bed had start banging and rumbling against the wall!

 _Bdm!-Bdm!-Dm!-Bdm!_

Her hands were gripping the sheets tightly! A space of the sheets underneath us was getting really moist! Her juices drained out in long strings and little sprays of droplets as I plunged inside her!

" _Yah!~Ah!~HeeYAAH!~AH!~_ "

She had turned to staring off into space, her head tilted up from the sheets with the tension, but not moving from where she was looking as she belted out and filled my house with yelps, gasps and squeals.

I pulled her butt up and grabbed her by the arms like she had me before, and began pounding her even faster and harder!

Her head bobbed uncontrollably as her hair swayed and snapped!

" _Y~A~A~A~A~A~H~H~H~H~H~!_ "

 _Shlk!Shlk!Shlk!Shlk!Shlk!Shlk!Shlk!_

We had probably been going at it for half an hour at this point, but my hips and thighs were only burning a little.

She could barely talk, " _I-I-d-don't know h-how long...I can go!~I-I c-can't cum yet!~But this thing is driving me CRAZY! G-GIVE IT TO ME, YUUKI! YOU FEEL SO GOOD!_ "

I put her on her back and had her by her arms again, underneath her legs, as I used them like handles to drive my cock inside her with as much force as I could muster!

" _A~u~u~u~u~g~g~g~g~h~h~h~h~h~!_ "

Her misty eyes were going crossed as mine had before when she gave me a good pounding like this~ Saliva and tears rolled down her face~

I'm fucking my girlfriend silly again!❤

" _Yuuukiiii...I'm gonna cuuummm~_ "

 _SHLK!SHLK!SHLK!SHLK!SHLK!SHLK!SHLK!SHLK!_

" _HeYAH!~N-NoT So!-Ah!AH!YaH!AH!—_ "

" _Mm!-Mm!-Mm!-Mm!-Mm!-Mm!-Mm!_ " I grunted cutely in my girl voice.

I pushed myself and focused all my energy in my hips to give Roka the pleasure of her life!

Suddenly, the exertion was causing my penis to feel extra sensitive! Maybe it was where my mind was at, but I could feel it getting hotter, and my shaft began filling with fluid!

" _M-Me too Roka!...I'm gonna cum!_ "

" _Cum Yuukiiii!~_ "

 _SHLAP!SHLAP!SHLAP!SHLAP!SHLAP!SHLAP!SHLAP!SHLAP!_

Her eyes popped out at me as a deep blush filled her face! " _Y-Y-YUUKI!-I'M CU-I'M CU-I-I-I'M-CUMMIIIIIING!_ "

" _YAAAAHHHH!_ " I shoved deep inside Roka as her back bowed up, makign her breasts pop out!

" _KYAAAAHHHHHH!_ " Her vagina tightened all around the sleeve and I could feel more strings and drops of her juices spilling onto my already soaking balls and the soaked bed sheets!

It was tense, but I felt myself shooting cum into the condom! My dick pulsed inside it, making the sleeve pulse inside her!

Roka's body twitched with every orgasming spasm, her hands flexing, her toes curling~ " _Yaaaahh!~Nnnnnngh!~Auuuugh~...oohhhhh~..._ "

A long minute of tension and feeling her juices draining onto me and the bed, while my penis flexed the sleeve inside her, pumping cum without my knowledge of what was going on in there, we relaxed. I could only feel warmth around my penis' tip.

My butt rested between my feet on the sheets, with my dick in the sleeve still inside her. Her eyes were still rolled up as her chest expanded and compressed, heaving out lusty, sensual breaths. I panted over her.

Even right now, with her hair damp from sweat, her body and face with cum smeared on them, and that goofy, adorable face she was making, she was the most beautiful thing I had ever see in my life.

I pulled my penis out of her, with the sleeve and condom. Her vagina made a wonderfully lewd sound when I did this~

"Whoa, the condom ballooned~ Roka, check this out~" I wagged my slowly decreasing erection in front of her with the sleeve and condom still attached.

At the end of the sleeve, where my head should have been visible, there was only a small balloon of the condom rubber that was filled with a murky, white fluid.

"Heh-heh~" She was dazed, but still capable of laughing a little. "That's pretty cool~" She sat up, but was very shaky. "Let me see~"

I worked the sleeve off and then gently pulled the condom off, angling my penis down so nothing would leak out. Then I handed it to her, my collected love excretion dangling in a condom.

She took it and felt her finger on it, "It's still warm~" Then she tilted her head up and began draining it into her sexy open mouth! "Ahhh~"

I watched with anticipation as my globs and loads drained onto her tongue.

She showed me, then closed her mouth, licking her lips, all around inside, and swallowing. "You'll always be sustenance to me~" she winked.

"Jeez..." I blushed, "Y-You're gonna make me want to go again, acting like that..."

By this point, we were both about to drop. Actually, we did.

We fell on my bed together, and I felt her hand crawl into mine, gripping it tightly.

"We should do porno..." I panted.

She giggled, "We should..."

"We need water..."

"Yeah, I'm parched~"

"I'll get," I pushed myself up, noticing my own long hair matted from sweat.

"Ohh~ thank you Yuuki~ My legs are a little numb~" she smiled at me. "Don't be too long~❤" Roka always gets really lovey-dovey after sex this intense. And I know what she's like after it being even more intense than this O~O

This is my life. The life of Yuuki Ashikaga. I'm a trap, but I'm also many other things. And as this chapter closes, a new one opens for Roka and me, as we step out of our old school lives and into our futures.

 **THE END**


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